The Evster breaks down the 1989-90 Sixers team photo

The Evster breaks down the 1989-90 Sixers team photo

This April marks the 24th anniversary of the 1989-90 Atlantic Division Champion Thump 'n Bump Philadelphia 76ers. Now obviously, a 25th anniversary celebration would make more sense, but after googling "Da Golden Child Kurt Nimphius" and finding the team photo above, I couldn't wait another year to write this article.

Forget about Grantland's oral histories or talking to actual human beings, a deep look into this photo will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about this squad. They say a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, this one is worth 919.

Let's start with the obvious.

BOOM SHAKALAKA.

Like a great 19th century impressionist painting, the eye is immediately drawn to these three towers of power, Bob Thornton, Kurt Nimphius and Mike Gminski. Nice of the G-Man to show up considering he just finished filming an episode of Guiding Light. That beard is SHORN, and check out the curly-q's creeping along the back of his neck. No wonder he averaged 13 and 9. Opposite the G-Man, you can't help but notice Bob Thornton's lack of shoulder hair. Shocking, really. Nimphius is just on a whole 'nother level though. THAT SMILE. Talk about just being happy to be there. Honestly, how did these dudes not have a sitcom together? And are you telling me that Kurt Nimphius didn't moonlight as a Main Line orthodontist?

Speaking of perfectly straight teeth ...

RONNIE RON RON ANDERSON.

Look at those pearly whites. And the 'stache. Andddddddd the 'stache! Unstoppable. Ron Anderson missed out on the 6th Man of the Year award that year, losing out to Ricky Pierce, but Ricky never had a mustache/smile combo like that. Also, those are some really smooth and defined cheek bones. I can't believe how in love I am with Ron Anderson. Nice little earsies, too.

I have a buddy whose father used to own the pharmacy at the corner of 54th and City Line, right across from where the Sixers used to practice at St. Joe's, and he claims that Ron Anderson used to come in before road trips to pick up CASES of condoms. Not cartons, but CASES. I am not making that up and I am also not surprised because Ronald is a STALLION.

Scott Brooks and Derek Smith seem to be having the time of their lives, a clear sign of how well this team got along. You would think that maybe they were laughing at something the Chuckster said, but Charles looks pretty focused here, so I'm gonna rule that one out. They could be having a laugh at the expense of Kenny Payne, but that'd be too easy. But if you look closer, it's actually pretty obvious as to why they're cracking up.

Buzz Braman totally farted.

He totally farted!

Look at that face, he can't deny it. Plus, if you zoom out a bit, you can see that Sixers' trainer, Tony Harris, is giggling like an idiot. Could probably feel the warm breeze on his leg.

Have you EVER seen hair like Buzz Braman's?

Nimphius Schmimphius, this guy is an Adonis. Nothing about his haircut makes sense. There's little sprouts popping out all over the place, and yep -- yep yep yep -- that's a Reverse Renegade mustache. I knew it. I knew it from the second I looked at it. HE'S A REAL PERSON, FOLKS. Buzz Braman is a real, live, breathing person who walked out of his house every day and tackled the world looking like this. God this is an unbelievable country we live in.

At the other end of Coaches Row is equipment manager, Alan Lumpkin, aka the Double Breasted Assassin. You don't see suits like that every day, people, you simply do NOT. I'm guessing Lumpkin came straight from Jos. A Bank and has like 14 more suits (and a sack of cocaine) in the trunk of his car. Seriously, how does that place stay in business? They always have the most ridiculous sales: Buy one suit, get two suits free, plus three shirts, four ties, a 1987 Buick Skylark, a half-a-pound of turnips and a free week trial of America Online.

That's a fascinating business model, you got there, Joey Banks. Absolutely fascinating.

Then there's Lanard Copeland, who is absolutely miserable. YO LENARD. YOU'RE EARNING AN NBA PAYCHECK. HOW 'BOUT CRACKIN A SMILE, YOUNG BUCK?

Then again, he's sandwiched in between Charles and Hawk, who are both sitting like a couple of jerks on the subway, taking up all the legroom, completely oblivious that someone's sitting next to them.

I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN, LANARD.

THIS LADY WAS ALL UP IN MY GRILL LAST WEEK.

Then there's my main man Johnny Dawkins aka Johnny Dawk-Dawk (no one called him that). This picture looks pretty harmless until you look at his sneakers: Avias. Seriously. Dawk-Dawk is wearing Avias. The only other people in 1989 who wore Avias were Hakeem Olajuwon and Jane Fonda.

