The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

The Evster finds the best Sixers posters EVER

Here's a sneak peek into how things work at The 700 Levvy: Every Thursday afternoon, I email Enrico telling him I have NO IDEA what I'm gonna write about for this week's post and every week he responds by saying "ummmm" and "durrrrrrr" and "I don't know what you should write about either." Then, after some lousy ideas are tossed back and forth, he gives up and just tells me to do whatever I want because "life is meaningless and who cares." Then I write some garbage, click "publish" and get paid ACTUAL AMERICAN CURRENCY by Comcast.

This Thursday was no different. I had nothin. So I looked out my office window, searching for some sort of inspirashe, and realized this week's post was staring me right in the face.

And then I thought, "Ehh, whatever, enough has been written about D-Jax this week. What if I just searched the internet for some really cool posters?"

BOOM BABY.

So here we are!

I scoured the internet, uncovered some gems, and am ready to take you on a trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, I found WAY TOO MANY posters for just one post. So Ron Hextall and Reggie White and MICKEY MORANDINI will have to wait. This week, in honor of the shittiest basketball team to ever walk the planet, I'm highlighting Sixers posters ONLY. If this post is well received (meaning if Enrico doesn't get fired), I'll do another jawn later in the year featuring Phillies, Eagles and Flurbers posters.

But for now, just scroll down and enjoy the best five minutes of your stupid, meaningless week.

Obviously everything about this poster is amazing. From the shards of glass under Darryl's sneaks to his high waisted shorts -- which are currently back in style! -- this poster is incredible. I mean, Darryl's shorts are basically covering his ENTIRE belly button (which is surprisingly VERY smooth). In fact, all of Darryl is smooth. He's like the smoothest, chocolateiest man. No wonder his nickname was Chocolate Smooth Man.

Also notice that Darryl's left sock is slightly rolled down at the top (a very popular style among soccer players circa 1989) and you can totally see his dork pressed against the front of his shorts (which I find to be a nice touch).

Probably the best poster ever.

I mean, let's be honest here, this is probably the BEST. POSTER. EVER. Can you imagine the photographer sitting down with big Mo before this photo shoot?

"Uh, yeah, Moses, so we were thinking of having you stand in the middle of the Red Sea, like you had just parted it, but instead of goats and Israelites and lepers behind you, we'll just have a bunch of basketballs. Like, sticking out of the sand. And seashells. And starfish. Maybe like, two starfish."

"I wear red shorts."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can wear your red shorts."

"Red shirt, too."

"Perfect. Perfect, Moses. That'll be just perfs. How 'bout a robe? Would you wear a robe?"

Moses walks away while eating an entire baked potato.

Just your standard Nike poster with Moses and Charles wearing trash bags as shirts. No big deal. Just Hefty Glad Bags, cut up, and draped over two of the best rebounders in NBA history. How does this fit in with Nike's Air Force brand? And is Chuck also wearing a mock trash bag turtleneck? Either way, no two men have ever looked scarier. I would not challenge these guys to a take-out-the-trash contest let alone a game of 2-on-2. Actually, are those ponchos? I think they might be ponchos. That makes a little more sense, what with the mist and all, and the ponchos make these guys a bit more approachable. BUT WHY IS IT SO MISTY? This poster should be called MIST FORCE.

Here's an amazing non-misty Moses Malone Nike commercial from back in the day (with French subtitles).

Here's more Moses, together with (left to right) Michael Cooper (amazzzzzziiiinnnggggg hat by the way), Moses (all business), Calvin Natt (sorry, who?), Jamaal Wilkes (aka Mississippi Slim), BOBBY JONES (represent, represent-zent!) and Mychal Thompson (born in the Bahamas!) as part of Nike's original Air Force 1 campaign back in 1982.

A few years ago, for Air Force 1's 25-year anniversary, Nike actually re-released this poster and started selling DOLLS of all six of these Air Force 1 dudes ($150 for the set).

Just dolls with little hats and jumpsuits and basketballs.

Not that cute.

Not that incredible.

Just the $150.

Here's Mo Mo:

YO TRY TO STEP TO THAT MOSES DOLL AND SEE WHAT HAPPS.

The nameplate on his little jacket says "Malone."

This is an unbelievable world we live in.

THIS GUY WILL TAKE CHARGES ALL NIGHT LONG.

His belt is tied so tight, too!

Accentuate those curves, right Bobby?!

I know that Wes Anderson sights people like Orson Welles and François Truffaut as his influences, but I kinda feel like he had this Bobby Jones poster hanging up in his room growing up. Look at the attention to detail here: the Nike carpet, the Nike flag, the little basketballs on top of the flag posts, the globe on his desk that's actually a basketball, THE THREE PIECE SUIT.

