The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City.

Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He's rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that's right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it's really no surprise that he also has a super-hot, sweaty white woman walking alongside him.

Unfortunately for you, you're not this cool. No one is. But that's okay. By simply shutting up for five minutes and reading this post, I'll help you find a few things to spice up your summer wardrobe. Then you too can have a somewhat attractive, majorly sweaty white woman to stroll down the street with.

So without wasting anymore time, let's move on with this post because quite frankly I have no idea if it's legal to take a picture of a person walking down the street and then post it on the internet so seriously let's just move on, please scroll down, c'mon keep reading, let's go let's go let's go, there's no way that's legal, no way, no way, no way.

NBA Legend Socks, by Stance

Most likely, if you are reading a Philadelphia sports blog to get fashion advice, then you are in need of some serious serious help. You also probably work in some dumb office where they make you tuck your lame short-sleeved collared shirt into some stupid khakis, and every time you sit down in a meeting the outline of your balls is visible to pretty much everyone in your office, including all the cute interns, and no one wants to see that, man, no one. I know it makes you feel like a MANLY MAN, but it's not helping you, at all. But these socks -- these NBA legends socks -- these can help.

Socks are really the only way for a stupid person like you to put any pizzazz into his outfit. Instead of making people gag in meetings, simply cross your legs, show off these bad boys and you'll find the interns will be sending you selfies in no time. Did you see these jawns?! They're incredible! Besides offering Big Game James, Doc and Ewing, they also come in pairs of Hakeem Olajuwon (DREAM SOCKS!), Kenny Smith (I KNOW!), Larry Legend (whatever), Bill Walton (CURRENTLY SOLD OUT), The Worm (that's Dennis Rodman) and wait for it, here it comes, this is the big bopper, Karl Malone on one foot and John Stockton on the otherrrrrrr!!!

The only problem is they cost $16 (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD), so you might have to get someone else to buy them for you. My wife bought me the Ewings (she's a Knicks fan) and she couldn't be more excited for me to have them. As I'm typing this, she's literally trying to tear my pants off. These are the greatest socks in the world.

Where can you get 'em? Ubiq, 1509 Walnut Street -- don't be scared to go in there. It's not that cool. It's just a store. Calm down. You can also get 'em on Stance's website, which apparently is a thing.

Mitchell and Ness Hardwood Classics Caricature T-shirts

Do you hear that sound? Do you hear that? Turn the speakers down on your computer and listen closely: that's the sound of a thousand men popping a thousand boners.

NBA Caricature T-shirts (aka the Greatest Shirts in the History of Western Civilization) are back, baby! Besides the Iverson jawn above (and check it out, look what he's doing, he's cupping his ear to listen to the crowd!), they also have Shawn Kemp, Magic, Bird, Hakeem, LARRY JOHNSON WITH THE GOLD TOOTH, Dr. J and Shaq Daddy.

Where can you get 'em? store.NBA.com or Mitchell and Ness.com -- but Mitchell and Ness secretly has a couple Dennis Rodmans on their sale rack for only 20 bucks. The price of these is outrageous ($39.95?!?!), but still, it's a lot better than your Phillies Chooch shirt you've been wearing every Saturday for the past three years I mean c'mon my niece also has that shirt, dude, I mean seriously.

Zaire Leopards Futbol T-shirt

The story behind this shirt is that the Zaire national team (nicknamed the Leopards) made an unbelievable run in the 1974 World Cup, but honestly who cares it's a leopard playing soccer and that's good enough for me. This could be the dopest shirt of all time. Did you see the leopard playing soccer?!?! My wife also bought this for me (AM I MARRIED TO THE GREATEST WOMAN EVER OR WHAT?) and the first time I wore it I got around 7 different compliments (and then got mustard on the sleeve). Regardless, amazing shirt, soccer is cool, leopards kill people, and according to my wife, cream-colored clothing goes perfectly with pretty much all skin complexions.

Where can you get one? I'm not telling you. I want to be the only one in Philadelphia wearing one. I'm sorry. (Not sorry.)

Bille Jean King - Pressure is a Privilege T-shirt

This is another shirt that I own (apparently this is just a blogpost to talk about my wardrobe), but I never wear it because it's too tight and armpit sweat stains show way too easily in grey t-shirts.

Where can you get something like it, because obviously you're not gonna wear a BJK shirt? Homage.com -- most of their t-shirts are dumb, but they do have a couple jawns that are fantastic, like this Bernie Kosar, an Ickey Woods jawn that says "Do the Ickey Shuffle", Chris Sabo (or "Chris Sabo to Drugs" as my friend Law calls him), and now that I think about it, this might be some sort of Ohio website. Whatever, I'm down with Ohio. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony? They're cool. Bone bone bone bone bone, bone bone ...

