The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

Here's a sneak peek into how things work at The 700 Levvy: Every Thursday afternoon, I email Enrico telling him I have NO IDEA what I'm gonna write about for this week's post and every week he responds by saying "ummmm" and "durrrrrrr" and "I don't know what you should write about either." Then, after some lousy ideas are tossed back and forth, he gives up and just tells me to do whatever I want because "life is meaningless and who cares." Then I write some garbage, click "publish" and get paid ACTUAL AMERICAN CURRENCY by Comcast.

This Thursday was no different. I had nothin. So I looked out my office window, searching for some sort of inspirashe, and realized this week's post was staring me right in the face.

And then I thought, "Ehh, whatever, enough has been written about D-Jax this week. What if I just searched the internet for some really cool posters?"

BOOM BABY.

So here we are!

I scoured the internet, uncovered some gems, and am ready to take you on a trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, I found WAY TOO MANY posters for just one post. So Ron Hextall and Reggie White and MICKEY MORANDINI will have to wait. This week, in honor of the shittiest basketball team to ever walk the planet, I'm highlighting Sixers posters ONLY. If this post is well received (meaning if Enrico doesn't get fired), I'll do another jawn later in the year featuring Phillies, Eagles and Flurbers posters.

But for now, just scroll down and enjoy the best five minutes of your stupid, meaningless week.

Obviously everything about this poster is amazing. From the shards of glass under Darryl's sneaks to his high waisted shorts -- which are currently back in style! -- this poster is incredible. I mean, Darryl's shorts are basically covering his ENTIRE belly button (which is surprisingly VERY smooth). In fact, all of Darryl is smooth. He's like the smoothest, chocolateiest man. No wonder his nickname was Chocolate Smooth Man.

Also notice that Darryl's left sock is slightly rolled down at the top (a very popular style among soccer players circa 1989) and you can totally see his dork pressed against the front of his shorts (which I find to be a nice touch).

Probably the best poster ever.

I mean, let's be honest here, this is probably the BEST. POSTER. EVER. Can you imagine the photographer sitting down with big Mo before this photo shoot?

"Uh, yeah, Moses, so we were thinking of having you stand in the middle of the Red Sea, like you had just parted it, but instead of goats and Israelites and lepers behind you, we'll just have a bunch of basketballs. Like, sticking out of the sand. And seashells. And starfish. Maybe like, two starfish."

"I wear red shorts."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can wear your red shorts."

"Red shirt, too."

"Perfect. Perfect, Moses. That'll be just perfs. How 'bout a robe? Would you wear a robe?"

Moses walks away while eating an entire baked potato.

Just your standard Nike poster with Moses and Charles wearing trash bags as shirts. No big deal. Just Hefty Glad Bags, cut up, and draped over two of the best rebounders in NBA history. How does this fit in with Nike's Air Force brand? And is Chuck also wearing a mock trash bag turtleneck? Either way, no two men have ever looked scarier. I would not challenge these guys to a take-out-the-trash contest let alone a game of 2-on-2. Actually, are those ponchos? I think they might be ponchos. That makes a little more sense, what with the mist and all, and the ponchos make these guys a bit more approachable. BUT WHY IS IT SO MISTY? This poster should be called MIST FORCE.

Here's an amazing non-misty Moses Malone Nike commercial from back in the day (with French subtitles).

Here's more Moses, together with (left to right) Michael Cooper (amazzzzzziiiinnnggggg hat by the way), Moses (all business), Calvin Natt (sorry, who?), Jamaal Wilkes (aka Mississippi Slim), BOBBY JONES (represent, represent-zent!) and Mychal Thompson (born in the Bahamas!) as part of Nike's original Air Force 1 campaign back in 1982.

A few years ago, for Air Force 1's 25-year anniversary, Nike actually re-released this poster and started selling DOLLS of all six of these Air Force 1 dudes ($150 for the set).

Just dolls with little hats and jumpsuits and basketballs.

Not that cute.

Not that incredible.

Just the $150.

Here's Mo Mo:

YO TRY TO STEP TO THAT MOSES DOLL AND SEE WHAT HAPPS.

The nameplate on his little jacket says "Malone."

This is an unbelievable world we live in.

THIS GUY WILL TAKE CHARGES ALL NIGHT LONG.

His belt is tied so tight, too!