Whatever, Fonda!

Get over yourself!

But back to Dawk-Dawk. 1989 was right smack in the middle of the greatest era in basketball sneaker history. Hersey Hawkins is rocking the Nike Air Revolutions. Lanard Copeland's got the Air Flights. Even G-Man is wearing Cons. But not Dawk-Dawk, that stubborn son-of-a-bitch.

For the record, I happen to know another ill-nana point guard (and future 700 Level blogger) whose sneaker game was on point back in the day.

SMOOTHEST THIGHS IN DA BIZ, Y'ALL!

Follow the Evster @TVMWW.

2017 Eagles Cost Analysis, LB: Mychal Kendricks on the trade block?

2017 Eagles Cost Analysis, LB: Mychal Kendricks on the trade block?

In 2015, trade rumors were swirling around Mychal Kendricks. He was entering the final year of his rookie contract, and the Eagles had just made sizeable investments in a bunch other linebackers. Then, out of nowhere, Kendricks signed a four-year extension during training camp worth $29 million, with $16 million guaranteed plus incentives.

Fast forward to 2017, and you should expect those rumors to return, only for vastly different reasons.

At the time of the extension, Kenricks was one of the Eagles' top playmakers, not to mention one of only three linebackers in the NFL to rack up at least 8.0 sacks, three interceptions and five forced fumbles and a two-year span. Since then, big plays have been few and far between, performance has been inconsistent altogether and now he's barely even on the field. According to Football Outsiders, Kendricks lined up for only 26.8 percent of the defensive snaps in '17.

The combination of his up-and-down performance and reduced playing time no longer justify Kendricks' rising salary. Also, surprise, the five-year veteran isn't very thrilled about being the third and least utilized of the linebackers in the base defense, nor should he. For the sake of comparison, both Nigel Bradham and Jordan Hicks were on the field at least 95 percent of the time.

Moving on from Kendricks isn't entirely financially motivated, either. Because the Eagles still owe $4.8 in prorated signing bonus over the next three years, the club can only save $1.8 million of his hit against the salary cap for '17. Until they pay a veteran replacement, much of that money — if not all, and then some — is being put right back into the position.

Still, there is likely a team out there that's willing to take a chance on Kendrcks in exchange for a mid-to-late-round draft pick. His $4.85 million base salary this season is very reasonable if he can return to his 2013-14 level of production, which in the right scheme, if he's allowed to blitz and freelance more, could potentially happen.

As long as he's with the Eagles, he's not going to get off the bench unless Bradham or Hicks get hurt. Even then, defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz doesn't like to blitz, perhaps Kendricks' greatest strength. This simply may not be the right fit regardless, which isn't really anybody's fault. That tends to happen when regimes change.

The best case scenario for both sides at this point would be the Eagles take what they can get for Kendricks and give him a chance to play. In fact, it might be an upset if something doesn't go down this offseason.

LINEBACKERS UNDER CONTRACT

Mychal Kendricks
Age: 27*
Cap Number: $6,600,000

Even in 2015, widely considered a down year for Kendricks, he managed 3.0 sacks, three pass breakups and a forced fumble in 13 games. Last season, he finished with zero sacks, zero interceptions and zero forced fumbles. The only time Kendricks got his hands on a football was a lone pass breakup. Part of the issue seems to be player regression, which is going to drive his trade value down. Regardless, there's really no reason for the Eagles to keep him around at that price. It's awfully expensive for depth, especially considering he hasn't looked very good. Some new scenery might be what the doctor ordered for Kendricks at this point, because it hasn't been working out in Philadelphia for awhile.

Nigel Bradham
Age: 28*
Cap Number: $4,750,000

Bradham turned out to be an absolute steal for the Eagles in free agency, although that wasn't much of a surprise. His best season had been under Schwartz with the Bills in 2014, so there was a feeling he might find similar success back in the same scheme. Sure enough, Bradham led the Eagles with 102 tackles while recording 2.0 sacks, five pass breakups, an interception and two forced fumbles. There's still some lingering legal troubles out there, which might be the only reason he wouldn't get his two-year deal extended this offseason. If the Eagles feel comfortable that those charges will go away or with minimal repercussions, nor will this be a recurring theme for Bradham, it might be wise to work out something long-term now, before he hits the market again. They might even be able to lower his number for '17.

