The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards

The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards

It's been another roller coaster season in the WNBA filled with ups and downs and women throwing the ball off the bottom of the backboard and right back into their own faces. In the East, the Chicago Sky (led by local hero Elana Delle Donne) have SKY'ED to the top of the standings, while out West, the Tulsa Shock have been shitting all over themselves, delivering another shit-filled summer to the shitty fans in their shitty city.

Perennial fan favorites like Tina Thompson, Jet "The Jet" Jett and Fancy Nancy Reagan have continued to amaze, while young stars such as Dr. Jane Naismith, Kevin Durant's fiancé and Wilma Rudolph Jr. have taken the ligg by storm.

So seeing as the past few months have been chest-pass-arrific©, let's give out The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards.

Most Incredible Layup

Oh man, there have been so many sweet layups so far this season: Right-handed layups, left-handed layups, OFF-DA-BACKBOARD layups. I even saw one layup that was meant to go off the backboard, but instead went over the backboard, into another player's hands, and then that player tried put it back in, missed, got her own rebound, back-dribbled off her foot, over to another player, who then collided with a different player, knocking the ball loose and causing six women TO SIMULTANEOUSLY CRASH TO THE FLOOR OH GOOD GOD THE HUMANITY.

Rookie of the Year

It's a two-horse race this summer between the former Blue Hen, Delle Donne, and the Phoenix Mercury's Britney Griner, last year's NCAA player of the year. EDD has been sensational for Chicago, but Griner has been HUGE for the Mercury, literally, she's by far the tallest woman on the planet. The first-born daughter of Gheorghe Muresan and a giraffe, Griner stands at 19 feet tall and averages over 300 points per game. Experts all over the country are debating which one of them has had the greater impact, so I asked University of Tennessee Head Coach, Imelda Marcos, who she thought has had the better start to her career.

Imelda Marcos: "I love shoes!"

Thanks, Imelda Marcos.

I'm giving the award to Delle Donne because she's prettier.

**Evster's Note** I'd just like to take a second to say that I actually sort of enjoy watching women's basketball, specifically the USA National Team, and feel kinda bad about making fun of the sport. Over the past 25 years, the women's team has consistently outperformed the men, winning seven of the past eight olympic gold medals while the men have only won six. I also recognize that any woman in the WNBA could destroy me on the court -- or in the bedroom -- and that I am a terrible and pathetic person. That being said, it's still really fun to rag on the WNBA, so let's continue with this mildly offensive, kinda sexist blog post. Next award!

Chick With the Biggest Rack

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidddddinnnnnggggggg.

Most Valuable Player

According to EmilyMaynard.com, the first half MVP has been Candace Parker of the Los Angeles Sparks. So yeah, that's great, I agree, Candace for MVP, whatever. But more importantly, did you know that Candace is married to former Duke and Atlanta Hawks SUPAHSTAH, Shelden "My Name is Shelden" Williams?!?!

It's true!

The couple married in 2008, and have a lovely 4-year-old daughter together, Lailaa, whose name is spelled with a ridiculous amount of A's. Lailaa is an aspiring soccer player and amateur artist, and recently drew this picture of her Mommy and Daddy.

Candace is the one wearing headphones.

Also that picture of Shelden is INCREDIBLE.

Based on her Instagram, it seems as if Parker is living a truly #blessed life, as evidenced by the fact that she recently met Mr. Belding!

Best Mascot

After googling "WNBA + mascots + I'm so very lonely", I discovered that the Houston Comets -- the former back-to-back-to-back-back (that's four backs!) champions -- are no longer a team! Can you believe it? Me neither! I'm actually being serious right now, that's friggin' really weird (and sad). Other teams who have folded are the Charlotte Sting, the Detroit Shock, the Cleveland Rockers, the Orlando Miracle, the Miami why do I keep naming teams this isn't even interesting. Anyway, that's pathetic that the team who won the league's first four championships had to fold. Not as pathetic as what's happened to Mr. Belding's career, but still.

Even sadder is the fact that Haley the Houston Comet, the weirdest-looking mascot in the history of mascots, is now dead! That lady was a total weirdo!

What is even going on there?!?!

#75?

So I guess now the Seattle Storm's mascot, Doppler, looks to be the league's best. Doppler is a big, furry, brown idiot whose favorite broadcaster (according to the Storm's website) is Hannah Storm. That's kinda funny, actually. Doppler's favorite movies are listed as Rain Man and Gone With the Wind. His favorite color is white lightning, which isn't even a real color, so now I sort of hate him. He might not even be a he. He might be a she. Explain to me why I chose to write about the WNBA again?

