The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The Evster's Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City.

Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He's rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that's right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it's really no surprise that he also has a super-hot, sweaty white woman walking alongside him.

Unfortunately for you, you're not this cool. No one is. But that's okay. By simply shutting up for five minutes and reading this post, I'll help you find a few things to spice up your summer wardrobe. Then you too can have a somewhat attractive, majorly sweaty white woman to stroll down the street with.

So without wasting anymore time, let's move on with this post because quite frankly I have no idea if it's legal to take a picture of a person walking down the street and then post it on the internet so seriously let's just move on, please scroll down, c'mon keep reading, let's go let's go let's go, there's no way that's legal, no way, no way, no way.

NBA Legend Socks, by Stance

Most likely, if you are reading a Philadelphia sports blog to get fashion advice, then you are in need of some serious serious help. You also probably work in some dumb office where they make you tuck your lame short-sleeved collared shirt into some stupid khakis, and every time you sit down in a meeting the outline of your balls is visible to pretty much everyone in your office, including all the cute interns, and no one wants to see that, man, no one. I know it makes you feel like a MANLY MAN, but it's not helping you, at all. But these socks -- these NBA legends socks -- these can help.

Socks are really the only way for a stupid person like you to put any pizzazz into his outfit. Instead of making people gag in meetings, simply cross your legs, show off these bad boys and you'll find the interns will be sending you selfies in no time. Did you see these jawns?! They're incredible! Besides offering Big Game James, Doc and Ewing, they also come in pairs of Hakeem Olajuwon (DREAM SOCKS!), Kenny Smith (I KNOW!), Larry Legend (whatever), Bill Walton (CURRENTLY SOLD OUT), The Worm (that's Dennis Rodman) and wait for it, here it comes, this is the big bopper, Karl Malone on one foot and John Stockton on the otherrrrrrr!!!

The only problem is they cost $16 (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD), so you might have to get someone else to buy them for you. My wife bought me the Ewings (she's a Knicks fan) and she couldn't be more excited for me to have them. As I'm typing this, she's literally trying to tear my pants off. These are the greatest socks in the world.

Where can you get 'em? Ubiq, 1509 Walnut Street -- don't be scared to go in there. It's not that cool. It's just a store. Calm down. You can also get 'em on Stance's website, which apparently is a thing.

Mitchell and Ness Hardwood Classics Caricature T-shirts

Do you hear that sound? Do you hear that? Turn the speakers down on your computer and listen closely: that's the sound of a thousand men popping a thousand boners.

NBA Caricature T-shirts (aka the Greatest Shirts in the History of Western Civilization) are back, baby! Besides the Iverson jawn above (and check it out, look what he's doing, he's cupping his ear to listen to the crowd!), they also have Shawn Kemp, Magic, Bird, Hakeem, LARRY JOHNSON WITH THE GOLD TOOTH, Dr. J and Shaq Daddy.

Where can you get 'em? store.NBA.com or Mitchell and Ness.com -- but Mitchell and Ness secretly has a couple Dennis Rodmans on their sale rack for only 20 bucks. The price of these is outrageous ($39.95?!?!), but still, it's a lot better than your Phillies Chooch shirt you've been wearing every Saturday for the past three years I mean c'mon my niece also has that shirt, dude, I mean seriously.

Zaire Leopards Futbol T-shirt

The story behind this shirt is that the Zaire national team (nicknamed the Leopards) made an unbelievable run in the 1974 World Cup, but honestly who cares it's a leopard playing soccer and that's good enough for me. This could be the dopest shirt of all time. Did you see the leopard playing soccer?!?! My wife also bought this for me (AM I MARRIED TO THE GREATEST WOMAN EVER OR WHAT?) and the first time I wore it I got around 7 different compliments (and then got mustard on the sleeve). Regardless, amazing shirt, soccer is cool, leopards kill people, and according to my wife, cream-colored clothing goes perfectly with pretty much all skin complexions.

Where can you get one? I'm not telling you. I want to be the only one in Philadelphia wearing one. I'm sorry. (Not sorry.)

Bille Jean King - Pressure is a Privilege T-shirt

This is another shirt that I own (apparently this is just a blogpost to talk about my wardrobe), but I never wear it because it's too tight and armpit sweat stains show way too easily in grey t-shirts.

Where can you get something like it, because obviously you're not gonna wear a BJK shirt? Homage.com -- most of their t-shirts are dumb, but they do have a couple jawns that are fantastic, like this Bernie Kosar, an Ickey Woods jawn that says "Do the Ickey Shuffle", Chris Sabo (or "Chris Sabo to Drugs" as my friend Law calls him), and now that I think about it, this might be some sort of Ohio website. Whatever, I'm down with Ohio. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony? They're cool. Bone bone bone bone bone, bone bone ...

Mitchell and Ness Neon Sonics Hat

Honestly you're not cool enough to wear this, I just wanted to post it because OMG NEON SONICS HAT?!?!

New Balance 574

Dude! Don't listen to people who tell you you're not cool enough to wear stuff! Just wear stuff! I own a Billie Jean King t-shirt for cryin' out loud. WHO CARESSSSS???!!? Stop being a wimp and get yourself some dope kicks. That's what's summer is all about. They don't even have to be turquoise. Ughghghghh, and throw away those khakis. No human being should ever wear khakis! I don't care how well they go with your complexion!

Where can you get 'em? Any sneaker shop downtown, stupid. Just go get some new kicks. There's honestly like 400 sneaker shops on Chestnut street and nothing makes you feel better in this world than new sneaks. FACT!

