Casper Wells’ dad was thoroughly unimpressed by son’s performance

Casper Wells’ dad was thoroughly unimpressed by son’s performance
September 28, 2013, 12:20 pm
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Hey, do you remember that time about a month ago when Casper Wells went 0 for 7 at the plate and surrendered five runs on the mound in the longest game in Phillies history? Of course you do – it’s history!

Yes, Casper Wells is a person who played for the Phillies this season, which explains a lot actually. He appeared in 11 games for the Fightins in 2013, and might have even picked up a base hit somewhere along the way. Then he went on the disabled list with vision complications, which was the first I had ever heard of that, and the last we ever saw of Wells.

Yeah, that’s the guy.

Anyway, it was a rough season for Wells, who hit .128 and spent the year with three different organizations, and that performance against Arizona on August 24 was undoubtedly the low point. Even the man’s father thought it was just the worst, and apparently we can print that.

For more on Casper Wells’ dad, we go to ESPN’s Jayson Stark, who gave the utility player a “Special Mystery Pitcher Citation” in his weird and wacky highlights from the 2013 baseball season.

His pitching line: 2/3 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 3 BB, 0 K, 40 pitches, 22 strikes. And a fairly momentous addendum: LP: Wells (0-1).

His hitting line: 7 AB, 0 H, 0 R, 0 RBI, 1 BB, 4 K

What's up with that? Wells was the first Phillies position player to get hung with a loss on the mound since Bob Bowman, on Sept. 18, 1959. So that was interesting. And he saw 42 pitches as a hitter -- and threw 40 pitches as a pitcher. You don't see that much! But our favorite Kernel collector, ESPN Stats and Info's Doug Kern, reports that Wells also became the first man in 71 years to go 0-for-7 as a hitter and give up five runs as a pitcher in the same game. Last to do it: A real pitcher, Chalmer (Lum) Harris, in a 16-inning complete game for the Philadelphia A's on Sept. 14, 1942. Wells' surreal evening was summed up beautifully (but clearly jokingly) by his biggest fan -- his dad, Casper, to the Albany Times Union: "I looked at the box score, I almost died. That had to be the worst one-game performance by a baseball player ever."

“Clearly jokingly?” I mean, he may have been laughing when he said it, but it doesn’t make the statement less true, or differentiate really at all from what I thought at the time. I wasn’t going to say anything though, but since his dad did, I guess it’s okay.

Maybe it wasn’t the worst game ever, but it certainly was a horrible performance for the ages.

>> Strangest injuries, craziest box-score lines, funniest Tweets and quips [ESPN]

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