Ever look something up on YouTube and then spend the next two hours chasing link after link? Yeah, that's what happened to me last night. I was mindlessly looking for some old school Sixers videos (because what else would I possibly be doing on a Wednesday night?) when I came across a mildly interesting video, which led to another slightly more interesting video, which in turn led to some downright amazing videos.
Now, based on the number of times these videos have been viewed it's not like I've unearthed any unseen/unheard of gems. However, when taken together the songs transport you to a time when the teams and athletes in town, for better or worse, strapped on the ear goggles and put out some music.
Hands down the Sixers song above is my favorite. You can't help but tap your Dr. J Converse wearing foot, sing along, and count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Sixers...10, 9, 8, 76ers. Fact, whenever I have kids I am bypassing School House Rocks and will teach my kids to count using this song.
The Phillies are next up with this 1976 track featuring Mike Schmidt, Larry Bowa, Garry Maddox, Dave Cash, and Greg Luzinski. Sure, the guitar intro sounds straight out of Boogie Nights, but from a purely nostalgia standpoint it kind of works. Who am I kidding? This song is awful. The only redeeming part is the "Philllllllies Fever!" chorus. Shameful admission: I tormented my friends by playing this song between every inning of the Phils road games during their 2008 playoff run. I regret nothing.
Creepy Foreshadowing Note: If you listen to the song backwards you can clearly hear Luzinski say "Danny Ozark. Black Friday. Manny Mota"
WARNING: The human ear is not capable of withstanding more than a minute or so of this song. I've never made it past the 1:36 mark.
Finally, the third of our triple shot Thursday comes from 1988. The Eagles check in with "Buddy's Watching You". I honestly do not even know where to begin with this one, so I'll play the track (radio term) and then share my thoughts.
Yeah, this needs bullet points.
- Jerome Brown (RIP) - does Michael Jackson know you've been raiding his wardrobe? Note the immediate continuity issue. JB rocks the aforementioned red and black jumpsuit and then is shown in a closeup wearing a white collared shirt. Production value!
- Oh, Randall. How does the most amazingly fluid and athletic quarterback I've ever seen double as the worst dancer in the history of dancing? He honestly looks so happy to be there. Randall, Imma let you be you.
- Mike Quick - in a sea of ridiculousness he still looks smooth. Yes, I am aware of the sweater and mock turtleneck combo he's wearing. He's Mike Quick. He looks cool no matter what.
- Eriq La Salle aka Daryl Jenks from Coming to America is really rocking out in the control room. Bounce with 'em.
- Luis Zendejas. In a cardigan. So innocent. So mustachioed. Completely unaware that a year later he'd have a $200 bounty on his head courtesy of Buddy Ryan. Yes, Luis, Buddy's watching you. Jessie Small, FTW.
- Keith Jackson. For a guy who went to Oklahoma he's not that bad. Bonus points to Randall for chiming in during Jackson's verse with a Flava Flavesque "Yeah, boi".
- Reggie White (RIP) The Minister of Defense does not dance. "Reggie White, defensive end. Hit quarterbacks like they committed a sin." He's the lyrical liberator.
- Wes Hopkins. Kind of scary. Very into the song. Refers to himself as "Wild, Wild, Wes." Wild, Wild, Wes was a beast, but not the smoothest cat ever. He gave his girlfriend a ticket for a seat in the Eagles family section, which wouldn't have been a big deal except that his wife was there too. Oops. Apparently Mrs. Hopkins wasn't afraid to hit either. The most willing dancer of the group. Jazz Hands!
- Andre Waters (RIP). Probably my favorite Eagle from that era. Looks like he's contemplating hitting the microphone stand.
- Serious Note: Unbelievable that three of these guys are dead (JB, Reggie, and Andre).
- Greg Garrity. The sweater. The hair. The mustache. The sunglasses. The jeans. The white sneakers. Quintessential Philly. He could walk around Northern Liberties right now in that outfit and no one would bat an eye. Greg Garrity. Hipster.
- Roynell Young. An obvious late addition to the group as witnessed by him reading the lines right off the paper. So relieved when he finishes his part.
- David Little. Ended up in the wrong studio. Was supposed to be across the hall recording a Gary Barbera Dodgeland commercial. Engages in the most awkward high-five/bash brothers forearm smash with Hipster Garrity.
- Seth Joyner could not make it that day as he was in the midst of a super intense 24 hour scowl.
Finally, I am kind of relieved that the Flyers have never put out a song. I don't think I'd ever recover from Kjell Samuelsson dancing while wearing that Jofa helmet.
I am sure I missed tons of amazingness from the Eagles video. Feel free to add your observations in the comments. Have any Philly music suggestions? It's an all request Thursday, so leave your thoughts below.