Mitchell and Ness Neon Sonics Hat

Honestly you're not cool enough to wear this, I just wanted to post it because OMG NEON SONICS HAT?!?!

New Balance 574

Dude! Don't listen to people who tell you you're not cool enough to wear stuff! Just wear stuff! I own a Billie Jean King t-shirt for cryin' out loud. WHO CARESSSSS???!!? Stop being a wimp and get yourself some dope kicks. That's what's summer is all about. They don't even have to be turquoise. Ughghghghh, and throw away those khakis. No human being should ever wear khakis! I don't care how well they go with your complexion!

Where can you get 'em? Any sneaker shop downtown, stupid. Just go get some new kicks. There's honestly like 400 sneaker shops on Chestnut street and nothing makes you feel better in this world than new sneaks. FACT!

EXCEPT FOR PATRICK EWING SOCKS!!!!!!!

The Evster writes the blog TV My Wife Watches where he writes about TV his wife watches. He also became The 700 Level's resident fashion expert after he wrote this post in January about making your own jerseys. Follow him on Twitter @TVMWW. Or don't. Doesn't matter. Who cares?

Watch: Pokemon players ignore Phillies game to catch 'em all

Watch: Pokemon players ignore Phillies game to catch 'em all

The700Level Show's video gurus (nerds) took a trip over to Citizens Bank Park last week when the Phillies were promoting Pokemon Go lures at all of the PokeStops inside of the stadium. 

Some random quotes from the Pokemon fans, in their own words:

"There's like a million lures right now, so I might not actually sit down. I might just walk laps so I can catch like a million Pokemon."

"I'm kind of fighting the urge to walk around the stadium instead of watch the game right now."

"My egg just hatched."

"I'll be playing Pokemon Go at Wawa."

"People are like, 'get a life!'"

"I walked directly into a car, that was interesting."

"Constant loss of my dignity for being an adult and playing a children's game."

There you have it. Catch 'em all!

NFL clears Peyton Manning of HGH allegations

NFL clears Peyton Manning of HGH allegations

NEW YORK -- The NFL says it found no credible evidence that Peyton Manning was provided with HGH or other prohibited substances as alleged in a documentary by Al-Jazeera America last fall.

The league said the quarterback and his wife fully cooperated in the seven-month investigation, providing interviews and access to all records sought by investigators. Manning vehemently denied the allegations when they were made late in the season.

Manning retired from the NFL a month after Denver's 24-10 win over Carolina in Super Bowl 50.

The NFL is continuing its investigation into allegations made against other NFL players in the documentary, which the league said involves "different lines of inquiry and witnesses."

Eagles CB Jalen Mills rocks a green hairdo, says he kind of likes it

jalen-mills-hair-green.jpg

Eagles CB Jalen Mills rocks a green hairdo, says he kind of likes it

Seventh-round draft pick Jalen Mills was one of the standouts of the Eagles' offseason program, quickly climbing the depth chart and impressing on the field. But on the first day of training camp, the rookie cornerback stood out for a far different reason.

As you can see, Mills' hair is green.

The LSU product turned some heads and even got a few chuckles from onlookers. Don't expect that to persuade him to go back to a more conventional look anytime soon though. Mills said he got the color done about a week ago and thinks he'll stick with it.

"Just joking with one of my friends," Mills said of how the new hairdo came about. "Then the joke, I actually came through and I actually kind of like it a little bit, so I'm gonna keep it for sure."

As for Mills' teammates, well, they've got jokes too. Let's just say the green hair has inspired some new nicknames for the first-year defensive back.

"Green Goblin. The Joker. I've heard Lime Green Skittle. Starburst," Mills said, rattling off some of the nicknames going around the locker rom. "I've been getting an earful."

Of course, Mills isn't the first Eagles player or even defensive back to sport team pride by changing the color of his locks. Cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie showed up to training camp with a green stripe in his hair back in 2012.

Hopefully it works out better for Mills than it did DRC, who went on to have a disastrous season. Fortunately, the 22-year-old seems to have his head on straight and is not merely vying for a roster spot, but perhaps serious playing time this season.

Mills opened up the first day of training camp with rookies and selected veterans by breaking up several passes, building on a strong offseason that saw him working with the first-team defense as the nickel corner. As for how he's gone from late-round pick to in the mix so fast, Mills credits hard work, along with his coaches and teammates.

"Just being focused and being determined," said Mills. "We've got a great coaching staff helping me, great players in the defensive back room as well, just everybody being able to help me put my first step forward.

"I'm really trying to give my all for this team and it's showing through."

It's showing through quite literally at the moment.

When you finish your first #EaglesCamp practice...

A photo posted by Philadelphia Eagles (@philadelphiaeagles) on