The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

Here's a sneak peek into how things work at The 700 Levvy: Every Thursday afternoon, I email Enrico telling him I have NO IDEA what I'm gonna write about for this week's post and every week he responds by saying "ummmm" and "durrrrrrr" and "I don't know what you should write about either." Then, after some lousy ideas are tossed back and forth, he gives up and just tells me to do whatever I want because "life is meaningless and who cares." Then I write some garbage, click "publish" and get paid ACTUAL AMERICAN CURRENCY by Comcast.

This Thursday was no different. I had nothin. So I looked out my office window, searching for some sort of inspirashe, and realized this week's post was staring me right in the face.

And then I thought, "Ehh, whatever, enough has been written about D-Jax this week. What if I just searched the internet for some really cool posters?"

BOOM BABY.

So here we are!

I scoured the internet, uncovered some gems, and am ready to take you on a trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, I found WAY TOO MANY posters for just one post. So Ron Hextall and Reggie White and MICKEY MORANDINI will have to wait. This week, in honor of the shittiest basketball team to ever walk the planet, I'm highlighting Sixers posters ONLY. If this post is well received (meaning if Enrico doesn't get fired), I'll do another jawn later in the year featuring Phillies, Eagles and Flurbers posters.

But for now, just scroll down and enjoy the best five minutes of your stupid, meaningless week.

Obviously everything about this poster is amazing. From the shards of glass under Darryl's sneaks to his high waisted shorts -- which are currently back in style! -- this poster is incredible. I mean, Darryl's shorts are basically covering his ENTIRE belly button (which is surprisingly VERY smooth). In fact, all of Darryl is smooth. He's like the smoothest, chocolateiest man. No wonder his nickname was Chocolate Smooth Man.

Also notice that Darryl's left sock is slightly rolled down at the top (a very popular style among soccer players circa 1989) and you can totally see his dork pressed against the front of his shorts (which I find to be a nice touch).

Probably the best poster ever.

I mean, let's be honest here, this is probably the BEST. POSTER. EVER. Can you imagine the photographer sitting down with big Mo before this photo shoot?

"Uh, yeah, Moses, so we were thinking of having you stand in the middle of the Red Sea, like you had just parted it, but instead of goats and Israelites and lepers behind you, we'll just have a bunch of basketballs. Like, sticking out of the sand. And seashells. And starfish. Maybe like, two starfish."

"I wear red shorts."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can wear your red shorts."

"Red shirt, too."

"Perfect. Perfect, Moses. That'll be just perfs. How 'bout a robe? Would you wear a robe?"

Moses walks away while eating an entire baked potato.

Just your standard Nike poster with Moses and Charles wearing trash bags as shirts. No big deal. Just Hefty Glad Bags, cut up, and draped over two of the best rebounders in NBA history. How does this fit in with Nike's Air Force brand? And is Chuck also wearing a mock trash bag turtleneck? Either way, no two men have ever looked scarier. I would not challenge these guys to a take-out-the-trash contest let alone a game of 2-on-2. Actually, are those ponchos? I think they might be ponchos. That makes a little more sense, what with the mist and all, and the ponchos make these guys a bit more approachable. BUT WHY IS IT SO MISTY? This poster should be called MIST FORCE.

Here's an amazing non-misty Moses Malone Nike commercial from back in the day (with French subtitles).

Here's more Moses, together with (left to right) Michael Cooper (amazzzzzziiiinnnggggg hat by the way), Moses (all business), Calvin Natt (sorry, who?), Jamaal Wilkes (aka Mississippi Slim), BOBBY JONES (represent, represent-zent!) and Mychal Thompson (born in the Bahamas!) as part of Nike's original Air Force 1 campaign back in 1982.

A few years ago, for Air Force 1's 25-year anniversary, Nike actually re-released this poster and started selling DOLLS of all six of these Air Force 1 dudes ($150 for the set).

Just dolls with little hats and jumpsuits and basketballs.

Not that cute.

Not that incredible.

Just the $150.

Here's Mo Mo:

YO TRY TO STEP TO THAT MOSES DOLL AND SEE WHAT HAPPS.

The nameplate on his little jacket says "Malone."

This is an unbelievable world we live in.

THIS GUY WILL TAKE CHARGES ALL NIGHT LONG.

His belt is tied so tight, too!

Accentuate those curves, right Bobby?!

