Sarah Baicker and Dan McQuade recap 247 FlyersRangers: Road to the NHL Winter Classic each week. In the third episode, tacky Christmas sweaters, a swanky Old City apartment and... the Puppy Bowl? Previous recaps: Episode 1, Episode 2.
Preshow thoughtsDan: A lot of people I know have told me how much theyre enjoying 247, even non-sports fans. While I think theres too much filler for it to be considered a great sports documentary, its amazing how well done it is when its essentially produced on the fly. If this thing keeps going, it could be a real hit! Oh, wait, this is the next-to-last episode.
Sarah: All I can say is, I really, really hope last nights game in Tampa is featured on tonights episode. And not just because I was there and Im still waiting for my cameo (ahem, HBO!). Considering last nights ugly performance from Ilya Bryzgalov -- and his postgame locker room f-bomb dropping -- as well as Scott Hartnells game misconduct for something that happened at the Lightnings bench, the behind-the-scenes access could prove really enlightening tonight. Also, I wonder whos going to beat last weeks Henrik Lundqvist jam session with John McEnroe, in the randomness department!
Dan: I would like to note that, at the end of our recap of the first episode, you mentioned how the Flyers were up and the Rangers were down and wrote that something tells me Episode 2 might flip flop just a bit. You jinxed it! Or you made a careful analysis and made a prediction, one of those two.
Sarah: Lets go with the latter. Just so I can look good on the Internet.
Air Bud: Two Minutes for Ruffing
Dan: Before we do anything else, can I comment on the NHL Action Center! or whatever its called. Ive always really enjoyed how the NHL has a central base in Canada where they handle replays. What I enjoy even more is how the people there also apparently watch the Puppy Bowl when theyre not determining whether a puck crossed the goal line.
Sarah: The control room in Toronto! Its amazing, isnt it? A hockey nerds dream. And, readers, I know Dan has a reputation for his Photoshop skills and love of puppies, but I assure you, this screencap isn't manipulated at all! They really were watching puppies!
Dan: Speaking of puppies...
With you, I have a fifth face
Sarah: Hey! Its Bryzgalovs dog! What do you think, is she a hot blonde?
Dan: She appears to be a dog to me. I was kind of worried. We didnt get a Bryzgalov monologue until the 49th minute of this episode! Hes been the No. 1 star attraction for 247 so far! HBO cant make us wait this long!
Sarah: I wonder if its because of how Bryz has played lately (i.e., badly). As we discussed last week, the teams get final approval over each episode before it airs, so I could see them wanting less attention focused on Bryzgalov, fearing he is actually distracted by the 247 cameras, as some have feared.
Also, weve been transcribing everything from him so far obvious reasons, so we should probably keep our streak alive:
You know I have many faces. (woosh) mask (woosh, woosh) In home, I have one face. Public, I have another face. Umm... oh, on the ice I have a different face. Day off, I have a fourth face, you know. With you, I have a fifth face. Nobody sees me except my family, when Im being truthful.Dan: See? Hes been lying the whole time! I bet he doesnt even believe the universe is so humongous big.
Sarah: Or maybe just one of his faces truly believes that?
Look at NHL.com... or dont, really
Sarah: Talk about product placement! Before taking a faceoff with Claude Giroux, Dallas Steve Ott tells Giroux hes fifth in the NHL in faceoffs -- and then he actually tells Giroux go to NHL.com and look it up! He must have a promotional deal with NHL.com or something to augment his salary.
Dan: I looked it up. Steve Ott is not in the Top 5 in any faceoff category on NHL.com. Not only did he lose this faceoff to Claude Giroux, but hes a big fat liar, too!
Wheres Pat Burrell?
NHL
Dan: Meanwhile, the Flyers coaches went to a local bar in New York City, which is actually McCormack's Irish Pub, which appears to be one of those interchangeable off-the-shelf Irish pubs. (So, like either of the Irish Pubs on Walnut Street.) Not only is 247 making the Rangers look more glamorous than the Flyers, but its making Philadelphians seem like yokels!