Accentuate those curves, right Bobby?!

I know that Wes Anderson sights people like Orson Welles and François Truffaut as his influences, but I kinda feel like he had this Bobby Jones poster hanging up in his room growing up. Look at the attention to detail here: the Nike carpet, the Nike flag, the little basketballs on top of the flag posts, the globe on his desk that's actually a basketball, THE THREE PIECE SUIT.

So Wes Anderson!

It's disappointing that this Charles poster is not as dope as the other Costacos posters from its era, but it's still nice in its simplicity. It's also incredible to see how fit Charles was back then. I mean, he's not skinny, but he's kinda skinny. Those shorts honestly look so comfortable. Here's the best Charles Barkley video ever made.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/oJuINS6WZyA width=620 height=465]

"Nights of Thunder" is so stupid, but also so amazing. Tom Cruise is honestly such a dork. Those Nike Flights that Chuck wore during the 1990 playoffs though were maybe my favorite sneaks ever.

I have so many questions about this poster.

1. Like, what is Charles Oakley doing in the background? Who is he guarding? And why isn't he playing any help D? I think he's just leaking out for a fast break THAT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPS, Oak! Thump and Bizzump!

2. Did Rick Mahorn really need that elbow pad? I mean, what did that thing do? And why was it made of leather?

3. Patrick Ewing's knee pads (with those weird leather thingies underneath) were always so ridiculous and sad. He was such a beast back at Georgetown, but those knee pads, ugh. Look how much cooler Rick Mahorn's bare knees look that Pat's volleyball jawns.

I realize #3 wasn't even a question, but #2 had like nine questions in one question. So...

Stackhouse ALSO rocking the weird, leather knee sleeve! Was orthopedic medicine really that lame 20 years ago? How does that help your performance? I imagine it made your knees so sweaty.

These Sixers unis remain my all-time faves.

Also, and this could be the most fascinating thing in this entire post, I'm 95% sure that #24 on the Raptors is former Fab Fiver, Jimmy King.

Congratulations. You have made it down to BY FAR the dopest part of the this post... the Dr. J section. While I was doing research for this post (i.e. googling stuff and googling stuff and googling stuff), I got sidetracked for around three hours just checking out old pics, posters and girlfriends of Doc. This Converse ad above is only the appetizer. The rest is a goddamn Doctor J gold mine.

What is this even an ad for? Spalding basketballs? The brand in general? What else does Spalding even make? Soup? Spaulding get your foot off the boat!

Also, check out the dude in the bottom righthand corner. What is he trying to do? Is he trying to block Doc's shot? Did he even jump? Spaulding! Get dressed you're playing golf.

No I'm not, Grampa. I'm playing tennis.

My favorite part is the ref if the background T'ing Doc up.

WHATEVER, REF!

YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING AND LIKE IT.

So silky.

Do they even make socks like that anymore?

Also, check out that dude up in the front row of the second level going absolutely bonkers.

TUCKED IN SHIRT!

This is not a poster, but photoshop a Converse logo in the corner and boom, hang it in your living room. For real though, I've never seen anyone but Doc just grip the ball behind his head like that and RAM. And how 'bout that Brazilian soccer-player-looking-dude standing at half court? Is he wearing jean shorts? With a belt? And business socks?

You can just imagine the explosion of "Ohhhhhhs!!!" that came from the crowd after Doc brought the house down here. For the record, when I was around 25 years old, I had sex with a 36-year-old lady and my roommates told me we "brought the house down." To this day it remains the greatest compliment I've ever received. Pretty sure the guy behind Doc here has his shoelaces tied together.

This picture is so freaking awesome I can't handle it.

Let's take a break and watch an old Doc Converse commersh to calm us all down.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/tAoDIJAhC64 width=620 height=465]

Again, not a poster, but too unbelievable to leave out of this post.

Okay, first of all, it's every woman's dream to have double ovens in her kitchen, and Turquoise has GOT THAT. But let's forget about the all yellow everything for a sec, and the perfectly organized flour and sugar canisters, and the WALL-TO-WALL CARPETING? and let's talk about Turquoise's outfit. Converse sneaks and baby blue tennis socks with the little balls on the heels?!?!!

Adorbs!

And yet, sadly, like most couples, they just couldn't stand the test of time.

Doc's still got it, tho!

He's still got it.