So Wes Anderson!

It's disappointing that this Charles poster is not as dope as the other Costacos posters from its era, but it's still nice in its simplicity. It's also incredible to see how fit Charles was back then. I mean, he's not skinny, but he's kinda skinny. Those shorts honestly look so comfortable. Here's the best Charles Barkley video ever made.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/oJuINS6WZyA width=620 height=465]

"Nights of Thunder" is so stupid, but also so amazing. Tom Cruise is honestly such a dork. Those Nike Flights that Chuck wore during the 1990 playoffs though were maybe my favorite sneaks ever.

I have so many questions about this poster.

1. Like, what is Charles Oakley doing in the background? Who is he guarding? And why isn't he playing any help D? I think he's just leaking out for a fast break THAT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPS, Oak! Thump and Bizzump!

2. Did Rick Mahorn really need that elbow pad? I mean, what did that thing do? And why was it made of leather?

3. Patrick Ewing's knee pads (with those weird leather thingies underneath) were always so ridiculous and sad. He was such a beast back at Georgetown, but those knee pads, ugh. Look how much cooler Rick Mahorn's bare knees look that Pat's volleyball jawns.

I realize #3 wasn't even a question, but #2 had like nine questions in one question. So...

Stackhouse ALSO rocking the weird, leather knee sleeve! Was orthopedic medicine really that lame 20 years ago? How does that help your performance? I imagine it made your knees so sweaty.

These Sixers unis remain my all-time faves.

Also, and this could be the most fascinating thing in this entire post, I'm 95% sure that #24 on the Raptors is former Fab Fiver, Jimmy King.

Congratulations. You have made it down to BY FAR the dopest part of the this post... the Dr. J section. While I was doing research for this post (i.e. googling stuff and googling stuff and googling stuff), I got sidetracked for around three hours just checking out old pics, posters and girlfriends of Doc. This Converse ad above is only the appetizer. The rest is a goddamn Doctor J gold mine.

What is this even an ad for? Spalding basketballs? The brand in general? What else does Spalding even make? Soup? Spaulding get your foot off the boat!

Also, check out the dude in the bottom righthand corner. What is he trying to do? Is he trying to block Doc's shot? Did he even jump? Spaulding! Get dressed you're playing golf.

No I'm not, Grampa. I'm playing tennis.

My favorite part is the ref if the background T'ing Doc up.

WHATEVER, REF!

YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING AND LIKE IT.

So silky.

Do they even make socks like that anymore?

Also, check out that dude up in the front row of the second level going absolutely bonkers.

TUCKED IN SHIRT!

This is not a poster, but photoshop a Converse logo in the corner and boom, hang it in your living room. For real though, I've never seen anyone but Doc just grip the ball behind his head like that and RAM. And how 'bout that Brazilian soccer-player-looking-dude standing at half court? Is he wearing jean shorts? With a belt? And business socks?

You can just imagine the explosion of "Ohhhhhhs!!!" that came from the crowd after Doc brought the house down here. For the record, when I was around 25 years old, I had sex with a 36-year-old lady and my roommates told me we "brought the house down." To this day it remains the greatest compliment I've ever received. Pretty sure the guy behind Doc here has his shoelaces tied together.

This picture is so freaking awesome I can't handle it.

Let's take a break and watch an old Doc Converse commersh to calm us all down.

[nbcsports_video src=//www.youtube.com/embed/tAoDIJAhC64 width=620 height=465]

Again, not a poster, but too unbelievable to leave out of this post.

Okay, first of all, it's every woman's dream to have double ovens in her kitchen, and Turquoise has GOT THAT. But let's forget about the all yellow everything for a sec, and the perfectly organized flour and sugar canisters, and the WALL-TO-WALL CARPETING? and let's talk about Turquoise's outfit. Converse sneaks and baby blue tennis socks with the little balls on the heels?!?!!

Adorbs!

And yet, sadly, like most couples, they just couldn't stand the test of time.

Doc's still got it, tho!

He's still got it.

I see you, Doc!

Speaking of "still got it," $99.99 will get you this exclusive Elena Delle Donne Fathead.

Interesting scarf collection this little girl has on her bedpost by the way. Or boy! Could be a boy!

Delle Donne also rocking the modern day knee-pad Leggersons that every person over the age of 28 thinks are absolutely ridiculous.