I know that Wes Anderson sights people like Orson Welles and François Truffaut as his influences, but I kinda feel like he had this Bobby Jones poster hanging up in his room growing up. Look at the attention to detail here: the Nike carpet, the Nike flag, the little basketballs on top of the flag posts, the globe on his desk that's actually a basketball, THE THREE PIECE SUIT.

So Wes Anderson!

It's disappointing that this Charles poster is not as dope as the other Costacos posters from its era, but it's still nice in its simplicity. It's also incredible to see how fit Charles was back then. I mean, he's not skinny, but he's kinda skinny. Those shorts honestly look so comfortable. Here's the best Charles Barkley video ever made.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/oJuINS6WZyA width=620 height=465]

"Nights of Thunder" is so stupid, but also so amazing. Tom Cruise is honestly such a dork. Those Nike Flights that Chuck wore during the 1990 playoffs though were maybe my favorite sneaks ever.

I have so many questions about this poster.

1. Like, what is Charles Oakley doing in the background? Who is he guarding? And why isn't he playing any help D? I think he's just leaking out for a fast break THAT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPS, Oak! Thump and Bizzump!

2. Did Rick Mahorn really need that elbow pad? I mean, what did that thing do? And why was it made of leather?

3. Patrick Ewing's knee pads (with those weird leather thingies underneath) were always so ridiculous and sad. He was such a beast back at Georgetown, but those knee pads, ugh. Look how much cooler Rick Mahorn's bare knees look that Pat's volleyball jawns.

I realize #3 wasn't even a question, but #2 had like nine questions in one question. So...

Stackhouse ALSO rocking the weird, leather knee sleeve! Was orthopedic medicine really that lame 20 years ago? How does that help your performance? I imagine it made your knees so sweaty.

These Sixers unis remain my all-time faves.

Also, and this could be the most fascinating thing in this entire post, I'm 95% sure that #24 on the Raptors is former Fab Fiver, Jimmy King.

Congratulations. You have made it down to BY FAR the dopest part of the this post... the Dr. J section. While I was doing research for this post (i.e. googling stuff and googling stuff and googling stuff), I got sidetracked for around three hours just checking out old pics, posters and girlfriends of Doc. This Converse ad above is only the appetizer. The rest is a goddamn Doctor J gold mine.

What is this even an ad for? Spalding basketballs? The brand in general? What else does Spalding even make? Soup? Spaulding get your foot off the boat!

Also, check out the dude in the bottom righthand corner. What is he trying to do? Is he trying to block Doc's shot? Did he even jump? Spaulding! Get dressed you're playing golf.

No I'm not, Grampa. I'm playing tennis.

My favorite part is the ref if the background T'ing Doc up.

WHATEVER, REF!

YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING AND LIKE IT.

So silky.

Do they even make socks like that anymore?

Also, check out that dude up in the front row of the second level going absolutely bonkers.

TUCKED IN SHIRT!

This is not a poster, but photoshop a Converse logo in the corner and boom, hang it in your living room. For real though, I've never seen anyone but Doc just grip the ball behind his head like that and RAM. And how 'bout that Brazilian soccer-player-looking-dude standing at half court? Is he wearing jean shorts? With a belt? And business socks?

You can just imagine the explosion of "Ohhhhhhs!!!" that came from the crowd after Doc brought the house down here. For the record, when I was around 25 years old, I had sex with a 36-year-old lady and my roommates told me we "brought the house down." To this day it remains the greatest compliment I've ever received. Pretty sure the guy behind Doc here has his shoelaces tied together.

This picture is so freaking awesome I can't handle it.

Let's take a break and watch an old Doc Converse commersh to calm us all down.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/tAoDIJAhC64 width=620 height=465]

Again, not a poster, but too unbelievable to leave out of this post.

Okay, first of all, it's every woman's dream to have double ovens in her kitchen, and Turquoise has GOT THAT. But let's forget about the all yellow everything for a sec, and the perfectly organized flour and sugar canisters, and the WALL-TO-WALL CARPETING? and let's talk about Turquoise's outfit. Converse sneaks and baby blue tennis socks with the little balls on the heels?!?!!

Adorbs!

And yet, sadly, like most couples, they just couldn't stand the test of time.

Doc's still got it, tho!

He's still got it.

I see you, Doc!

Speaking of "still got it," $99.99 will get you this exclusive Elena Delle Donne Fathead.

Interesting scarf collection this little girl has on her bedpost by the way. Or boy! Could be a boy!

Delle Donne also rocking the modern day knee-pad Leggersons that every person over the age of 28 thinks are absolutely ridiculous.

