Who Said It: Sarge Matthews or a Child in the AT&T Commercials?

Who Said It: Sarge Matthews or a Child in the AT&T Commercials?

Congratulations, everyone!  We survived the Sisyphusian hellscape that was the 2013 Phillies season.  It hasn’t been pretty. But we had some fun, didn’t we? I said some.  If you were like many fans this season, you attended fewer games at Citizens Bank Park, so you probably found yourself watching more of the broadcasts.  This has brought you countless visits with kindergarten kids discussing the issues in AT&T commercials.  Whether fantasizing about an island made of candy, or failing to grasp the concept of puns, these kids deliver a unique kind of humor that comes from such a mixture of youth, lack of filter, and imagination you’d find in children.  Or, you know, Gary Matthews in the middle of a game.  Amazingly, if you mix a bunch of their quotes with quotes from Sarge, it’s actually quite a challenge to figure out where each line originated…

1.  If you have fast feet, everything...ends up being fast!

2.  When you're slower, you won't have to get in the street as fast and get ran over.

3.  A big fancy stadium, because you can fit more fans in there!

4.  They're all over the ballpark these days, hats.

5.  If stuff is not less, there’s more stuff.

6.  Right now, with all of the computers, you need two guys.

7.  If you put those suits on and lean your head too far out, you can tip over.

8.  And then you’ll have to stay in and then you’ll have to get shaved because you’ll be too hot.

9.  It was just the loneliest time of ever.

10. A lady buying small shoes and having bigger feet--it's gonna be really tight.

11.  If it’s big enough, you can have a disco.

12. Well you guys have all kinds of tricks up here to get your information. Here I gotta go off the top of my head, you're getting textses... text messages from different people.

13. I would give them castses if they’re hurt, colorful castses with stickers on them.

14.  They're gonna welcome them, with arms!

15. From what I hear, we've been having problems pitching and hitting on the same day. And tonight we went out and did that.


Sarge:   1, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15 (okay, that last one was pretty obvious, but I had to include that gem)

AT&T Commercial:   2, 3, 5, 8, 11, 13

Temple Men’s Basketball adds two players to 2016-17 roster

Temple Men’s Basketball adds two players to 2016-17 roster

Temple men’s basketball coach Fran Dunphy announced that the team has added two players to its 2016-17 roster. 

The Owls will announce the two new transfers, junior’s Isaiah Lewis and Steve Leonard, Thursday night at the Liacouras Center at the team’s Cherry and White Night. 

Lewis comes to Temple after playing for Casper College in Wyoming last season, where he averaged 5.5 points and 2.2 assists per game. Before his stint at Casper College, the 6-4 guard also played at Lee Junior College in Texas, and averaged 10.0 points and 4.7 assists per game.

Leonard, a 6-6 guard from Collegeville, Pa., played two seasons at Ursinus College. He averaged 5.6 points over 43 games during his career at Ursinus. 

Brett Brown: Sixers' Nik Stauskas set for 'breakout year'

Brett Brown: Sixers' Nik Stauskas set for 'breakout year'

CAMDEN, N.J. — The irony of Nik Stauskas’ reputation as a three-point shooter is that he doesn’t view himself that way.

Stauskas was drafted eighth overall by the Kings in 2014 after shooting 44.1 percent from three over two years at Michigan. But that’s not how he envisioned himself being in the pros.

“It’s crazy,” Stauskas said after practice Thursday. “I know I was a great shooter coming out of Michigan, but I don’t consider myself a shooter. I consider myself a gamer. I don’t think I’m an effective NBA player when I just stand and spot up and shoot threes. That’s really not my game.”

Stauskas has struggled to find offensive consistency in the NBA. The third-year two-guard averaged 32.4 percent from long range in his first two seasons. He wasn’t reliable as a knockdown shooter and bounced in and out of the starting lineup last season.

Rather than being a finesse player, Brett Brown encouraged Stauskas to get aggressive. Brown wanted to a see an edge from Stauskas and not hold back at the basket.

Stauskas displayed that side to his game on opening night against the Thunder. In 23 minutes off the bench, he scored 13 points on 5-for-6 shooting. His only miss came on a three-point attempt. His 83.3 shooting percentage was a single-game career high.

“He was cocky,” Brown said. “He was in attack mode. He was not afraid to put it to the floor and get to the rim. I feel like he’s got a real chance to have a breakout year. We need him to have a breakout year.”

The Sixers picked up the options on Stauskas, Joel Embiid and Jahlil Okafor on Thursday.

“I think the statement the club made on his contract lets him probably have a little bit more comfort on what we think of him,” Brown said. “I was really happy with his swagger last night.”

Stauskas is figuring out his role on the Sixers this season. It is one that can change often given injuries. A key to being successful, whether he is on the perimeter or at the rim, is feeling confident and in a rhythm on the floor.

“I had fun out there,” Stauskas said. “More than anything, I think yesterday was the first time in a while that I’ve really enjoyed myself out there and had a smile on my face.”