What is Dikembe doing here? I know Paul Westhead was an offensive-minded coach, and gave his players the freedom to operate, but he couldn't be happy that Deke was putting the ball on the floor here. Guarantee this play ended up as either a travel or a running jump hook that clanged off the backboard. Dope that this little kid is into chess, though. That is a chess board in the foreground, right? omg it's not even a real room, Ev! Who cares?!

WHAT IS THIS POSTER AND HOW DO I ACQUIRE IT?

RIP MOE CHEEKS.

How sweet is that bunk bed action?

GUARANTEE THIS KID BRINGS THE HOUSE DOWN FROM TIME TO TIME.

"Toney."

WHATEVER COACH COLLINS.

What you know about bringin da house down?!

Follow The Evster @TVMWW.

 

Frank Reich learning from Doug Pederson, adjusting to new system with Eagles

Frank Reich learning from Doug Pederson, adjusting to new system with Eagles

Despite rain forcing the Eagles’ first full-squad practice of training camp inside, new offensive coordinator Frank Reich liked what he saw out of his offense.
 
Speaking to reporters after practice at the NovaCare Complex on Thursday, Reich was pleased with how the offense’s preparation off the field translated during practice.
 
“Overall, what we’re happy about is how you take it from the meeting room to the field and minimize the errors. Make plays that are there,” Reich said. “There were very few mental errors. [The offense] looked sharp today.”
 
Before coming to Philadelphia this offseason, Reich spent the past two seasons as the Chargers’ offensive coordinator.
 
Joining a new coaching staff means learning a new system, and Reich has noticed some unique aspects of head coach Doug Pederson’s offensive attack.
 
“This West Coast-hybrid system obviously has a very long winning track record,” Reich said. “How it’s adapted in the run game now with some of the zone-read stuff and all the different ways you can scheme wide receiver throws, when you get a heavy box, I think that’s what Doug did really well in Kansas City.
 
“Of course, I went up against it six times in three years playing against that team (with the Chargers), so I saw it firsthand,” Reich said. “It’s fun now to be on the other side of that.”
 
Now working alongside Pederson, Reich thinks what the Eagles were able to do this offseason to build a talented roster was huge for what they’re trying to accomplish.
 
“Every time we had a chance to get something done from a personnel standpoint, we got it done," Reich said. "So that fires you up as a coach."

One of those moves was trading up to draft quarterback Carson Wentz with the second overall pick in April’s draft. Although he was running the third-team offense Thursday (see Day 4 notes), Wentz stood out, making some good throws and ending the day with a deep completion across the field.
 
Reich took notice and was encouraged by the rookie’s performance, but he and the rest of the Eagles’ coaching staff are focused on the team as a whole as opposed to just one player.
 
“We’re eager to see how we develop as a team first and foremost, and certainly that’s going to include great individual performances and days,” Reich said.
 
With a new coaching staff in place, Reich isn’t the only one adjusting to a new situation. Starting quarterback Sam Bradford, who had to learn former head coach Chip Kelly’s system last season, is getting used to Pederson’s offense this time around.
 
“I’ve seen a lot of football, I’ve seen a lot of different systems,” Bradford said after practice Thursday. “Obviously, this one’s new. It’s different, but I think there’s some carryover from some past systems that I’ve been in, so it’s nice to know that everything isn’t brand new and there are some things that are familiar.”
 
Bradford and Wentz are adapting together to the Eagles' new offense. Fellow quarterback Chase Daniel is more familiar with it, having studied and played in Pederson’s offense with the Chiefs. But Reich knows it’s been a learning process for the Eagles’ quarterback group.
 
“The guys have learned it real fast, they’ve studied it hard and they feed off of each other. They challenge each other,” he said. “I give them a lot of credit, they’ve picked it up very quickly.”
 
In terms of fulfilling his own role as a coach on Pederson’s staff, Reich is dedicated to going along with how Pederson runs the team.
 
“You commit yourself to whatever way the head coach wants to do it,” Reich said. “It’s been a really good thing for me as a coach learning from him.”

Jon Dorenbos far more than just Eagles' long snapper

Jon Dorenbos far more than just Eagles' long snapper

Most long snappers in the NFL are pretty anonymous.

Mike Bartrum spent seven years at that position for the Eagles with very little fanfare.

Over the last few weeks, Jon Dorenbos has turned himself into something much more than a football player, let alone a long snapper. Dorenbos is now a celebrity.

Thanks to a successful stint on the NBC show America's Got Talent, Dorenbos has shown off his ability as a magician. With another mind-blowing trick on Tuesday night's show, it was announced on Wednesday's results show that Dorenbos has made it to the semifinals. 

With each passing stage, Dorenbos gets closer to the $1 million grand prize — but not without a few anxious moments.