What is Dikembe doing here? I know Paul Westhead was an offensive-minded coach, and gave his players the freedom to operate, but he couldn't be happy that Deke was putting the ball on the floor here. Guarantee this play ended up as either a travel or a running jump hook that clanged off the backboard. Dope that this little kid is into chess, though. That is a chess board in the foreground, right? omg it's not even a real room, Ev! Who cares?!

WHAT IS THIS POSTER AND HOW DO I ACQUIRE IT?

RIP MOE CHEEKS.

How sweet is that bunk bed action?

GUARANTEE THIS KID BRINGS THE HOUSE DOWN FROM TIME TO TIME.

"Toney."

WHATEVER COACH COLLINS.

What you know about bringin da house down?!

Follow The Evster @TVMWW.

 

Raudabaugh throws 10 touchdowns, Soul clinch home-field advantage

usa-dan-raudabaugh-soul.jpg
USA Today Images

Raudabaugh throws 10 touchdowns, Soul clinch home-field advantage

The Soul (13-3) defeated the Orlando Predators (12-4)  67-59 at the Amway Center in Orlando on Saturday night.  

With the win, the Soul will have home field advantage throughout the American Conference Championship game.

Reigning league MVP Dan Raudabaugh completed 21 of 29 passes for 335 yards and 10 touchdowns.  Four of those scores were to receiver Chris Duvalt, who led all receivers with nine receptions and 155 yards.

The Soul will host the Tampa Bay Storm (2-14) next Sunday, August 7 at 6 p.m. With a win, the Soul will return to PPL Center for the conference championship on August 14. 
 

Hellickson wins possible Phillies swan song, but sustains minor hand injury

Hellickson wins possible Phillies swan song, but sustains minor hand injury

BOX SCORE

ATLANTA – Though he wasn’t happy with the way he pitched in what might have been his last start with the Phillies, Jeremy Hellickson still helped the ballclub win on Saturday night.
 
He just did it more with his bat than his arm.
 
Hellickson’s two-run double – the first extra-base hit of his career – gave the Phillies the lead in the fifth inning of what eventually became a 9-5 win over the Atlanta Braves (see Instant Replay).

“The big hit for me was Hellickson’s double,” manager Pete Mackanin said after the game.
 
Mackanin was so happy with Hellickson’s double down the leftfield line that he absolved the pitcher for not being able to get a bunt down earlier in the at-bat.
 
Well, sort of.
 
“We’re going to have to do extra work with all the pitchers because we’re not getting bunts down,” said Mackanin, who was happy to get the win but a little exasperated by the sloppiness of the three-hour, 40-minute dull toothache of a game.
 
“At least we won,” he said. “A win’s a win.”
 
Hellickson's at-bat in the fifth was actually a little more adventurous than anyone would have liked, particularly with the pitcher being on the trading block. Before stroking the double to left, Hellickson got jammed while hitting a foul ball to the right side. The jam shot caused some soreness and bruising on the palm of his right hand and prevented him from getting through the sixth inning. He left after 5 2/3 innings with a 5-3 lead that he helped build.
 
“I’m still not really sure what it is, a bruise or I popped something in there,” Hellickson said after the game. “But I felt fine, though, after I did it. It was just a little tough to grip -- just the curveball.”

Mackanin sent pitching coach Bob McClure to the mound to check on Hellickson in the sixth. The pitcher told McClure his palm was sore so Mackanin got him out of there.
 
“It jarred him,” Mackanin said. “But he’s OK now. In the end, it’s not a big deal. It’s not like his elbow was hurting, you know what I mean?
 
“Anyway, his hit was the big hit of the game. It turned it around for us.”
 
It remains to be seen whether Hellickson’s sore hand will affect his trade status. The issue seemed minor enough that it shouldn’t, but one never knows.
 
The Phillies, according to sources, have received significant interest in Hellickson and he could be on the move by Monday’s 4 p.m. trade deadline. A number of teams including the Orioles, Pirates, Blue Jays and Cardinals have been monitoring him. The Dodgers and Tigers, both in the market for a starter, had scouts at Saturday night’s game. The Tigers scout parachuted in specifically to see Hellickson.
 
Hellickson finished the month of July with a 2.34 ERA in six starts and gave up just four runs in his last three starts. So if someone trades for him, they will be getting a hot hand. He is 8-7 with a 3.70 ERA in 22 starts with the Phillies.
 
“I have no idea what’s going to happen,” Hellickson said. “I'll find out Monday. 
 
“I can't control any of it. So I've just been focused on every start and in between starts. Whatever happens happens. Hopefully I'm still here on Tuesday.”
 
