The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City.

Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He's rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that's right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it's really no surprise that he also has a super-hot, sweaty white woman walking alongside him.

Unfortunately for you, you're not this cool. No one is. But that's okay. By simply shutting up for five minutes and reading this post, I'll help you find a few things to spice up your summer wardrobe. Then you too can have a somewhat attractive, majorly sweaty white woman to stroll down the street with.

So without wasting anymore time, let's move on with this post because quite frankly I have no idea if it's legal to take a picture of a person walking down the street and then post it on the internet so seriously let's just move on, please scroll down, c'mon keep reading, let's go let's go let's go, there's no way that's legal, no way, no way, no way.

NBA Legend Socks, by Stance

Most likely, if you are reading a Philadelphia sports blog to get fashion advice, then you are in need of some serious serious help. You also probably work in some dumb office where they make you tuck your lame short-sleeved collared shirt into some stupid khakis, and every time you sit down in a meeting the outline of your balls is visible to pretty much everyone in your office, including all the cute interns, and no one wants to see that, man, no one. I know it makes you feel like a MANLY MAN, but it's not helping you, at all. But these socks -- these NBA legends socks -- these can help.

Socks are really the only way for a stupid person like you to put any pizzazz into his outfit. Instead of making people gag in meetings, simply cross your legs, show off these bad boys and you'll find the interns will be sending you selfies in no time. Did you see these jawns?! They're incredible! Besides offering Big Game James, Doc and Ewing, they also come in pairs of Hakeem Olajuwon (DREAM SOCKS!), Kenny Smith (I KNOW!), Larry Legend (whatever), Bill Walton (CURRENTLY SOLD OUT), The Worm (that's Dennis Rodman) and wait for it, here it comes, this is the big bopper, Karl Malone on one foot and John Stockton on the otherrrrrrr!!!

The only problem is they cost $16 (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD), so you might have to get someone else to buy them for you. My wife bought me the Ewings (she's a Knicks fan) and she couldn't be more excited for me to have them. As I'm typing this, she's literally trying to tear my pants off. These are the greatest socks in the world.

Where can you get 'em? Ubiq, 1509 Walnut Street -- don't be scared to go in there. It's not that cool. It's just a store. Calm down. You can also get 'em on Stance's website, which apparently is a thing.

Mitchell and Ness Hardwood Classics Caricature T-shirts

Do you hear that sound? Do you hear that? Turn the speakers down on your computer and listen closely: that's the sound of a thousand men popping a thousand boners.

NBA Caricature T-shirts (aka the Greatest Shirts in the History of Western Civilization) are back, baby! Besides the Iverson jawn above (and check it out, look what he's doing, he's cupping his ear to listen to the crowd!), they also have Shawn Kemp, Magic, Bird, Hakeem, LARRY JOHNSON WITH THE GOLD TOOTH, Dr. J and Shaq Daddy.

Where can you get 'em? store.NBA.com or Mitchell and Ness.com -- but Mitchell and Ness secretly has a couple Dennis Rodmans on their sale rack for only 20 bucks. The price of these is outrageous ($39.95?!?!), but still, it's a lot better than your Phillies Chooch shirt you've been wearing every Saturday for the past three years I mean c'mon my niece also has that shirt, dude, I mean seriously.

Zaire Leopards Futbol T-shirt

The story behind this shirt is that the Zaire national team (nicknamed the Leopards) made an unbelievable run in the 1974 World Cup, but honestly who cares it's a leopard playing soccer and that's good enough for me. This could be the dopest shirt of all time. Did you see the leopard playing soccer?!?! My wife also bought this for me (AM I MARRIED TO THE GREATEST WOMAN EVER OR WHAT?) and the first time I wore it I got around 7 different compliments (and then got mustard on the sleeve). Regardless, amazing shirt, soccer is cool, leopards kill people, and according to my wife, cream-colored clothing goes perfectly with pretty much all skin complexions.

Where can you get one? I'm not telling you. I want to be the only one in Philadelphia wearing one. I'm sorry. (Not sorry.)

