The Evster Catches You Up on the NBA Finals

The Evster Catches You Up on the NBA Finals

Look, I like Carlos Zambrano. I think he's a very interesting fella and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him pummel those Gatorade coolers. I also like Zac MacMath. When I went to see the Union play Real Madrid last summer, I walked into the Linc right behind his entire family who were all wearing MacMath jerseys. Nice folks. Cute family. Mediocre goalie, but still. Also the name MacMath is fun to say. MacMath. MacMath. So I get it, I really do. This is a Philadelphia sports website and the 700 Level followers want to read about Philadelphia sports, and that's fine, Jonathan Papps blew another save, we should talk about it. He stinks, there I talked about it, BUT THERE IS AN AMAZING NBA FINALS GOING ON RIGHT NOW WITH A GAME 7 ON TAP TONIGHT, and I'm pretty sure, after doing extensive research, that there has not been one stinking post about the Finals on this website! And correct me if I'm wrong, but this is all coming at a time when EVERY PHILADELPHIA TEAM SUCKS BUTT.

So seeing as tonight is Game 7, and I'm the only person in this city who apparently realizes that MICHAEL YOUNG DOESNT MATTER, let's recap what's been going on in THA FINALZ!!!

Game 1: Tha Shot

Forget about the fact that Tony Parker FELL DOWN just seconds before the shot, then pulled a Curly Neal routine, twisted and turned and ducked under LEBRONNY-BRON of all people before hitting the game winner, there has never, ever, ever been a shot in NBA history that was so close to being a shot clock violation, yet so clearly was not. Each time they showed that Tony Parker replay it seemed to hit home just how incredibly close it was, and how lucky Tony is to have such iddy biddy little French fingers. Parker was so unbelievable in Game 1 (21pts, 6assts 0turns), that you almost (keyword: almost) forgot about the fact that he totally had sex with his best friend's wife. Ugh, what a dick. Really cute guy, sexy accent, but still a dick.

Other things we should've blogged about: LeBronski had a triple dubb (but was held under 20pts), Danny Green wapped four 3s, Birdman outscored Matt Bonner 7 to 0, T-Mac DNP.

Final Verdict: The Heat were tired, Kawhi Leonard is better than everyone on the Sixers, and there's no way I can root for a dude who boned his best friend's wife.

Game 2: Tha Block

Honestly shocked that Tiago Splitter has continued to suit up and attempt to play basketball since his dunk attempt was rejected by the Lebrontasaurus Burger. I really felt like after that play, Splitter should've just ran off the court and out of the arena, never to be heard from again. Kinda like how Shawn Bradley has fallen off the face of the earth since retiring. That's probably the only smart thing Shawn Bradley has ever done in his whole stupid life. God I hate that man. He's probably a really, really nice person.

Other things we should've blogged about: Just the five more 3s from Danny Green, Birdman outscored Bonner  9 to 5, TMac played 8 minutes and only attempted 1 shot. Read that again. Tracy McGrady. Eight minutes of playing time. One shot.

Final Verdict: The Heat got this in 5, Tiago Splitter probably has enough money saved up for retirement, it's absolutely mind-boggling that NBATV makes Brent Barry analyze games involving a guy who slept with his wife.

Game 3: Tha Bomb Squad

Before Game 3, I had never really understood the fascination with the 3-ball. Don't get me wrong, I liked Dale Ellis, thought Hersey Hawkins was a serviceable 10th man for the 1996 Hornets, but have always preferred a hard-nosed guy to lower his shoulder, knock people out the way and get to the rack. I also think Rumeal Robinson was the best point guard ever and my fantasy basketball team has finished in last place three consecutive years. But after watching Danny Green and Gary Neal go ABSOLUTELY BONKERS in game 3 (hitting 13 combined triples), I now get it, I totally totally totally get it. Watching them rain threes was mesmerizing, but not nearly as mesmerizing as Spike Albrecht's performance in this year's NCAA Final. I don't understand why we're still not talking about that. Did you see that little guy? So nifty! Also, how 'bout the fact that Miguel Cabrera won the Triple Crown last year?!?!? Do you realize how amazing that was?!?! I'd been waiting my whole life for that! Carl Yastrzemski can suck a butt!

Other things we should've blogged about: Lebron was held to 15pts on 7-21 shooting because Kawhi Leonard is AWESOME, Birdman and Bonner both scored 2pts, TMac had 3assts and 0turns in 7mins of action, Spike Albrecht tweeted about a thunderstorm in Michigan -- with emoticons!

Final Verdict: The Heat might be in trouble, I shoulda practiced my jumper more, I'm totally writing 30,000 words about Spike Albrecht's Twitter account next week.

Game 4: Tha Return of D-Wade

There are times when Dwayne Wade plays basketball like my 7-yr-old nephew. Dribble dribble dribble, tries to look cool, loses dribble off his foot, gathers dribble, rubs hand on his shorts as if they're sweaty and that's why he lost his dribble, hesitation move, double hesitation move, drives baseline, jumps in the air, looks around for someone to pass to, anyone, has no idea what he's doing, throws the ball wildly back toward three point line, turnover, jogs back on D as if that's a totally normal thing to do, complains to someone, wears stupid pants ... and there are other times when Dwayne Wade absolutely dominates. That was Game 4, where he (32pts), Bronkey (33) and Boshy (20) combined for 85 big ones. I don't know how the Heat ever lose a game.

