LEGO-like Phillies Toys Exist and They're Both Awful and Amazing

LEGO-like Phillies Toys Exist and They're Both Awful and Amazing

I don’t know about you, but I loved Legos as a kid. I had the castle, I had the pirate ship, I even had a little ice cream truck so the knights & pirates could stop by for creamy treats on the way to more swashbuckling adventures.  Sadly, my love for baseball never had a place in Legoland.  Maybe it should have stayed that way.  This week I discovered that Oyo, who describe themselves as “compatible with brand name building toys” has filled that gap.  Like their off-brand nature, they present the Phillies as represented in Lego Oyo form, to varying degrees of accuracy.

The Outfield

Due to the constraints of the figurine form, Dom Brown and Ben Revere are the same height.  Due to the constraints of not wanting to get too specific about skin color, Dom Brown and Ben Revere are the same complexion.  The “Jr.” is dropped from Mayberry’s name—though his dad never played for the Phillies, the figurine has just the right amount of “generic black guy”ness to make the Fox broadcasting crew disregard that historic tidbit. Righty pull-hitters have it made vs. the Phillies’ defense, as all three outfielders seem only capable of running to Right Field.  There is no figurine for Delmon Young, leaving me to keep searching for the perfect Chanukah present for my nephews.

The Infield

Ryan Howard looks exactly like Dom Brown, right down to the facial hair. Nevermind that there’s like 50 lbs separating them.  Michael Young is just happy to be here, you guys. If he looked any more generic, he’d literally just be a manila envelope wearing a plastic baseball cap.  Jimmy Rollins is probably the coolest of all the not-Lego figurines.  He’s got a sweet goatee, and a smile that says he knows it.

They’ve actually improved on the real Chase Utley, in that his torso can’t twist and strain an oblique.  And based on all that lunging he’s doing, his knees are stronger than ever!  Freddy Galvis is there to fill in for Utley, and introduces a new color of plastic skin—vaguely brown: used for Latin American players not from the Dominican, as well as Shane Victorino.


Now that they’ve expanded the line to mascots, it’s only a matter of time til Erik Kratz gets a little plastic turkeypig to talk him through breakfast, right?

I fear I may have buried the lede here, because if you compare 2013 Carlos Ruiz to his 2011 version, it’s clear that he’s taken up tanning and gotten Botox.  Forget ADHD medication, this is the real story!


I can see the resemblance with Roy Halladay’s beard, but I really can’t get what they’re going for with Cliff Lee. That’s not even his hair color, and he looks downright dastardly. What’s even more confusing is that his earlier iteration had lighter (and more accurate) facial hair. They’ve gone all Brian Wilson on him, and I don’t know why. Meanwhile, Cole Hamels has impeccable eyebrows, and that’s about as far as the resemblance goes.  There is no Kyle Kendrick because I guess the Oyo’s aren’t buying the hype. And there’s no fifth starter because the less said about that, the better.

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Best of NBA: Dwyane Wade hits dagger 3-pointer in Bulls debut

Best of NBA: Dwyane Wade hits dagger 3-pointer in Bulls debut

CHICAGO -- Dwyane Wade scored 22 points in a triumphant Chicago debut, Jimmy Butler had 24 and the Bulls won their season opener, beating the Boston Celtics 105-99 on Thursday night.

Wade nailed a 3 from the corner in the final minute to make it a five-point game. Taj Gibson added 18 points and 10 rebounds, and the new-look Bulls got off to a winning start after missing the playoffs last season for the first time since 2008.

Isaiah Thomas led Boston with 25 points. Avery Bradley had 16, and Jae Crowder 14 points, but the Celtics came up short after opening with a win over Brooklyn the previous night.

The Bulls remade their roster in the offseason, jettisoning one hometown superstar and welcoming another when they traded Derrick Rose to New York and signed Wade to a two-year deal worth about $47 million in a move that stunned Miami.

