Week 3 NFC East Recap: Giants are now your threat-du-jour

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The following is a guest post by Eric Marmon

Things finally started to go the Eagles way this week around the NFC East. Dallas finally lost, as did Washington, which means the Birds are in a three-way tie for last place in the division. Thank you, Pope!

Alas, with another week comes another worry, and in the world of over-reaction it now appears pretty obvious the 1-2 Giants are destined for the divisional crown.

Here’s what happened and what’s upcoming after Week 3 in the NFC East:

Dallas Cowboys

What Happened: The most notable thing that happened last week in Dallas: GM-for-Life Jerry Jones and his two new hips traded a late round pick for journeyman QB Matt Cassel. The 33-year-old Cassel (pronounced “aw-ful”) is a backup with a proven ability to lose football games. Despite being 10-17 in games started since 2011, the Cass-Man’s mere presence on the Cowboys roster will undoubtedly work to unravel the presumably fragile psyche of current starter Brandon Weeden. Quarterback play will suffer, local media will demand a change, and Cassel will inevitably take the reins. Thus, the Circle of 2nd String Quarterback Life continues.

Getting back to the game, the ‘Boys choked away a winnable one in delectable fashion Sunday. Really, it was a blast. Joseph Randle had three touchdowns (which now gives him more TDs on the season than DeMarco Murray has positive yards), Weeden went a quietly-impressive 22-for-26, and Dallas scored 28 first half points.

Yet they still lost. Finally, the universe’s great pendulum begins its karmic return. That or Devonta Freeman is a beast.

What It Means For The Eagles: It means the Cowboys aren’t going 16-0 this season, just as I predicted. Eerie, I know.

There’s plenty of positives Jason Garrett’s squad can take from Sunday, which is a bummer. Despite the many noted injuries, the Cowboys still looked like contenders for 30 minutes. For a team merely trying to stay afloat with Romo and Dez on the shelf, a dominant first half could be something to build off of.

Or it would have been, had they not crumbled like asbestos in the third and fourth quarter. Julio Jones did Julio Jones things, sure, but he’s not the reason the Cowboys failed to score a single point in the second half. Additionally, since there was no Brandon Weeden Implosion of Epic Proportions, the calls to install Cassell will have to wait another week. For those of you who want B-Weed’s starting as many games for Big D as possible (and that should be all of you), this was the perfect type of loss.

What’s Next: More Weeden! Specifically, on a trip to New Orleans where they may-or-may-not face The Shell Formerly Known As Drew Brees. After that is the Patriots (who cheat), and the very real possibility Dallas could be under .500 just two weeks from now.

 

Washington Redskins

What Happened: In a shocking turn of events, the Washington Football Team is no longer the most dysfunctional franchise in our nation's capitol. All it took was two months of Jonathan Papelbon. When it comes to grabbing things, Pap definitely has a type!

That being said, the State of Football in Washington is still pretty icky. The defense finally looked lackluster, the special teams allowed a punt block to the Giants starting running back, and Kirk Cousins threw for a Bradford-esque 196 yards before the 4th quarter (when the Giants went into prevent). Oh, and DeAngelo Hall got injured, which is sad if you can muster sympathy for a guy who bragged about making $8 million dollars to play eight games. Even Nnamdi would call that stealing.

The Skins aren’t very good. You knew that already. However, imagine for a sec if Not-Jon Gruden’s squad had gone into New York New Jersey and come away with their second consecutive victory. Like it or not, they’re suddenly the scariest team in the NFC East (the equivalent of being Duane Reade’s most dangerous sponge). Winning Thursday could have changed this franchise's narrative.

Alas, the prophecy held true, and the Skins lost meekly. Of course they did. They’re quarterbacked by an interception-machine of historic proportions (Cousins now has 29 turnovers in 17 games played), they’re coached by the Gob Bluth of Gruden’s (hermano Jay now has a .263 winning percentage as a head coach) and they’re owned by a poorly-written Bond villain (Snyder has been known to leave British spies unguarded in elaborate death-traps, giving them ample opportunity to escape).

Bear with me here, as I’m about to get really technical for a second: Washington isn’t good at football.

What It Means For The Eagles: It means the Eagles have a chance to knock an NFC East opponent down to 1-3. They should steamroll this gaggle of clowns dressed in racially-insensitive helmets. If they don’t, it’s very fair to question how talented Kelly’s chosen roster really is.

Oh, and we might get to see Jaccpot!

What’s Next: The Skins have ten long day to lick their wounds and study Chip’s supposedly predictable offense. A win against the Birds, and all of a sudden the District can jump right back into delusions of mediocrity.

Also of note, RG3 may the starter again soon, as a Colt McCoy Mystery Injury bumped the former franchise savior up to #2 on the depth chart. Enjoy Kirk Cousins while you can, folks, as the future-journeyman quarterback is not long for his current post.

 

New York Giants

What Happened: Facing the same dire-straits as our beloved Eagles, the GMen got a relatively-convincing victory at home against Washington. That steady hand of Tom Coughlin; he really is Uncle Cholly Manuel in a blue windbreaker, isn’t he?

Most impressive was a 30-yard touchdown pass to Odell Beckham Jr. with 13:45 remaining. The Giants were up 18-6 at the time, making it the 3rd-consecutive game New York was leading by more than ten entering the final quarter. It’s fair to say the MetLife not-capacity crowd was more than a bit nervous.

The touchdown to Beckham, for all intents and purposes, ended this one. An optimist would say Eli and Co. didn’t just escape with a win (like some NFC East teams did); they punched the monkey on their backs square in the face.

Sure, their pass rush seems like it’s down a few fingers, and Old Man Coughlin did look like a punchline when he challenged a scoring play (which you can’t do) by pulling the red flag out of his sock (which you shouldn’t do). And yes, it was only Washington. That doesn’t change the fact that, like the Eagles, the Giants put a shot of adrenaline into the chest of a nearly-dead season.

Meanwhile, salsa is officially back on the condiments page: Victor Cruz is expected to return for Week 4.

What It Means For The Eagles: The Giants aren’t done yet, which is disappointing, as they’re the only team in this division with a proven ability of rising out from the ashes.

It’s fair to ask: did Eli and Coughlin win this game, or did they just not-lose-it? It’s probably more of the latter, but that won’t really matter if this Giants squad finds a way to not-lose the most games in the division.

If Eagles fans are feeling positive this week, so too should Giants fans. And when December rolls around, who would you prefer throwing passes for your football team: Eli Manning… or Sam Bradford?

The season is still on life support, however, and another blown 4th-quarter lead will result in some witty NY Post back-pages and the Mara family putting Coughlin out to pasture. Let’s see if Chip can punch the ticket.

What’s Next: @ Buffalo, vs San Fran, and then a Monday Night Showdown in South Philly.

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