Other things we should've blogged about: Three more 3s from Danny Green, Chris Bosh introduced himself to the paint ("Hi Paint, I'm Chris." "Hi Chris, I'm the Paint, I can talk,", Spo gave Mike Miller the start, Birdman DNP, TMac DNP, Bonner 4pts on 2 for 2 shooting.

The Final Verdict: Heat in 6, Mike Miller is the weirdest looking person ever, GET BONNER MORE PLAYING TIME.

Game 5: Tha Bald Spot

Pop inserts Manu into the starting lineup and Ginobili goes bonks. Driving to the hoop, jumping off the wrong foot, right hand, left hand, floaters, lookin' like a young Spike Albrecht. Oh, and just the six 3s for Danny Green.

Other things we should've blogged about: Mario Chalmers clearly has no idea who's on his team as he continues to jack up shots (2-10FG), another DNP for Birdman AND TMac, while Bonner gets one minute of action AND A STEAL. Obvs!

The Final Verdict: Heat gotta win two straight at home (THERE'S NO WAY), Manu signs on with CBS for a new sitcom called "Everybody Loves Manu", Brent Barry on suicide watch.

Game 6: Tha Greatest Game Everrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ridic comeback by the Heat (down 5 with :20 left), but how 'bout being down 11 with 7 minutes left? And with Wade on the bench, Bronislav went into beast mode, revving up the energy on D, forcing turnovers, going to the rack SANS HEADBAND, and all of the sudden the Heat were back in this ... BUT THEN TONY PARKER TOOK OVER ... and the Heat were done ... but then Ray Allen got free! ... but he didn't  really get free, he just kinda got free! ... and then overtime! ... and the return of Birdman! ... and how about Mike Miller with one-shoe? ... I can't believe how much I love three-pointers! ... They give you an extra point! ... Aghghghhh, Game 7!!!

Other things we should've blogged about: Duncan goes for 30 and 17 (but only 5pts in the second half!), Manu being Manu completely out of control, Dwayne Wade might stink, Danny Green with only one 3??? Bonner's beard is getting long!

The Final Verdict: How can you ever leave Ray Allen?!?!?!?!?

Game 7: ????

Absolutely no idea what's gonna happen tonight. It always seems like when the Heat play D, they're in it, if they try to act cool, the Spurs wap threes in their face. Honestly after his Game 6 performance, I think Dwayne Wade absolutely stinks and should just get out of Lebron's way. I obviously don't really think that, but I sorta think that. All in all, this has been an incredible Finals even though we've only had two close games. Frankly I want to root for the Spurs, but the guy slept with his teammate's wife for cryin' out loud. How can you do that? Not even Carlos Zambrano would do that!

Zac MacMath on the other hand???

Gingers are VERY in these days.

Follow the Evster on Twitter @TVMWW

Isaac Seumalo to miss Saturday; Stefen Wisniewski sees game as audition

Isaac Seumalo to miss Saturday; Stefen Wisniewski sees game as audition

Since he joined the Eagles on a one-year deal this offseason, veteran Stefen Wisniewski has been focused on becoming a starter.
 
He’ll get a chance to show what he can do Saturday.
 
Rookie Isaac Seumalo, who has been working as the first-team left guard since Allen Barbre was shifted to fill in at right tackle for Lane Johnson, has a strained pec muscle and will miss Saturday night’s preseason game against the Colts. Wisniewksi will start in his place.
 
And the veteran sees the game as an audition for the starting gig.
 
“Yeah, I definitely think it’s an audition to be the starter,” Wisniewski said. “I think I’ve been playing starter-quality football all camp. And the job’s still open and just going to try to continue to do what I’ve been doing, play really well and show that I can be the starter.”
 
But can he actually win the job? Is there anything he can do on Saturday to keep Seumalo from retaking the left guard spot?
 
“I’m not saying he can’t win it,” head coach Doug Pederson said, “but I’m saying right now I’m not going to let an injury keep Isaac out of the starting rotation.”
 
Wisniewski, 27, has played in 77 career games and has 77 career starts. At the time he signed, he was clearly frustrated that a longer-term deal didn’t come his way. Now, he’s determined to keep his starting streak alive.
 
“That’s definitely my goal,” Wisniewksi said. “I’d be lying if I told you I wouldn’t be disappointed if I was the backup.”
 
Seumalo was plugged into the starting left guard spot just after a less-than-stellar first performance against Tampa Bay in the first preseason game. At the time, it was a surprise to some that Seumalo was handed the job, even though he was a third-round pick.
 
Despite Seuamlo’s being in the lead, Wisniewski said he thinks the competition has been fair.
 
“Yeah, I mean, as far as I’m aware, it’s been an open competition and it’s still an open competition,” Wisniewski said. “That’s as fair as it can be. I’ve been getting a lot of reps at guard, so have the other guys. That’s all I can ask for.”