EXCEPT FOR PATRICK EWING SOCKS!!!!!!!

The Evster writes the blog TV My Wife Watches where he writes about TV his wife watches. He also became The 700 Level's resident fashion expert after he wrote this post in January about making your own jerseys. Follow him on Twitter @TVMWW. Or don't. Doesn't matter. Who cares?

Eagles head coach Doug Pederson talks protesting anthem, Myke Tavarres doesn't

Eagles head coach Doug Pederson talks protesting anthem, Myke Tavarres doesn't

A day after flip-flopping on whether or not he planned to stand or sit during the national anthem, Myke Tavarres had nothing to say about this complex issue.

Tavarres, a rookie undrafted linebacker with the Eagles, told ESPN on Monday he planned to emulate 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick and sit during the playing of the national anthem Thursday night prior to the Eagles’ preseason game against the Jets at The Linc.

Tavarres said he wanted to draw attention to racial inequality and social injustice with the demonstration.

"We’ve got an issue in this country in this day and age, and I feel like somebody needs to step up and we all need to step up,” Tavares  told ESPN.

But within a couple hours, Tavarres had changed his mind.

“Myke plans on standing for the national anthem,” his agent said in a statement. “Myke does not want to be a distraction to the Philadelphia Eagles organization. Mike’s goal is and will always be to make the Eagles’ 53-man roster and help the team win a Super Bowl.”

Kaepernick, who four years ago led the 49ers to the Super Bowl, spoke for 18½ minutes about his decision to sit during the Star-Spangled Banner.

Tavarres said at his locker after practice Tuesday he had nothing more to say.

“I made a statement through my agent last night,” he said. “If you have any other questions, please talk to him.”

Head coach Doug Pederson said he did not talk individually to Tavarres, a fringe prospect who is unlikely to survive this weekend’s roster cuts.

But he did discuss the broader issue in a meeting with the full team and said he believes his players should stand during the anthem.

“Listen, I can appreciate everybody's opinions and I respect everybody's opinions,” Pederson said.

“But at the same time, I feel that [the national anthem] is important and it's obviously out of respect for the men and women of our country that sacrifice in order for us to coach and play this great game.

“So I get it. I understand it. But at the same time, I encourage everybody to stand.”

If not yet suspended, Lane Johnson would start at RT in opener

If not yet suspended, Lane Johnson would start at RT in opener

The Eagles are just 12 days away from the season opener against the Browns. 

And Lane Johnson still isn't suspended. 

The Eagles' starting right tackle is facing a 10-game PED suspension once the B sample returns and shows the same peptide from an amino acid that his A sample did. Johnson expects it to, but it hasn't happened yet. On Aug. 13, after news broke about the looming suspension, Johnson said he thought the results from the B sample back in two to three weeks, although there's no set timetable.  

… Nothing yet. 

So, at what point do the Eagles, who shifted the offensive line in anticipation of the suspension, have to plan for Johnson to be active for the opener? 

"[That’s] a great question, and this is something that we wrestle with every day," head coach Doug Pederson said. "The conversations are such that we've got to have – especially offensively – just have a plan ready to go. 

"I'll tell you this: If he's ready to go, then he's our guy." 

Since news of the impending suspension broke, Johnson has been working with the second team at right tackle. To replace him, the team moved Allen Barbre from left guard to right tackle and inserted rookie Isaac Seumalo at left guard. He stayed there until an injury forced Stefen Wisniewski into the lineup. 

If there's no suspension and Johnson is able to play in the opener, things would then shift back. Johnson would take his job at right tackle, and Barbre would go back to left guard, sending Seumalo and/or Wisniewski to the bench. 

"I think he had a tremendous camp and tremendous offseason at left guard, and you kind of put the pieces back in place," Pederson said of Barbre. "We've seen enough from the [G] Isaacs [Semualo] and [C/G Stefen] Wisniewskis, and [G/T] Allen [Barbre] over there at right tackle that we know we've got the combination of guys – and ‘Big V’ [T Halapoulivaati Vaitai] got plenty of reps – to sustain this thing through the duration."

For now, though, the Eagles aren't treating Johnson like a starter. The veteran will be playing on Thursday in the preseason finale. It might be his last game until Nov. 28 against the Packers. Or not. 

The waiting game continues.  

Tonight's lineup: Ryan Howard starts despite awful numbers vs. Max Scherzer

Tonight's lineup: Ryan Howard starts despite awful numbers vs. Max Scherzer

Despite having awful career numbers against Max Scherzer, Ryan Howard is in the Phillies' lineup against him Tuesday night.

Howard, 1 for 18 with 11 strikeouts against the Nationals' ace, bats fourth. 

Howard seems to be coming back to Earth. He hit .357 with seven home runs, four doubles and 16 RBIs in his first 20 games out of the All-Star break, but has gone 2 for 16 with two singles and eight strikeouts since.

Jimmy Paredes gets another start in left field. Peter Bourjos is out of the lineup for a fourth straight game.

The rest of the lineup is standard. Odubel Herrera, who bats second, is 6 for 19 with five walks in his career against Scherzer (see game notes).

1. Cesar Hernandez, 2B
2. Odubel Herrera, CF
3. Maikel Franco, 3B
4. Ryan Howard, 1B
5. Cameron Rupp, C
6. Aaron Altherr, RF
7. Jimmy Paredes, LF
8. Freddy Galvis, SS
9. Jerad Eickhoff, P