The three-time NBA champion and 12-time All-Star is off to a good start with the Bulls after 13 seasons with the Heat.

Wade hit 4 of 6 3-pointers in this game after making just seven all of last season (see full recap).

New-look Hawks roll past Wizards
ATLANTA -- Dwight Howard dominated the boards in his Atlanta debut, Paul Millsap scored 28 points and Tim Hardaway Jr. ignited the new-look Hawks to a 114-99 victory over the Washington Wizards in their season opener Thursday night.

Howard grabbed 19 rebounds to go along with 11 points, just what the Hawks expected from their new center, and it certainly wasn't unusual for three-time All-Star Millsap to lead the way in scoring.

But Hardaway's performance was totally unexpected given the way he struggled in his first season with the Hawks, when he was largely confined to the bench and even forced to spend time in the D-League.

He scored 21 points, matching his high in an Atlanta uniform, and broke open a close game with back-to-back 3-pointers in the fourth. The Hawks, who led only 81-80 heading to the final period, outscored the Wizards 33-19 over the final 12 minutes (see full recap).

Best of NHL: Canadiens rally past Lightning for 6th straight win

Best of NHL: Canadiens rally past Lightning for 6th straight win

MONTREAL -- Max Pacioretty scored the tiebreaking goal in Montreal's three-goal third period as the Canadiens beat the Tampa Bay Lightning 3-1 Thursday night for their sixth straight win.

Alex Galchenyuk and Torrey Mitchell also scored to help Montreal improve to 7-0-1. Carey Price made 29 saves to win for the fourth time in four starts this season.

Alex Killorn scored the lone goal for the Lightning, who lost against an Eastern-Conference opponent for the first time this season. Ben Bishop stopped 23 shots.

With the scored tied 1-1, Pacioretty got the go-ahead goal at 10:23 by beating Bishop glove-side. Blown coverage by the Lightning left the Canadiens' captain all alone on the edge of the face-off circle, and Bishop couldn't see the shot with Andrew Shaw posted firmly in front of goal.

Montreal remains the only NHL team still undefeated in regulation (see full recap).

Crosby's late goal gives Penguins win over Islanders
PITTSBURGH -- Sidney Crosby scored the tiebreaking goal late in the third period to lead the Pittsburgh Penguins to a 4-2 victory over the New York Islanders on Thursday night.

Patric Hornqvist, Evgeni Malkin and Phil Kessel also scored -- each getting his third of the season -- to help the Penguins win for the third time in four games and improve to 5-0-1 at home.

Crosby, playing for the second straight game after missing the first six with a concussion, scored with 2:25 left as he caught a pass from Scott Wilson at the top of the crease and quickly turned to his forehand to put the puck behind Islanders goalie Jaroslav Halak.

Kessel added a power-play goal to cap the scoring 32 seconds later.

Marc-Andre Fleury stopped 35 shots while starting for the eighth straight game.

Travis Hamonic and Shane Prince scored for the Islanders, and Halak finished with 31 saves (see full recap).

Streaking Red Wings win marathon shootout vs. Blues
ST. LOUIS -- Henrik Zetterberg scored in the eighth round of a shootout to give the Detroit Red Wings a 2-1 victory over the St. Louis Blues on Thursday night.

Zetterberg's goal gave the Red Wings a six-game winning streak.

In the shootout, St. Louis' first shooter, Alexander Steen, scored but then Vladimir Tarasenko, Kevin Shattenkirk, David Perron, Nail Yakupoc, Robby Fabbri, Patrick Burgland and Dmitrjij Jaskin all came up short.

Gustav Nyquist scored on Detroit's second attempt but Frans Nielsen, Dylan Larkin, Andreas Athanasiou, Tomas Tatar, Riley Sheehan and Darren Helm all missed.

St. Louis had the better chances in overtime. Center Jaden Schwartz missed a wide-open net early in the extra session. Jori Lehtera was stopped on a breakaway midway through the period by Detroit goalie Petr Mrazek (see full recap).