Best Kevin Durant's Fiancé

Monica Wright, Minnesota Lynx, hands down. She's the only player so far this year to get engaged to the NBA superstar. I could tell you more about the young lovers -- like the fact that they met years ago at the McDonald's game -- but instead let's just check out Monica's Instagram account, because clearly that's the only research I'm capable of doing.

Here's Monica and KD getting ready to go paddle boarding. Interesting that Durant is goin' with the "Hang Loose" Hawaii hand gesture while Monica is throwin' down deuces like her name was MC Ren.

Monica posted these pics over the past couple of Wednesdays, giving props to that Geico Humpday commercial (WHICH I LOVE). Not only did she post a screenshot of the spot, she also recently bought a t-shirt featuring the camel. I love this woman.

And this is her dog wearing sunglasses!

So there you have it, folks. You're all caught up on the wonderful world of the WNBA.

You're welcome!

You can follow the future Mrs. Kevin Durant on Twitter @Monnie22. You can also follow The Evster @TVMWW, or Imelda Marcos @ThePhilippinesFinest.

Best of MLB: Mike Trout (thumb) leaves early as Marlins crush Angels

Best of MLB: Mike Trout (thumb) leaves early as Marlins crush Angels

MIAMI -- Mike Trout sprained his left thumb stealing second base Sunday, and the Los Angeles Angels took a thumping without him, losing 9-2 to the Miami Marlins.

Trout yelled in pain as he rose after sliding headfirst in the fifth inning. He was examined by a trainer, stayed in the game, but was replaced in the sixth. X-rays were negative, and there was no immediate timetable regarding his return.

The reigning American League MVP was 0 for 2 when he departed with the Angels trailing 4-2. He finished 2 for 9 in the series to drop his average to .337 (see full recap).

Aaron Judge hit first-career grand slam in Yankees' win
NEW YORK -- Aaron Judge hit his first career grand slam and the New York Yankees took full advantage of Oakland's shoddy defense Sunday in a 9-5 victory over the Athletics.

Michael Pineda (6-2) tossed six innings of three-hit ball to win his third straight start. Aaron Hicks and Chris Carter each had an early sacrifice fly as the AL East leaders scored five unearned runs and took two of three in a well-pitched series.

Judge connected with two outs in the third for his 16th home run, tying Mike Trout of the Angels for the big league lead. The drive landed in the right-field seats, not far in front of The Judge's Chambers cheering section installed by the Yankees for the start of this 4-2 homestand.

Khris Davis hit his 15th home run for the A's, who committed two more costly errors to raise their season total to 49. They began the day with 10 more than any other team in the majors.

The fielding failures put starter Andrew Triggs (5-4) in tough situations. He went six innings and gave up one earned run (see full recap).

Miguel Gonzalez loses perfect game in seventh, but pitches White Sox to win
CHICAGO -- Miguel Gonzalez took a perfect game into the seventh inning, Todd Frazier hit a two-run homer and the Chicago White Sox beat the Detroit Tigers 7-3 on Sunday.

Melky Cabrera and Matt Davidson also connected, helping the White Sox take three of four in the series. David Robertson got two outs for his seventh save.

Gonzalez (4-5) allowed three runs and six hits in 7 2/3 innings while snapping a five-start losing streak. The right-hander struck out six and walked none.

Gonzalez retired his first 18 batters before Andrew Romine led off the seventh with a hard one-hop liner to shortstop Tim Anderson, who couldn't field the ball cleanly and was originally charged with an error. Alex Avila followed with a single into to right field, and Romine's ball was later changed to a hit (see full recap).

Gone but not forgotten: Joel Embiid remembers Harambe on 1-year anniversary of death

Gone but not forgotten: Joel Embiid remembers Harambe on 1-year anniversary of death

Gone, but not forgotten … as long as Sixers superstar center Joel Embiid has his way.

On the one-year anniversary of Harambe's death, Embiid remembered the slain gorilla on Instagram with the caption: "Gone but never forgotten #RIPHarambe."

The Instagram post was accompanied by a picture of Harambe along with a longer message and acquired over 22,700 likes within the first 37 minutes of its posting.

Gone but never forgotten #RIPHarambe

A post shared by Joel "The Process" Embiid (@joelembiid) on

There are some factual errors in Embiid's post, however. The picture stated that Harambe "would've been 18 today," which was posted Sunday.

Harambe's birthday was May 27, 1999. He would have been 18 years and one day old Sunday.

This was not Embiid's first participation in the Harambe Internet meme.

Regardless, the tragic killing of Harambe, a popular male gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo, sparked outrage and then Harambe became an Internet meme.