I see you, Doc!

Speaking of "still got it," $99.99 will get you this exclusive Elena Delle Donne Fathead.

Interesting scarf collection this little girl has on her bedpost by the way. Or boy! Could be a boy!

Delle Donne also rocking the modern day knee-pad Leggersons that every person over the age of 28 thinks are absolutely ridiculous.

What is Dikembe doing here? I know Paul Westhead was an offensive-minded coach, and gave his players the freedom to operate, but he couldn't be happy that Deke was putting the ball on the floor here. Guarantee this play ended up as either a travel or a running jump hook that clanged off the backboard. Dope that this little kid is into chess, though. That is a chess board in the foreground, right? omg it's not even a real room, Ev! Who cares?!

WHAT IS THIS POSTER AND HOW DO I ACQUIRE IT?

RIP MOE CHEEKS.

How sweet is that bunk bed action?

GUARANTEE THIS KID BRINGS THE HOUSE DOWN FROM TIME TO TIME.

"Toney."

WHATEVER COACH COLLINS.

What you know about bringin da house down?!

Follow The Evster @TVMWW.

 

NHL Playoffs: Penguins fight off Lightning to force Game 7

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NHL Playoffs: Penguins fight off Lightning to force Game 7

BOX SCORE

TAMPA, Fla. -- The Pittsburgh Penguins made good on Evgeni Malkin's pledge to force Game 7 in the Eastern Conference final.

Sidney Crosby had a goal and an assist, and Phil Kessel, Kris Letang, Bryan Rust and Nick Bonino also scored Tuesday night in a 5-2 victory that evened the best-of-seven series with the Tampa Bay Lightning 3-3.

Game 7 is Thursday night, with the Penguins hoping to reach the Stanley Cup Final for the first time since 2009 and the Lightning looking to advance to the Cup Final for the second straight year.

"I just told them to embrace the moment. It's a great opportunity for us. These are the type of circumstances to where you have an opportunity to write your own story," Pittsburgh coach Mike Sullivan.

"They had a certain mindset going into this tonight: `We're going to leave it all out there and do everything we can to bring this back to Pittsburgh,'" Sullivan added. "And, certainly that's what they did."

Malkin was the most demonstrative of the players expressing confidence the Penguins could take the series back to Pittsburgh, saying he believed in himself, his teammates and that they could return home for a seventh game "for sure."

Crosby stepped up with his third game-winning goal of the series. The Penguins captain assisted on Kessel's 5-on-3 power-play goal in the opening period and later skated around Tampa Bay defenseman Anton Stralman into the clear before sending a wrist shot between goalie Andrei Vasilevskiy's legs for a 3-0 lead in the final minute of the second period.

"We know the circumstances. It makes you go out there with a mindset of playing desperate," Crosby said. "I think we had confidence in the whole group. I think everyone played great.

"Everyone contributed in their own way. In a big game like this you, don't do anything special, just do your job. I think that's gotten us this far."

Rookie goaltender Matt Murray returned to the lineup after being replaced as the starter for Game 5 by Marc-Andre Fleury, but his 10th playoff victory did not come without a bit of suspense.

Brian Boyle scored twice in the third period for Tampa Bay, with one of the goals bouncing off Kessel before getting past Murray, who finished with 28 saves. The second score drew the Lightning within one goal with 7:17 remaining.

Instead of flinching, the young goalie who turns 22 on Wednesday retained his composure down the stretch to help the Penguins avoid relinquishing a third-period lead for the second straight game.

"I just think it's part of his DNA. He has a calming influence. He doesn't get rattled if he lets a goal in. He continues to compete," Sullivan said.

"That's usually an attribute that takes years to acquire. And to have it at such a young age is impressive. I think one of his biggest strengths is just his ability to stay in the moment."

Rust's breakaway goal at 17:52 of the third gave Pittsburgh breathing room, and Bonino added an empty-netter to finish it off.

"We had a great chance tonight and just tip-toed around a little bit," Boyle said. "We were tentative and weren't aggressive."

Kessel's goal was his team-leading ninth of the playoffs. Crosby had the primary assist, his first point since delivering game-winners in Games 2 and 3, and Malkin also had an assist to extend his point streak to four games after a slow start in the series.

