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The Evster Asks "What Kind of Soccer Fan Are You?"

The Evster Asks "What Kind of Soccer Fan Are You?"

Just a guy wearing a horse head.

Like it or not, soccer fever has swept the US. And while casual fans are experiencing some light sniffles before the new season, a host of white people have become fully consumed by the virus, barfing their brains out in anticipation of this weekend's fixtures. On Saturday and Sunday morning, they will invade our pubs, wear shirts that promote obscure Arab airlines and fail to finish the stewed tomatoes that come with their English Breakfast. Soccer fans come in all shapes and sizes, with varying levels of knowledge and interest in a sport that is scientifically proven to be super-sonic boring. What kind of futbol fan are you? Read on to find out.

LEVEL 9 BONKERS AMERICAN - You own multiple jerseys of your favourite club and even have a full kit that you break out for big matches. You use words like "kit" and "matches" and "pitch" and "pace" and "DARBY" and cannot listen to 30 seconds of Eric Wynalda's rambling without telling him to stop sucking his own D. You argue with your cable provider pretty much every August, making sure you can watch your precious Man United or AC Milan or Barcelona or whatever front-running team that served as the catalyst for your latest European vacation. You once had a real, live African person give you a thumbs up after he spotted you wearing your Didier Drogba jersey. This was by far the greatest moment of your life. You've never admitted this to anyone, but you post on football message boards pretty much every day, and even once went to a bar to meet up with your favourite team's supporters club, but got too nervous and just stood in the corner sipping your beer like a sap. Nothing excites you more than transfer rumours. You follow Nicklas Bendtner on Twitter. You are insufferable.

CASUAL FAN - You pretend to understand the Champions League, but have absolutely no idea where Galatasary plays. You rarely pay attention during actual matches, but enjoy having a pint with the fellas and get super excited when your favourite Ghananian comes on in the 73rd. You're anti all of the big clubs, root for teams that have had new-found success like Man City or Borussia Dortmund, although secretly you wish you knew more about Napoli. You have never once pronounced a Belgian's name correctly. You love Andres Iniesta, but mostly because of his hairline, and you once spent an entire 90 minutes marveling over Branislav Ivanovic's thighs. It's no big deal if you miss a match or forget that soccer exists for a few months, because you are living life the way it was supposed to be lived. You probably have a super hot girlfriend. Your knowledge of soccer is minimal, but you are smart enough to recognize that Eric Wynalda sucks his own D.

Whatever, Flamini. Brannie's got thighs like what, what what.

MLS 4 LYFE- Look, I understand that you're excited that soccer came to America, but you need to settle down. Yeah, going to a game at PPL Park is fun, and the whole snake thing the Union have going on is kinda cool, but dude, you're embarrassing yourself. Your favourite European team is whatever one Michael Bradley is currently playing on, even though you have never seen Michael Bradley play a European fixture. You listen to Pearl Jam. You need to reevaluate your life.

MR. I PLAYED SOCCER AT LEHIGH, LOOK AT ME, I'VE GOT FANCY STEP-OVER MOVES - You play in an adult rec league where you constantly appeal to the ref by calling him "sir." You own cleats that were made post-1998 and are surprisingly fit for a person who spends all day in a cubicle. No one likes watching you run around while they're dry-heaving on the sidelines. You don't really support any specific club, but if you had to pick one, it'd be Liverpool. You make sure to say, "He's so crafty, though," whenever anyone bashes Luis Suarez. You have been known to have some really, really, really stupid haircuts. How you got a girlfriend is beyond me. You are seriously the worst person in the world. You know who you are. You play in that Manayunk co-ed league on Thursday nights. You need to stop slide-tackling into chicks. I LOATHE you.

PERSON WHO STUDIED ABROAD IN GERMANY DURING THE SPRING OF 2002 - You know more about Borussia Monchengladbach than 95% of the western world and pronounce the word "Munich" as "Munchen". You own many, many, many pairs of brown shoes.

YOU ARE A NORWEGIAN PERSON - People can tell you're foreign simply by your socks. You know super secret websites that stream live feeds of games which enables you to keep tabs on your boyhood club from the outskirts of Oslo, a squad that currently plays in the Norwegian sixth division. You have never technically killed a man, but you have witnessed many men die in front of you.

GUY WHO LIKES AMERICAN FOOTBALL AND ONLY AMERICAN FOOTBALL - You own a bunch of Under Armour performance tank tops and are totally cool with that Geno's Steaks sign that reads "YOU MUST ORDER IN ENGLISH." Everything you do in life revolves around the words "LA Fitness." You consistently pay women for sex and have never, ever understood Monty Python. You need to wake up and smell the Earl Grey. The real football season is here. Vamanos!

Follow The Evster @TVMWW.