Jordan Hicks
Age: 25*
Cap Number: $796,183

Hicks answered any doubts about whether he could play in Schwartz's scheme, or hold up to the rigors of being a middle linebacker in the NFL in general. Many felt the second-year player was snubbed by Pro Bowl voters, as he finished with 85 tackles, 11 pass breakups and five interceptions — granted, two of those picks were in Week 17. Regardless of individual accolades, the Eagles have a linebacker in Hicks who can literally play in any scheme. Perhaps best of all, he's no eligible for a contract extension until 2018, so he's cost-controlled for another year. Then again, if Hicks keeps this up, he could be looking at something in the neighborhood of $10 million annually. Of course, that would be a small price to pay for his leadership, versatility and playmaking ability.

Kamu Grugier-Hill
Age: 23*
Cap Number: $540,000

A sixth-round draft pick by the Patriots, Grugier-Hill didn't make the 53-man roster our of training camp, and the Eagles pounced. He wound up playing exclusively on special teams, but proved to be a worthwhile investment there, making eight tackles in 12 games. Now Grugier-Hill will have a full season to pick up Schwartz's system and could compete for more work as a reserve, or even for a spot in the rotation.

Joe Walker
Age: 25*
Cap Number: $480,034

Walker was slated to be Hicks' backup at middle linebacker until suffering a torn ACL in training camp. Fortunately, the starter played all 16 games, anyway, but it's a lost year for a seventh-round rookie who would've been battling just to make the roster many other places. Seeing as the Eagles are likely to upgrade the position this offseason, he may find himself in that situation this camp around.

Don Cherry
Age: 23*

A late addition to the roster during camp last summer, the Villanova product eventually wound up landing on the practice squad, too, signing a futures contract at season end. Cherry initially caught on with the Bears as an undrafted rookie before landing on his feet with the Eagles, but the fact that he didn't make it to cut-down day with his first employer suggests his prospects aren't very good.

EXPIRING CONTRACTS

Stephen Tulloch
Age: 32*
2016 Cap Number: $2,500,000

The injury to Walked necessitated the Eagles go out and find a backup for Hicks, who has a long and distinguished injury history. On the bright side, Tulloch wasn't required to play too much. He has plenty of experience in wide-nine defenses and with Schwartz specifically, but all that experience also means he's at the tale-end of his career. That much seemed clear when he played extensively against the Lions in Week 5. Simply put, the Eagles need to find some young reserves to groom behind Hicks and Bradham, not go dumpster diving for the Tullochs of the world. It was a fine career, but there's a reason he was still available in August. Retirement seems like the next step here.

Najee Goode
Age: 28*
2016 Cap Number: $675,000

Goode signed a one-year deal with the Eagles, and while he wasn't needed to fill in much on defense, which he's done a fine job of in the past, he too was excellent on special teams. The five-year veteran had 10 tackles in 16 games while playing pretty much exclusively in the third phase. It will be interesting to see whether Goode draws more interest in free agency in '17. Goode can clearly help on special teams, and when he is pressed into the game on defense, he can definitely hold his own. It certainly wouldn't be a bad thing if the Eagles could bring him back given their depth issues at linebacker, especially if Kendricks is dealt. A one- or two-year deal right around $1 million annually seems fair and isn't going to break the bank.

Ben Simmons healing on schedule; Joel Embiid out tonight; Jahlil Okafor downgraded

Ben Simmons healing on schedule; Joel Embiid out tonight; Jahlil Okafor downgraded

Ben Simmons had a planned foot scan Monday in New York and is progressing as expected.

Simmons suffered a Jones fracture in his right foot nearly four months ago, Sept. 30, and there is still no timetable for his NBA debut.

Okafor downgraded
Jahlil Okafor was limited at shootaround Tuesday and has been downgraded to questionable for tonight's game against the Clippers. He had been listed as probable on Monday.

Okafor is dealing with right knee soreness he experienced on Saturday. The Sixers kept an eye on him Monday and held him out of 5-on-5 drills in practice. Okafor said the team was being cautious, and he wanted to rest his knee given the number of games coming up.

"It was bothering me a little bit in the warmup lines, I started to feel it. When I got going, it started feeling really good, then when I sat out for an extended period, it got kind of sore on me again," Okafor said Monday.

Embiid out
Joel Embiid, dealing with a left knee contusion suffered in last Friday's win over Portland, is officially out tonight. He is also expected to miss Wednesday's game at Milwaukee before returning Friday vs. the Rockets.