Bille Jean King - Pressure is a Privilege T-shirt

This is another shirt that I own (apparently this is just a blogpost to talk about my wardrobe), but I never wear it because it's too tight and armpit sweat stains show way too easily in grey t-shirts.

Where can you get something like it, because obviously you're not gonna wear a BJK shirt? Homage.com -- most of their t-shirts are dumb, but they do have a couple jawns that are fantastic, like this Bernie Kosar, an Ickey Woods jawn that says "Do the Ickey Shuffle", Chris Sabo (or "Chris Sabo to Drugs" as my friend Law calls him), and now that I think about it, this might be some sort of Ohio website. Whatever, I'm down with Ohio. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony? They're cool. Bone bone bone bone bone, bone bone ...

Mitchell and Ness Neon Sonics Hat

Honestly you're not cool enough to wear this, I just wanted to post it because OMG NEON SONICS HAT?!?!

New Balance 574

Dude! Don't listen to people who tell you you're not cool enough to wear stuff! Just wear stuff! I own a Billie Jean King t-shirt for cryin' out loud. WHO CARESSSSS???!!? Stop being a wimp and get yourself some dope kicks. That's what's summer is all about. They don't even have to be turquoise. Ughghghghh, and throw away those khakis. No human being should ever wear khakis! I don't care how well they go with your complexion!

Where can you get 'em? Any sneaker shop downtown, stupid. Just go get some new kicks. There's honestly like 400 sneaker shops on Chestnut street and nothing makes you feel better in this world than new sneaks. FACT!

EXCEPT FOR PATRICK EWING SOCKS!!!!!!!

The Evster writes the blog TV My Wife Watches where he writes about TV his wife watches. He also became The 700 Level's resident fashion expert after he wrote this post in January about making your own jerseys. Follow him on Twitter @TVMWW. Or don't. Doesn't matter. Who cares?

Best of NHL: Lee scores 2 power-play goals, Islanders beat Kings

Best of NHL: Lee scores 2 power-play goals, Islanders beat Kings

NEW YORK -- The New York Islanders are on quite a nice roll.

Anders Lee scored two power-play goals to lead the Islanders to a 4-2 victory over the Los Angeles Kings on Saturday night, giving New York its third straight win and fourth in the last five games.

"We've been keeping it simple of late," said Lee, who has four goals in two games against the Kings this season. "We've been getting shots on net and being more effective. I'll do my thing down low."

John Tavares had a goal and an assist, Jason Chimera also scored and Jean-Francois Berube stopped 34 shots to earn his first win in his third start of the season (see full recap).

Hartnell snaps tie as Blue Jackets beat Carolina 3-2
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- The Blue Jackets would just as soon forget the second period of Saturday's game, when the Carolina Hurricanes rallied from a 2-0 deficit to tie it.

Columbus didn't play much better in the third but withstood 15 shots and killed three penalties. Midway through, Scott Hartnell scored his second goal of the game , and the Blue Jackets beat Carolina 3-2.

Columbus got the win despite being outshot 37-20.

Hartnell scored in the first period and then netted the tiebreaker, helping the Blue Jackets overcome a horrendous second period - in which they managed only two shots on goal - to beat Carolina for the second time this week (see full recap).

Beagle scores in overtime, Capitals beat Stars 4-3
DALLAS -- Jay Beagle scored 19 seconds into overtime and the Washington Capitals rallied to beat the Dallas Stars 4-3 on Saturday night.

Evgeny Kuznetsov skated behind the net and put the puck in front to Beagle. His wrist shot beat goalie Kari Lehtonen, who got tangled with a defender and lost his footing.

The Stars led 3-1 and didn't allow Washington a power play until the third period, but then Alex Ovechkin and T.J. Oshie scored with the man advantage in the first 5:26 of the period.

Adam Cracknell and Jamie Benn scored for Dallas on plays that originally were ruled no goal. Patrick Eaves had a goal and an assist for the Stars (see full recap).