Tim Tebow's baseball bid 'kind of a slap in the face,' says Phillies reliever

Tim Tebow's baseball bid 'kind of a slap in the face,' says Phillies reliever

CHICAGO — David Hernandez has great respect for what Tim Tebow did on the football field.

But as for Tebow's bid to become a major-league baseball player at age 29 after not having played the game since he was a junior in high school — well, Hernandez has some strong opinions.

The Phillies' relief pitcher first voiced them on Twitter when Tebow announced his intentions two weeks ago and echoed them when it was announced Tuesday that the former Heisman trophy-winning quarterback had scheduled a private showcase for major-league scouts to be held next week in Los Angeles. As a matter of curiosity and due diligence, the Phillies will have a scout peek in on Tebow's workout. As many as 20 other teams are expected to be on hand as well.

"I think it's ridiculous," Hernandez said of Tebow's bid to reach the majors. "Hats off to him for getting an opportunity, but I just don't think it's very plausible that he'll get anywhere.

"Nothing against him, but just from the standpoint that getting to the major leagues is a long grind. It's not easy. There's a lot of work that goes into it. 

"It's kind of a slap in the face for him to say, 'I think I'll grab my things and go play pro baseball.' It's not that easy."

Hernandez, 31, pitched in high school and college then spent more than four seasons in the minors before getting to the majors with Baltimore in 2009. Before signing with the Phillies last winter, he pitched for Arizona and survived Tommy John surgery. 

In other words, he's put in the time. He knows how difficult it is to make the climb to the majors.

So does catcher Cameron Rupp. He was recruited to play linebacker at Iowa, but baseball was his first love and playing in the majors his goal. He played three years for his home state Texas Longhorns before being selected by the Phillies in the third round of the 2010 draft. 

Rupp laughed when he first heard of Tebow's intention. 

He remained skeptical when he heard Tebow had lined up a showcase.

"If that's what he wants to do — good luck," Rupp said. "Guys play a long time trying to get where we are. And those that are here are trying to stay here. Staying here is the tough part.

"High school is one thing. A lot of guys play high school and were good and get to pro ball and are overmatched. He's an athlete, no question. But you can't go 10 years without seeing live pitching and all of the sudden some guy is throwing 95 (mph). That will be a challenge. 

"I don't know if he thinks baseball is easy. It's not. It'll be interesting."

Bench coach Larry Bowa is a huge sports fan, loves football and loves what Tebow did on the field at the University of Florida. 

But Bowa has been in pro ball for 50 years. He played in the majors for 16 years and has managed and coached in the majors. Like Hernandez and Rupp, Bowa is skeptical about Tebow's chances and he wonders about the former quarterback's overall understanding of the challenge he faces.

"Whosever idea it is, they don't respect the game of baseball," Bowa said. "It's a hard game. You don't come in at age 28 or 29. I'm not saying he's not a good athlete, but this is a hard game and there are a lot of good athletes in pro ball that never get to the big leagues. 

"I don't think it can happen. There are guys 28 or 29 that are getting released everyday. How can you take 10 years off and all of the sudden be facing guys throwing 95, guys throwing sliders?"

Tebow did show some baseball tools as an outfielder/pitcher in high school. He hit .494 with four homers and 30 RBIs as a junior at Nease HS in Ponte Vedra, Florida, before giving up baseball to focus on football. He played three seasons in the NFL with the Broncos and Jets but failed to stick. 

Clearly, he still has the competitiveness, desire and work ethic that he took to the gridiron. It's just difficult to see that ever getting him to the major leagues. 

But if he ever does ...

"Who knows, maybe I'll face him," critic David Hernandez said with a laugh. "Hopefully he doesn't hit a home run off me. That would be the ultimate comeback."

MLB Notes: Angels closer Huston Street has season-ending surgery

MLB Notes: Angels closer Huston Street has season-ending surgery

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Los Angeles Angels closer Huston Street has undergone season-ending arthroscopic surgery on his right knee.

Street had surgery to repair a torn meniscus Wednesday in his native Texas.

The surgery puts an end to the least impressive season of Street's 12-year career. The three-time All-Star is 3-2 with a career-low nine saves and a 6.45 ERA.

Street hasn't pitched since July 31. He missed significant playing time earlier this season with an oblique muscle injury.

Street is expected to be healthy for next season. He is under contract for $9 million in 2017.

He is the sixth player to undergo season-ending surgery for the Angels (52-73), who are on pace for their worst season in 23 years.

Nationals: Katie Ledecky to throw out 1st pitch
WASHINGTON -- Swimmer Katie Ledecky is throwing out the ceremonial first pitch Wednesday night as the Washington Nationals host the Baltimore Orioles in game three of a four-game series.

The 19-year-old Bethesda native returned from the games in Rio with four golds and a silver medal. It will be the third time Ledecky has thrown out the first pitch at Nationals Park.

The Nationals have lost the first two games of the Beltway rivalry series.

Ledecky set world records in winning the 400m freestyle and 800m freestyle. She also won gold in the 200m freestyle and 4x200m freestyle relay, and silver in the 4x100m freestyle.

She will be a freshman at Stanford in the fall.