Baicker & McQuade recap ‘247': Episode 1

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Sarah Baicker and Dan McQuade recap 247 FlyersRangers: Road to the NHL Winter Classic each week. In the first episode: Bryz breaks out, Peter Laviolette drops f-bombs and Sean Avery is a fashion model.

Pre-show thoughts
Sarah: If you ask me, the best part of 247 is that the shows so good, even people who hate hockey suddenly love hockey -- even if its just for an hour or so once a week. Hockey's usually, like, the stepchild of America's four major leagues. I love the respect 247 brings to the sport. Even though it's temporary.

Dan: I still have a crush on that redhead from the Real World season here; its pretty clear Ill watch anything on TV about Philadelphia. Though a show following the Flyers will probably be mostly set in New Jersey, last years 247 ruled. Of course, it had Bruce Boudreau, who dropped 65 f-bombs in the first episode. (I kept possibly-inaccurate statistics! He got self conscious, and dropped just 35 in the second episode and three in the third.) I dont know if there will be anything as awesome as a coach who drops an f-bomb every minute this year, but at least well get to see beautiful Voorhees.

Wait, what am I saying? This series could have Sarah Baicker in the background!

Sarah: If Im not in the background, clearly all my efforts to wind up in the direct view of the HBO cameras was for naught! Oh, but, right, this isnt about me. This is about hockey. Hockey and Philly! Two of my favorite things. Im definitely psyched.
Dan: I was pretty psyched. But then at 9 p.m. we watched a show on Planet Green called Why is Sex Fun?hosted by Maggie Gyllenhaal!and Im wondering how 247 could possibly top this.
Sarah: Maybe theyll talk about why hockey is fun on 247? Hmmm. Nevermind.

'If you kill tiger like this? Death penalty'
Dan: The Internet decided almost immediately Ilya Bryzgalov was the star of the first episode, and its hard to disagree. The first confessional interview he did was about coming to Philadelphia: "When I sign here, people said, 'You know, where are you going, you're going to hell. They hate. They never have a goalie. They go hard on goalies. It's a miserable market for goalies.'" Wow, people had really specific complaints.

Sarah: Id agree with Bryz though -- Philly definitely can be a miserable market for goalies. Anyone who was around for the leagues reveal of the Winter Classic alumni game roster could tell you that.

And, you know, I also agreed with his pretty amazing description of the universe: "Right now, I'm very into the universe, you know, like how it was created. You know, like, what is it? Solar system is so humongous big, right? But, if you see the solar system, and our galaxy like on the side. And we're so small. You couldn't even see our galaxy. Our galaxy is huge. But if you see the big picture, our galaxy is so tiny, like a dot on the universe. Like, and I think, like, and we have some problems here on the earth we worry about, compared to like, nothing? Be happy. Don't worry, be happy right now."

That puts it all into perspective, Dan, dont you think?
Dan: I have to agree with Bryz on this one, actually. Anyone whos seen Pale Blue Dot can tell you that.

Of course, his discussion of poaching was my favorite part. Stemming from a bottle of liquor with a tiger on the bottle -- "alcohol, cognac, and lots of mixing of the natural stuff, he called it -- Bryz launched into a soliloquy on (what else?) tiger poaching.

Sarah: Yes! "This is tiger. And less than 500 species left on the earth. China law? If you kill tiger like this? Death penalty. If you kill the tiger and they find you, you're dead."

Dan: Sadly, I cant find any evidence of the death penalty for tiger poaching in China, though the WWF says the death penalty used to be on the books for panda homicide.

Sarah: So, for anyone whos around the team regularly, Bryzgalovs break-out performance doesnt come as any kind of a surprise. But I was totally pleasantly surprised by the crazy Czech Jaromir Jagr fan. I dont know who this dude is, but Im telling you, he sounds exactly like Borat!

Dan: This guy ruled. His speech, in full: Jaromr Jgr, Czech Republic! Today winners, no Pittsburgh. And Philadelphia Flyers. Jaromr Jgr!" I can think of no better way to cheer on our local hockey team.