The Lightning had an apparent goal by Jonathan Drouin waived off a little more than five minutes into the game, when Sullivan successfully challenged that the young Tampa Bay winger was offside on the play before tapping in a rebound off Ondrej Palat's shot that bounced off Murray's pads.

Sullivan announced the decision to go back to Murray following Tuesday's morning skate.

Murray started the first four games of the series. Fleury replaced him during the third period of Game 4, then made his first start in nearly two months in Game 5, which Tampa Bay won 4-3 in overtime.

Before Game 5, Fleury had not started a game since March 31, when he suffered a concussion.

Tampa Bay entered the game determined to not come out flat in Game 6 of the conference final for the second straight year.

The Lightning beat the New York Rangers on the road to go up 3-2 in that series, but were badly outplayed at home the next game and had to return to Madison Square Garden to finish the series.

Now, they'll have to win on the road again to make the third Stanley Cup appearance in franchise history.

"I know we can. I've got confidence in this group. We believe we can do that," Tampa Bay's Ryan Callahan said. "We've had success on the road in the playoffs. We've had success in their building already. It's going to be a good one."

Notes
The Penguins were 1 for 3 on the power play and are 4 for 19 in the series. The Lightning were 0 for 1, dropping to 2 for 12. ... Malkin was penalized in the first period for slashing Tampa Bay Bay's Ryan Callahan in what appeared to be retaliation for the Lightning forward whacking him across the wrist with his stick. ... Murray improved to 4-0 following a loss. He's 10-4 overall in the playoffs.

Best of MLB: Jackie Bradley Jr. extends hitting streak to 28 games

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Best of MLB: Jackie Bradley Jr. extends hitting streak to 28 games

BOSTON -- David Price scattered five hits over seven innings and Jackie Bradley Jr. had a pair of hits to extend his streak to 28 games as the Boston Red Sox beat the Colorado Rockies 8-3 on Tuesday night.

David Ortiz had a two-run double and a two-run single, and Dustin Pedroia added three hits to help Boston win its third straight game. Price (7-1) allowed three runs, walking one and striking out six to earn his third consecutive win.

Colorado lost for the fifth time in six games.

Jorge De La Rosa (1-4) made his first start after spending almost a month on the disabled list with a left groin strain. He gave up two runs in the first, two more in the second and left with one out in the fourth with two on and one run already in (see full recap).

Polanco, Pirates crush Diamondbacks
PITTSBURGH -- Gregory Polanco hit a three-run homer and drove in a career-best five runs as the Pittsburgh Pirates rolled by the Arizona Diamondbacks 12-1 on Tuesday night.

Polanco's shot to the concourse in right-center field off Shelby Miller (1-6) in the first inning gave Pittsburgh an early boost. Francisco Liriano (4-3) scattered two hits in 5 2/3 innings and added an RBI single as the Pirates improved to 6-2 during a 10-game homestand.

After a short adjustment period, Polanco has thrived batting third in the lineup, hitting .317 (20 of 63) with three home runs and 13 RBIs in 15 games. The Pirates spread their 17 hits among 11 batters.

Miller's recent recovery from a miserable start with the Diamondbacks took a step backward. Less than a year removed from an All-Star appearance with Atlanta, Miller's ERA ballooned to 7.09 after surrendering six runs in five innings (see full recap).

Strasburg strikes out 11 in Nationals' win
WASHINGTON -- Stephen Strasburg remained unbeaten with an 11-strikeout performance, and the Washington Nationals hit three of their season-high five home runs off struggling Matt Harvey in a 7-4 victory over the New York Mets on Tuesday night.

Strasburg (8-0) gave up two runs and four hits over 6 2/3 innings in defeating Harvey and the Mets for the second time in six days. Strasburg has five games this season with at least 10 strikeouts and 26 over his seven-year career.

Harvey (3-7) stumbled through a third straight ineffective start, allowing five runs and eight hits over five rocky innings. The right-hander has yielded 16 earned runs and 31 hits over his last three outings.

Ryan Zimmerman and Anthony Rendon hit successive solo shots to put Washington ahead in the fourth inning, and Daniel Murphy added a two-run drive off his former teammate in the fifth for a 5-1 lead (see full recap).

Justin Verlander powers his way through Phillies' weak lineup

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Justin Verlander powers his way through Phillies' weak lineup

BOX SCORE

DETROIT – Back on March 26, the Detroit Tigers made the trip to Clearwater to play the Phillies during the final week of the Grapefruit League schedule.
 