Mackanin echoed that thought.
 
“He’s been an outstanding guy, a real likable person,” Mackanin said. “He’s got a good work ethic. He’s focused and poised on the mound. He’s a true pitcher. He knows how to change speeds. I’d like to keep him.”
 
Atlanta out-hit the Phils, 14-9, but the Braves made two errors and their pitchers walked eight, including four in the eighth innings when the Phillies sent nine men to the plate and scored four times without getting a hit.
 
“When you score four runs without a hit you better win the game,” Mackanin said.
 
The Phillies were able to do that because Cameron Rupp had three hits and scored two runs and reliever Edubray Ramos got four big outs, three via strikeout. Trade candidate Jeanmar Gomez closed out the game in a non-save situation.

“I wanted to win the game,” Mackanin said of his decision to use Gomez. “I didn’t want to take any chances with anyone else. I just wanted one of my best guys knowing that he’s well rested and we have a day off Monday.”
 
Not everyone will be off Monday. The front office will be working the phones as the minutes tick away until the 4 p.m. deadline. Vince Velasquez is in play (see story). Gomez could go. David Hernandez could go. And so could Hellickson. If this was his last start with the Phillies, he finished up with a win.

Best of MLB: Happ gets 14th win, Blue Jays take over 1st place

Best of MLB: Happ gets 14th win, Blue Jays take over 1st place

TORONTO -- With one big inning and another strong start from J.A. Happ, the Blue Jays moved into the AL East lead.

Happ won his eighth straight decision, Devon Travis homered and Toronto used a seven-run fifth to beat the Baltimore Orioles 9-1 Saturday, taking sole possession of first place for the first time since early April.

"There's still a lot of baseball left, but I feel we're starting to play good ball," Blue Jays catcher Russell Martin said.

Toronto, which won for the 16th time in 22 games, had not been alone atop its division since a 2-0 start. The Blue Jays have scored seven or more runs in an inning three times this season.

Kevin Pillar had two hits and drove in four runs to match his career high. Major league RBIs leader Edwin Encarnacion drove in his 89th run (see full recap).

Giants find just enough offense for rare win since break
SAN FRANCISCO -- Hunter Pence is healthy at last. Joe Panik has been back a few days from a concussion and is driving in runs again. The San Francisco Giants sure are starting to look like themselves again.

Oh, with that new face in the infield of Eduardo Nunez.

Panik hit a go-ahead sacrifice fly in the seventh inning, Nunez had a two-run double in his first start with San Francisco and the Giants snapped a three-game losing streak by beating the Washington Nationals 5-3 on Saturday.

Pence was activated from the disabled list after missing 48 games with a strained right hamstring that required surgery.

"It's huge, just his presence in the lineup," manager Bruce Bochy said. "He's one of our guys. In addition to the talent, he brings energy and all those intangibles. He charged up the troops being out there (see full recap)."

De La Rosa, Rockies win 5th straight, Mets lose 4th in row
NEW YORK -- Jorge De La Rosa earned his 100th career victory and the Colorado Rockies eventually caught up with Bartolo Colon, beating the New York Mets 7-2 on a rainy Saturday night for their fifth straight win.

The Rockies improved to 12-4 since the All-Star break and won despite losing NL home run leader Trevor Story to a jammed left thumb. He seemed to get hurt on a scrambling slide in the fourth, exited early and X-rays on the rookie shortstop were negative.

On the day the Mets retired Hall of Fame catcher Mike Piazza's No. 31, the Mets lost their fourth in row. The 43-year-old Colon (9-6) faltered in his first start on three days' rest since 2005, and slugger Yoenis Cespedes left in midgame because of a nagging quad injury (see full recap).

Rea injured in Miami debut, Marlins win 11-0
MIAMI -- The Miami Marlins' big win might have come with a price.

Newly acquired Colin Rea left early with an elbow injury in his Miami debut in the Marlins' 11-0 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals on Saturday night.

"We obviously needed the win, but it's not at that cost," Marlins reliever David Phelps said. "Hopefully, it's nothing, but you never like to see a starter come out of the game when you're strapped for starters to begin with."

Rea, acquired in a trade with San Diego, pitched 3 1/3 scoreless innings, allowing one hit and striking out four.

"I kind of felt something in my elbow and it gradually got worse throughout the game," Rea said. "I don't know if I could have thrown another pitch, but we'll see. We don't know anything yet."

Rea initially felt a pain in his arm during warm-ups before the game, but tried to pitch through it (see full recap).