The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards

The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards

It's been another roller coaster season in the WNBA filled with ups and downs and women throwing the ball off the bottom of the backboard and right back into their own faces. In the East, the Chicago Sky (led by local hero Elana Delle Donne) have SKY'ED to the top of the standings, while out West, the Tulsa Shock have been shitting all over themselves, delivering another shit-filled summer to the shitty fans in their shitty city.

Perennial fan favorites like Tina Thompson, Jet "The Jet" Jett and Fancy Nancy Reagan have continued to amaze, while young stars such as Dr. Jane Naismith, Kevin Durant's fiancé and Wilma Rudolph Jr. have taken the ligg by storm.

So seeing as the past few months have been chest-pass-arrific©, let's give out The Evster's Midseason WNBA Awards.

Most Incredible Layup

Oh man, there have been so many sweet layups so far this season: Right-handed layups, left-handed layups, OFF-DA-BACKBOARD layups. I even saw one layup that was meant to go off the backboard, but instead went over the backboard, into another player's hands, and then that player tried put it back in, missed, got her own rebound, back-dribbled off her foot, over to another player, who then collided with a different player, knocking the ball loose and causing six women TO SIMULTANEOUSLY CRASH TO THE FLOOR OH GOOD GOD THE HUMANITY.

Rookie of the Year

It's a two-horse race this summer between the former Blue Hen, Delle Donne, and the Phoenix Mercury's Britney Griner, last year's NCAA player of the year. EDD has been sensational for Chicago, but Griner has been HUGE for the Mercury, literally, she's by far the tallest woman on the planet. The first-born daughter of Gheorghe Muresan and a giraffe, Griner stands at 19 feet tall and averages over 300 points per game. Experts all over the country are debating which one of them has had the greater impact, so I asked University of Tennessee Head Coach, Imelda Marcos, who she thought has had the better start to her career.

Imelda Marcos: "I love shoes!"

Thanks, Imelda Marcos.

I'm giving the award to Delle Donne because she's prettier.

**Evster's Note** I'd just like to take a second to say that I actually sort of enjoy watching women's basketball, specifically the USA National Team, and feel kinda bad about making fun of the sport. Over the past 25 years, the women's team has consistently outperformed the men, winning seven of the past eight olympic gold medals while the men have only won six. I also recognize that any woman in the WNBA could destroy me on the court -- or in the bedroom -- and that I am a terrible and pathetic person. That being said, it's still really fun to rag on the WNBA, so let's continue with this mildly offensive, kinda sexist blog post. Next award!

Chick With the Biggest Rack

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidddddinnnnnggggggg.

Most Valuable Player

According to EmilyMaynard.com, the first half MVP has been Candace Parker of the Los Angeles Sparks. So yeah, that's great, I agree, Candace for MVP, whatever. But more importantly, did you know that Candace is married to former Duke and Atlanta Hawks SUPAHSTAH, Shelden "My Name is Shelden" Williams?!?!

It's true!

The couple married in 2008, and have a lovely 4-year-old daughter together, Lailaa, whose name is spelled with a ridiculous amount of A's. Lailaa is an aspiring soccer player and amateur artist, and recently drew this picture of her Mommy and Daddy.

Candace is the one wearing headphones.

Also that picture of Shelden is INCREDIBLE.

Based on her Instagram, it seems as if Parker is living a truly #blessed life, as evidenced by the fact that she recently met Mr. Belding!

Best Mascot

After googling "WNBA + mascots + I'm so very lonely", I discovered that the Houston Comets -- the former back-to-back-to-back-back (that's four backs!) champions -- are no longer a team! Can you believe it? Me neither! I'm actually being serious right now, that's friggin' really weird (and sad). Other teams who have folded are the Charlotte Sting, the Detroit Shock, the Cleveland Rockers, the Orlando Miracle, the Miami why do I keep naming teams this isn't even interesting. Anyway, that's pathetic that the team who won the league's first four championships had to fold. Not as pathetic as what's happened to Mr. Belding's career, but still.

Even sadder is the fact that Haley the Houston Comet, the weirdest-looking mascot in the history of mascots, is now dead! That lady was a total weirdo!

What is even going on there?!?!

#75?

So I guess now the Seattle Storm's mascot, Doppler, looks to be the league's best. Doppler is a big, furry, brown idiot whose favorite broadcaster (according to the Storm's website) is Hannah Storm. That's kinda funny, actually. Doppler's favorite movies are listed as Rain Man and Gone With the Wind. His favorite color is white lightning, which isn't even a real color, so now I sort of hate him. He might not even be a he. He might be a she. Explain to me why I chose to write about the WNBA again?

Best Kevin Durant's Fiancé

Monica Wright, Minnesota Lynx, hands down. She's the only player so far this year to get engaged to the NBA superstar. I could tell you more about the young lovers -- like the fact that they met years ago at the McDonald's game -- but instead let's just check out Monica's Instagram account, because clearly that's the only research I'm capable of doing.

Here's Monica and KD getting ready to go paddle boarding. Interesting that Durant is goin' with the "Hang Loose" Hawaii hand gesture while Monica is throwin' down deuces like her name was MC Ren.

Monica posted these pics over the past couple of Wednesdays, giving props to that Geico Humpday commercial (WHICH I LOVE). Not only did she post a screenshot of the spot, she also recently bought a t-shirt featuring the camel. I love this woman.

And this is her dog wearing sunglasses!

So there you have it, folks. You're all caught up on the wonderful world of the WNBA.