Justin Verlander was the Tigers’ starting pitcher that day at Bright House Field. The Phillies ended up losing that game by a run when their bullpen came undone in the late innings. But earlier in the game, the Phils had pretty good success against Verlander. They knocked him around for three runs in five innings. They had seven hits against him, four for extra bases.
 
Two months later, the Phillies came face to face with Verlander again on a warm Tuesday night in Detroit.
 
This time, the Phils had no chance.
 
They were manhandled by the 2011 American League MVP and Cy Young Award winner in suffering a 3-1 loss to the Tigers (see Instant Replay).
 
“Verlander pitched well,” manager Pete Mackanin said. “He had a good fastball and we weren’t catching up to it.”
 
Yes, Verlander had good fastball and he knew it. Sixty-five of his 108 pitches were fastballs. He averaged 94 mph with the pitch and topped out at 97. That’s how hard his final pitch of night was. He blew it by the Phillies’ best hitter, Odubel Herrera, for his 10th strikeout of the night.
 
In all, Verlander pitched eight shutout innings and gave up just three hits against one of baseball’s worst offenses; the Phils entered the game averaging just 3.24 runs per game.
 
The loss was the Phillies’ fourth in the last five games and it dropped them to 25-21. They have opened this challenging road trip, which finishes with three against the Chicago Cubs, owners of the best record in the game, with two straight losses heading into Wednesday’s series finale against the Tigers. Aaron Nola will get the ball against Anibal Sanchez.
 
Can Nola be a stopper? The Phillies could really use a victory. To get it, they will need some offense. They got just about none until Verlander left the game Tuesday night.
 
“We just couldn’t get enough going,” Mackanin said. “Verlander really relied on his fastball and we couldn’t capitalize.”
 
Jeremy Hellickson pitched well for the third straight time for the Phillies. (He has allowed just five earned runs over 20 innings in his last three starts. He has walked just three batters and struck out 20 over that span.) But with no run support, Hellickson couldn’t afford to make any mistakes and he needed excellent defensive support – which he did not get.
 
Hellickson served up a down-the-middle fastball to Miguel Cabrera in the first inning and Cabrera swatted it for an RBI double. He has four RBIs in the first two games against the Phillies.
 
In the third inning, Hellickson struck Cabrera out on a nasty changeup for the third out. The pitch was so good that Cabrera flashed Hellickson a thumbs-up before spiking his helmet to the ground.
 
Hellickson’s changeup has been very good lately.
 
“I really feel comfortable with it right now and I’m throwing it for a lot of strikes,” he said.
 
In a close game with not much offense going against Verlander, Hellickson needed strong defense behind him. He did not get it from third baseman Maikel Franco in the fifth inning. With a runner on first and no outs, J.D. Martinez hit a bounding ball to Franco’s right. Franco tried to backhand the ball with a quick snap of his glove. Fielded cleanly, Franco probably could have started a double play. Instead, the ball got by him, was generously scored a double and led to a run. The Tigers scored twice in the inning to take a 3-1 lead.
 
“Yes, it’s makeable,” Mackanin said of the ball that got by Franco. “He got to a certain spot and then he stopped and tried to snag it instead of taking one more step toward it. I don’t think he could have gotten in front of the ball but he could have gone through it instead of stopping and trying to snag it. I thought he could have done that.
 
“It’s a potential double-play ball. He needed to take one more step instead of reaching for it.”
 
Tommy Joseph had the best at-bats against Verlander. He lined out twice to the pull side and had a base hit in the seventh. In the ninth, the Phillies rallied for a couple of hits against Francisco Rodriguez. Joseph scorched a liner to left for a sacrifice fly and the Phillies’ only run.
 
“He hit the ball on the nose four times, really good at bats,” Mackanin said of Joseph. “If that ball he hits in the ninth inning finds a gap, we have the tying run at second.”
 
Joseph has seven hits in his first 23 at-bats and has made some hard outs. He will start at first base again Wednesday and also on Friday as the Cubs will start lefty Jon Lester. After that, he could get starts against right-handers because he’s simply out-hitting Ryan Howard, who went 1 for 4 and saw his average climb to .159.
 
Before the game, Mackanin said Joseph could take playing time away from Howard if he continues to hit.