Sarah: Where did they find that guy? Oh, and here's a fun fact: you know why Jagr wears 68? 1968 was the year of the Prague Spring, a time of political uprising in Czechoslovakia against the USSR.

F-bombs
Sarah: In the first 15 seconds, this show was already more dramatic than Why Is Sex Fun. Hey! Peter Laviolete said f---ing twice in the first two minutes! Im kind of surprised! This might be the first time Ive ever seen Peter Laviolette curseand Ive seen him pretty pissed off before.

Dan: One of the first things Laviolette said: We are not a conservative team. We are a lets f---ing giddy-up and go team. There were eight f-bombs in the first three minutes!

I love that HBO leaves in all the cursing. Sports have a ton of it, especially something as violent as hockey. Guys get pissed. Guys drop f-bombs. Its not any big secret. We shouldnt have to pretend athletes are all great gentlemen. Actually, maybe thats who the Lady Byng Trophy should go to: The guy who drops the fewest number of f-bombs during the year.
Sarah: Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo! Sports Puck Daddy counted 43 f-bombs in the first episode. Its no Bruce Boudreau, but itll do.
Dan: Speaking of last years 247, I was glad to see they brought back Penguins coach Dan Bylsma from last season. I hope they dont kill him off like HBO does to its characters on every other show!

Big hits and concussions
Sarah: Every time I watch that knee-to-Girouxs-head replay, I cringe. I knew theyd show that in slow motion. Itll be interesting to see whether the show tackles the NHLs concussion issue as we go forward in the seriesand, really, it has to be said here: the loss of Giroux and Chris Pronger to concussions is a huge loss to 247!

Dan: The one drawback from high definition sports broadcasts is having to see violent hits and bone breaks in crystal clear slow motion. Im a total jerk who loves gore, but sometimes HD makes hockey (and football, boxing, pro wrestling, etc.) so tough to watch. Im sure well hear more about concussions. Judging from the first episode, people will curse about them.

Sean Avery, fashion model

Dan: I cant believe this episode was so engaging we almost forgot to make fun of Sean Averys fashion model shoot.

Sarah: Once, I rode an elevator in Madison Square Garden with Sean Avery. He wore his sunglasses the entire time. This makes even more sense now.

Additional thoughts
Sarah: Opening quote after the opening credits: In New York, commuting to work is a fact of life that unites every resident. Wait. Dont they have to commute to work in Philly too? I mean, these guys practice in Voorheesin New Jersey.

Dan: Im positive people in New York believe they have the best, most authentic commute of any city.
Sarah: It is true, what they said about Madison Square Garden, though. Totally one of the best arenas in all of the NHL. Maybe only the Bell Centre in Montreal is more intense.

Dan: I like the Garden, though Ive only seen basketball and track there. Ive never been to the Bell Centre, but I liked it more when it was named after beer.

Sarah: Its interesting that in this episode the Rangers were portrayed as the team in trouble. Funny the difference a week makes -- I know the Flyers have won six in a row, but theyre also so banged up right now. I dont mean to be a Debbie Downer or whatever, but something tells me Episode 2 might flip flop just a bit.

Dan: Hey, Peter Laviolette told them the big boss says the Christmas party is mandatory. Things got a little bleak by the end.

Three stars
1. Ilya Bryzgalov. His star is humongous big.

2. The Czech Jagr Fan. Today winners. No Pittsburgh.

3. The Dude Who Adjusted Sean Averys Sleeve. Assistants on fashion model shoots deserve more love.
Sarah Baicker is a web producer and Flyers reporter for CSNPhilly.com. Dan McQuade writes for SI.com, Phillymag.com, AV Club Philadelphia and edits news for Comcast.net. Once a week in December, they get together to drink beer, watch 247 and make jokes about things in the episode you probably missed.

You can e-mail Sarah at sbaicker@comcastsportsnet.com and Dan at mcquade@gmail.com, or follow them both on Twitter.

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