Sarah: All the tables around them were totally empty! That local spot must not be popular.
Heroes and villains
Sarah: The Flyers are worried about their star centers head injury, and in last nights episode the Rangers sipped hot cocoa and skated with their girlfriends. Man, everything in New York really is more glamorous than in Philly, huh?
Dan: Obviously, in every sports documentary there are heroes and villains. Perhaps HBO is attempting to paint the Rangers as the urbane, hip heroes, but I dont think its working. Sure, the Rangers skate with their cute girlfriends, but they also have an ugly Christmas sweater party. And Michael Del Zotto wore the above sweater, featuring a reindeer threesome.
Sarah: After watching this, I think the Flyers are going to get jealous. Of course, I have to wonder which Flyer would win an ugly sweater contestmy vote goes to Jaromir Jagr. I bet theyve got some crazy threads over in the Czech Republic.
The OC
Dan: See? The Flyers are clearly the heroes. While the Rangers have their ugly Christmas sweater parties, the Flyers chill at Scott Hartnells Old City loft, which has both Big Buck Hunter and a combo GalagaMs. Pac Man machine. Then they go to church! The Flyers totally deserve to win on Monday.
Sarah: Funny you should mention that! I just got a press release from EA Sports that says, according to simulations run in NHL 12, the Flyers will beat the Rangers in the Winter Classic, 3-1!
Screenshot dump!
Sarah: Last week, HBO paid tribute to The Sopranos. This week, theyre totally making an Entourage reference!
Dan: I can only hope Robert Wuhl reprises his role as Arliss in the final episode.
Sarah: Well, at least we know if the hockey thing suddenly doesnt work out for Marian Gaborik, he could probably get a job as a mover or a Christmas tree hauler or something.
Dan: What do hockey players do after their careers end? Do they all end up in New Jersey like ex-Flyers?
Sarah: Nah, thats a distinct-to-the-Flyers thing. I think the rest of them return to Canada and run hockey camps or grow Christmas trees ...
Dan: Hey, viewers! You may not know this, but this is a shot reminiscent of a little indie flick called Rocky, filmed right here in Philadelphia! I forget who starred in it.
Sarah: Rocky, huh? Thank goodness 247 is full of unique references to things that are truly Philly.
Dan: Yes, Rocky is a nice movie and its one of the things Philadelphia is known for. And the shot of the skyline from the Art Museum steps is pretty nice. But there are other movies filmed here, too! Why not reference Blow Out? And, for that matter, if youre going to do a sports movie reference in a TV show about hockey involving the New York Rangers, it ought to be Mystery, Alaska.
Sarah: I kind of love Mystery Alaska ...
Dan: I really enjoyed, after Peter Laviolette wouldnt answer questions about his shoving match with Steve Ott (link contains curses!), that Max Talbot showed up randomly in the background in his underwear.
Sarah: Oh! I get it! This is why non-sports fans like 247 so much ...
Three stars
1. Peter Laviolette. Um, he told a player on an opposing team, go f--- yourself. 247 has put Lavvy in Buddy Ryan territory.
2. Laviolettes Christmas tie. You have to credit Peter Laviolette. Hes got a hell of a collection of ties -- a tie for all seasons, if you will.
3. Bryzgalovs dog Mila. We dont know if shes a hot woman, but shes pretty darn cute.
Sarah Baicker is a web producer and Flyers reporter for CSNPhilly.com. Dan McQuade writes for SI.com, Phillymag.com, AV Club Philadelphia and edits news for Comcast.net. Once a week in December, they get together to drink beer, watch 247 and make jokes about things in the episode you probably missed.You can e-mail Sarah at sbaicker@comcastsportsnet.com and Dan at mcquade@gmail.com, or follow them both on Twitter.