"It's a waiting game," Dorenbos said Thursday of the judges determining his fate. "Because it's a variety show there's a lot of completely different acts. I think the important thing is, at least for me, is don't try to compete with them. Be who you are and focus more on what makes you unique and what makes you interesting and try and highlight that and then hopefully the act follows."

A big part of what makes Dorenbos unique is his tragic back story. When Dornebos was 12, his father killed his mother at the family's home in Seattle. Dorenbos was left with a lot of confusion, but channeled that into something positive.

Magic has been a big part of his life since he was 16. He's used it to help himself heal and he hopes it has done the same for others. He's shared his story of success through tragedy with kids who have been through similar situations.

"At first when I was a rookie and I was young, it was a little awkward for me," Dorenbos said of sharing his story.

"You eventually start seeing that you're not alone and we're all in this together and if we just kind of help each other out and share our experiences and how we got through stuff and you can help, maybe that's why I was put here. I can share my message through the way I perform. If that's the case then it's pretty cool, man. That's a big responsibility and a big honor."

People have constantly asked Dornebos how he manages to balance his newfound celebrity magician status with his day job of being a professional football player. When you put it in perspective, it's really not that difficult considering what he's been through.

Then again, with this training camp comes something the two-time Pro Bowler has never truly experienced with the Eagles: Competition. The team brought in undrafted rookie free-agent long snapper John DePalma out of West Virginia.

Whether it's on the gridiron or on the stage, Dorenbos doesn't sweat the competition.

"I don't really worry about [the competition]. I don't really care," Dorenbos said. "And it's in the most respectful way possible and I want everybody to have success and I want everybody to do well but if I worry about other people, then all of the sudden I'm not worried about myself. If you worry too much about other people and you don't handle your own business, then it's a missed opportunity on your own stupidity."

When it comes to scheduling conflicts, that's another thing Dorenbos doesn't really worry about. He knows his teammates are in his corner. 

Head coach Doug Pederson had the team watch his latest trick on Tuesday night. Some of his teammates shared pictures of the Eagles watching Dorenbos. He was genuinely appreciative of their support, saying he doesn't "think anything feels better than when you get the respect of your teammates."

As for America's Got Talent, Dorenbos doesn't know how long the ride will last, but he's enjoying it. Just like his football career, he's leaving it all out there and not leaving a single trick up his sleeve.

"To me, you gotta let it ride and worry about the next one later," he said, "because if you save it, then what's the point?"

Darren Sproles signs 1-year extension with Eagles

Darren Sproles signs 1-year extension with Eagles

The Eagles signed veteran running back and punt returner Darren Sproles to a one-year contract extension Friday morning.

Terms of the deal were not made immediately available by the team, but NFL Network's Ian Rapoport reports the deal is for $4.5 million. That would represent a $1 million raise from the $3.5 million base salary Sproles was set to earn in 2016. Rapoport also reports that the Eagles have moved money from the extension into this season. 

Sproles, a Pro Bowler in each of his two seasons with the Eagles, is now signed through 2017. He was due to become a free agent after this season.

Sproles skipped the Eagles’ voluntary organized offseason workouts and the given reason was to spend more time with his family in San Diego. But Sproles’ contract status certainly could have played a role in his reason to stay away.

Sproles, 33, is tied for seventh in NFL history with Dave Meggett with seven career punt returns for touchdowns.

After five years with the Chargers and three with the Saints, he has enjoyed a career resurgence with the Eagles, making his first two Pro Bowl teams and becoming only the second player in NFL history with four or more punt return TDs after his 30th birthday. The other is Hall of Famer Deion Sanders.

In his career, Sproles has 2,867 rushing yards and 20 touchdowns with a 5.0 average rushing and 473 receptions for 4,156 yards and 28 more touchdowns.

With 133 more rushing yards and 27 more receptions, Sproles will become only the 12th player in NFL history with 3,000 rushing yards and 500 receptions.

Sproles' 5.0 career rushing average is 14th-highest in NFL history among non-quarterbacks with at least 500 rushing attempts.

In two seasons with the Eagles, he has 646 rushing yards and 95 receptions, although his 3.8 rushing average last year was well below his career average.

He has two punt return TDs in each of his seasons with the Eagles and is one of only seven NFL players in history with consecutive seasons with multiple punt return touchdowns.

Sproles entered the league as the Chargers’ fourth-round draft pick in 2005. The Eagles acquired him – or stole him – from the Saints in March 2014 in exchange for a fifth-round pick.

That pick turned out to be Ronald Powell, a linebacker who played in just 14 career games and is not currently in the league.