CSNPhilly Internship - Advertising/Sales

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CSNPhilly Internship - Advertising/Sales

Position Title: Intern
Department: Advertising/Sales
Company: Comcast SportsNet Philadelphia
# of hours / week: 10 – 20 hours

Deadline: November 20

Basic Function

This position will work closely with the Vice President of Sales in generating revenue through commercial advertisements and sponsorship sales. The intern will gain first-hand sales experience through working with Sales Assistants and AEs on pitches, sales-calls and recapping material.

Duties and Responsibilities

• Assist Account Executive on preparation of Sales Presentations
• Cultivate new account leads for local sales
• Track sponsorships in specified programs
• Assist as point of contact with sponsors on game night set up and pre-game hospitality elements.
• Assist with collection of all proof of performance materials.
• Perform Competitive Network Analysis
• Update Customer database
• Other various projects as assigned

Requirements

1. Good oral and written communication skills.
2. Knowledge of sports.
3. Ability to work non-traditional hours, weekends & holidays
4. Ability to work in a fast-paced, high-pressure environment
5. Must be 19 years of age or older
6. Must be a student in pursuit of an Associate, Bachelor, Master or Juris Doctor degree
7. Must have unrestricted authorization to work in the US
8. Must have sophomore standing or above
9. Must have a 3.0 GPA

Interested students should apply here and specify they're interested in the ad/sales internship.

About NBC internships

Hard-working Markelle Fultz confident Sixers will succeed

Hard-working Markelle Fultz confident Sixers will succeed

CAMDEN, N.J. — The life of a No. 1 overall pick can get pretty hectic, particularly during the summer heading into their first season.

Getting acclimated to a new city, making appearances, signing endorsement deals, etc. The list goes on forever.

Unless that top pick is Markelle Fultz.

“I did a lot of basketball stuff, just traveling around for basketball purposes,” Fultz said of his summer during Sixers media day. “Of course being the No. 1 pick, a lot of stuff comes along with that."

“I just recently went back to Seattle to hang out with some of my college friends, but other than that, getting in the gym has been the most fun thing for me.”

If there is one thing to know about Fultz so far, it’s that he is constantly working to hone his craft.

Put aside the left ankle sprain he suffered in the Las Vegas Summer League that forced him to spend some time healing up and the 19-year-old spent virtually the entire offseason on the court.

“My summer’s pretty much just been of course rehab for my ankle, which is way better now,” said Fultz, who averaged 16.0 points, 3.0 rebounds and 2.3 assists in three summer league games before the injury. “Just learning the plays and just learning my teammates. Really just enjoying this process, having fun and getting ready.

“I stay in the gym 24/7. Even at home, I’m fortunate enough to have a basketball court outside. Just staying around the game, just playing, shooting trick shots as a lot of people know I like doing. Like I said, just trying to learn the plays to the best of my ability so I can be ready for the season.”

Fultz’s gym-rat mentality combined with his skill set is what ultimately made Sixers president Bryan Colangelo feel comfortable enough to send the No. 3 pick and a protected first-round pick to the Boston Celtics to move up to the top of the draft.

“We felt that that decision was the right one at the time and it’s the right one now,” Colangelo said of the deal. “Markelle is a tremendous young talent. He’s got a high ceiling. He’s very young, but certainly someone that we’re excited to have in the fold with our young core of players that we’ve been bringing together.”

While Fultz certainly fits into the team’s mold of recent selections, it’s how he meshes with previous No. 1 overall pick, Ben Simmons, that could ultimately decide how successful he is in Philadelphia.

Sixers head coach Brett Brown has made clear his desire to use the 6-foot-10, 230-pound Ben Simmons as the squad’s primary point guard. That means Fultz will get moved to shooting guard, a change he views as a plus and not a problem.

“I think I’ll be comfortable with it. My main goal is just to do whatever I have to do to help the team win and if that’s me playing on and off the ball, that’s what I’m willing to do,” Fultz said. “I think the success is going to be high really just because it’s going to throw teams off. You don’t know who’s bringing it up, who’s going to get it. I’m definitely looking forward to it.”

Never lacking in confidence, Fultz reiterated on several occasions that his backcourt partnership with Simmons would work and that the Sixers would reach the postseason.

When you put in the tireless work on the court like Fultz does, you expect results.

“My first goal is always team first and myself, I always have to keep my confidence high,” he said. “In order to be great, I set high goals for myself so that I can achieve them.

“It’s not only my mindset. You ask any of my teammates, they’re going to say the same thing — it’s getting back to the playoffs, that we’re going to make it. Really it’s just the way I believe, the way I think. That’s the way you have to think in order to change things around. In order to be successful, you can’t think that you’re not going to make it. Your chances of doing that are going to be low, so you have to believe it in order to do it.”