Bogosian scores in overtime, Sabres edge Canadiens 3-2
MONTREAL -- The Sabres couldn't score from in close on All-Star goalie Carey Price late in regulation Saturday night.

So Zach Bogosian teed it up from a ways out in overtime to lift Buffalo.

Bogosian scored his first goal of the season in overtime and the Sabres beat the Montreal Canadiens 3-2 in the second game of a back-to-back for both teams.

Buffalo nearly broke through against Price near the end of the third period. Price made a pad save on Matt Moulson on a breakaway at 19:40, and then with six seconds remaining, he robbed Rasmus Ristolainen with a windmill glove save (see full recap).

 

Best of NBA: Kawhi Leonard scores 41, Spurs down Cavaliers in OT

Best of NBA: Kawhi Leonard scores 41, Spurs down Cavaliers in OT

CLEVELAND -- Kawhi Leonard scored a career-high 41 points, LaMarcus Aldridge had 16 points and 12 rebounds, and the San Antonio Spurs beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 118-115 in overtime on Saturday night despite missing starters Tony Parker and Pau Gasol.

Leonard scored six in OT, including a game-sealing dunk with 4.9 seconds left, as the Spurs regrouped after a late collapse in regulation.

David Lee, making a rare start in place of the injured Gasol, added 14 points as San Antonio improved to 18-4 on the road.

LeBron James and Kyrie Irving scored 29 apiece for the Cavs, who had the last shot in regulation and had plenty of opportunities in the extra five minutes. Cleveland still had a chance to tie it in the final second of overtime, but Kevin Love missed a 3-pointer (see full recap).

Lillard, McCollum carry Portland to OT win over Boston
BOSTON -- Damian Lillard had a three-point play with 47 seconds left in overtime and finished with 28 points to lift the Portland Trail Blazers to a 127-123 victory over the Boston Celtics on Saturday night, snapping their four-game losing streak.

CJ McCollum scored 35 points to lead Portland, which lost in the closing seconds in Philadelphia on Friday night. Lillard added seven assists.

Isaiah Thomas led Boston with 41 points, his 14th time this season with 30 or more points. Marcus Smart and Al Horford each scored 17 for the Celtics, who have lost two straight after winning 13 of 16.

Thomas nailed a go-ahead 3-pointer with 1:24 to play in OT, pushing Boston ahead by one, but Al-Farouq Aminu was fouled on the next possession and hit both free throws to move Portland back in front.

Lillard then drove the lane, was fouled and hit the free throw. Mason Plumlee had a short jumper in the lane and a free throw in the closing 24 seconds (see full recap).

Booker scores 26 as Suns edge Knicks 107-105
NEW YORK -- Devin Booker scored 26 points and made a go-ahead 3-pointer with 31 seconds left, and the Phoenix Suns beat the New York Knicks 107-105 on Saturday night.

Carmelo Anthony's attempt at a winning 3-pointer rimmed out as Phoenix snapped a two-game losing streak and handed New York its second loss in a row.

Eric Bledsoe added 23 points for the Suns, while P.J. Tucker and Marquese Chriss each had 15.

Anthony led the Knicks with 31 points, Derrick Rose had 26 and Kristaps Porzingis scored 14 (see full recap).

Dekker scores career-best 30 leading Rockets past Grizzlies
MEMPHIS, Tenn. -- Sam Dekker scored a career-high 30 points, James Harden added 29 points and 10 assists and the Houston Rockets leaned on their usual 3-point offense to beat the Memphis Grizzlies 119-95 on Saturday night.

Eric Gordon added 21 points as the Rockets built the lead to as many as 20 in the fourth quarter before easily coasting home.

Dekker, making his first career start in place of the ill Ryan Anderson, made 12 of 19 shots, including 6 of 11 from outside the arc. Houston shot 51 percent overall and 38 percent from distance.

Marc Gasol scored 32 points and Mike Conley added 15 for the Grizzlies, who lost for the third time in the last four.

Memphis struggled shooting the entire night, finishing at 37 percent and unsuccessfully tried to follow the Rockets' long-range attack but converted only 9 of 34 from outside the arc (see full recap).