Look, I'll be honest. In anticipation of tomorrow's NBA Draft I spent days searching for the most depressing Sixers-related draft video I could find.
I looked for Shawn Bradley draft day video and instead found approximately 137,542 compilations of him being dunked on.
I searched for Sharone Wright draft day video only to find a :12 second clip of him dunking over Patrick Ewing, and Ewing then dunking over him.
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And because I care about you, the loyal reader, I even searched for Kenny Payne draft day video. Needless to say, none were available, but I did stumble across something called The Kenny Payne Experience, which appeared to be some sort of Jimi Hendrix tribute band - a band which undoubtedly provided joy to more people than the Kenny Payne the Sixers drafted back in 1989.
Thanks to the powers that be over at YouTube and the NBA league office my plan to drag you kicking and screaming down Sixers draft memory lane had run into a major road block.
Fortunately, YouTube is a magical thing. Just when it appears as if I've reached a dead end I randomly stumble upon something unexpectedly amazing. Like, say, a video of Big Shot.
Coincidence? I think not! And Yes, I've used
this Poochie pic beforeNow, at this point it's completely passé to hate on Hip Hop (the mascot; not the music genre). It's a universally accepted fact that he (it?) is an awful mascot.
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A roided-up anthropomorphic rabbit in a doo rag and Oakleys? That's not a mascot. It's a Simpsons punchline.
Again, I am not here to bash Hip Hop. That's just too easy. What I am here for is to praise Big Shot.
A mascot rocking Converse, a five o'clock shadow, tighty-whitey shorts, and a whistle around his neck?
He (and Big Shot was clearly a he) looks like he frequently strolled into smokey jazz bars and banged out a few sax solos. Or, he could just as easily mosey into a club and oh, I don't know, MOONWALK!
Bonus: Enjoy the hilarity of the late great Jim Barniak doing the moonwalk play-by-play on what had to have been PRISM.
Take that, trampoline dunker.
Oh, barring a trade the Sixers are slated to pick 16th on Thursday. Enjoy the draft.