The Phantoms, the Flyers’ American Hockey League affiliate and former South Philly neighbor, are returning to the region this fall after spending the last five seasons in Glens Falls, N.Y. They’ll call Allentown, Pa.’s brand new PPL Center home and will be known as the Lehigh Valley Phantoms.
The next logical step after a new hometown, arena and name is obviously a new mascot.
Sounds like a bulletproof plan, right?
Eh, not so much in this instance.
Say hello to Melvin, a furry yellow thing with wiry purple and blue hair that is the new Phantoms mascot.
He’s pretty bland. There’s nothing to him. There’s nothing distinctive about him. At first glance, he’s as generic as a mascot can possibly be.
And it’s easy to tell from Melvin’s stature, shape and rotund pelvis area that he is a clear Phillie Phanatic wannabe.
Keep shooting for the stars, Melvin.
But what exactly is Melvin anyway?
If you choose to use about five minutes of your life to watch this cheesy video of Melvin’s unveiling, you will find that Melvin is labeled as a “puck-nosed padoodle” that used to roam the Lehigh Valley but was thought to be extinct.
That video also informs the public that Melvin enjoys high-cholesterol snacks such as popcorn and hates chocolate bars made in that town where one of the Phantoms’ main rivals plays.
Melvin also has an extreme dislike for penguins. Hmm. Wonder why that is?
The fact of the matter is that Melvin is off to a pretty bad start. Let’s give Melvin some time to impress, but he’s already got his stringy, multi-colored tail and fuzzy back against the wall.
Poor Phlex is rolling over in his mascot grave.