You're welcome!

You can follow the future Mrs. Kevin Durant on Twitter @Monnie22. You can also follow The Evster @TVMWW, or Imelda Marcos @ThePhilippinesFinest.

Looming free agent Manny Machado puts Maikel Franco on the clock

Looming free agent Manny Machado puts Maikel Franco on the clock

CLEARWATER, Fla. – You hear it a lot at this time of year.

This is a big year for (fill in the name).

The 2017 season will be a big one for a lot of Phillies. This team remains an active construction site building for a better day, and the front office is sitting upstairs making a list of who fits into the future and who doesn’t.

So it’s a big year for Freddy Galvis to see if he can improve his on-base skills and hold off J.P. Crawford.

It’s a big year for Cesar Hernandez to see if his strong second half in 2016 was a young player really getting it, a sign of good things to come or just a three-month hot streak.

It’s a big year for Tommy Joseph as he tries to build on a nice big-league debut and hold off hard-charging Rhys Hoskins.

But when it comes to establishing oneself as a long-term part of this team’s foundation, Maikel Franco might have the biggest challenge of all among Phillies position players.

Yes, Franco belted 25 homers and drove in 88 runs last year, and those were surely impressive totals for a player of his age (23) hitting in a lineup where he was a marked man with little protection on a team that did not put many runners on base — that .301 team on-base percentage ranked 29th in the majors.

Despite huge upside, Franco’s game has some shortcomings. He is a free-swinger with poor on-base skills — he had a .306 on-base percentage last season and saw just 3.56 pitches per at-bat, ranking him 34th in the majors — and if you’ve been paying attention to what has come out of general manager Matt Klentak’s mouth in his 16 months on the job, you know that he values players who “control the strike zone” — both at the plate and on the mound.

Klentak and his lieutenants in the front office also place a premium on defense and Franco, despite good hands and a rocket arm, does not grade out near the top among major league third basemen, mostly because of his range, in advanced metrics. He ranked 12th out of 18 qualifying third basemen in runs saved (minus 6) last season.

Proof of this front office’s affinity for on-base skills and defensive acumen can be seen in center field and in that $30.5 million bulge in Odubel Herrera’s wallet. Herrera got on base more than 35 percent of the time his first two seasons in the majors and he grades out well in the advanced defensive metrics used by this team’s decision makers. All of this, along with his youth — he’s 25 — and projected upside led the front office to give Herrera a five-year contract extension this winter. Call it a statement of the type of player that this front office is looking for.

Franco can improve his flaws, particularly at the plate. He’s already hard at work trying to do so with new hitting coach Matt Stairs.

But why is it so pressing that he does? Why is this year such a big one for Franco?

Because he is entering his third season as a regular and the front office probably needs to know that the improvement is coming. Even as they construct their roster and prepare for the 2017 season here in spring training, this front office has its telescope out and is peering at future free-agent markets. Club president Andy MacPhail basically said that last week. In 2017, Maikel Franco has to convince this front office not to put Manny Machado in its sights. The superstar Baltimore Orioles third baseman will hit the free agent market after the 2018 season at the tender age of 26 and if you think his projected megadeal will be too rich for the Phillies then think again. Owner John Middleton has promised to spend big again when the team is ready to win.

In December at the winter meetings, Klentak was asked about some of the astronomical numbers being attached to the talent-rich free-agent class that is coming after the 2018 season. Could he see paying players $200 million, $300 million, $400 million when the time comes?

“I won’t put a dollar figure on anything,” Klentak said that day. “Markets develop the way that they develop and player values change over time. But I don’t have any doubt that this franchise will make significant investments when the time is right.”

Investing in a player like Machado could make long-term sense for the Phillies because he has the type of rangy body that often holds up past 35 and he could take his bat to first base when he’s older and done at third. Yes, it would take a long-term deal, probably at least seven years to get Machado.

Franco can throw cold water on this admittedly premature postulating by making improvements at the plate this season.

If he doesn’t show enough improvement or make the front office believe that it will eventually come, he could be a trade candidate and the Phillies could plug at third while they wait to make their run at Machado.

Franco knows his shortcomings and is working on them.

You could see it in batting practice Monday as he consciously tried to drive balls to right-center.

You could see it Friday as he stood in the outfield and talked hitting with new teammate Howie Kendrick. Kendrick mimicked a hitter driving the ball up the middle. Franco then did the same thing and nodded.

“I love to hit and sometimes I get excited,” Franco said. “I am concentrating on being more selective and using the middle of the field, not trying to do too much.”

Stairs has assigned Franco and Galvis to the same batting practice group as Kendrick.

“Howie has that gap-to-gap approach and I want Maikel and Freddy to see that every day,” Stairs said.

Stairs is convinced that if Franco stays with the approach he will “give away” fewer at-bats and become a tougher out in 2017 “and then you will see the on-base numbers come up.”

Franco needs to make these improvements if he’s going to have a long-range future with a team that is building through the concept of controlling the strike zone.

It’s a big year for him and the looming shadow of the ‘man’ in Baltimore makes it all that much bigger and intriguing.

MLB Notes: Alex Rodriguez, Nick Swisher to be guest instructors at Yankees spring training

MLB Notes: Alex Rodriguez, Nick Swisher to be guest instructors at Yankees spring training

TAMPA, Fla. -- Nick Swisher has arrived as a New York Yankees guest spring training instructor and Alex Rodriguez is on deck.

Swisher worked with outfielders Monday during his first day, which came three days after announcing his retirement as a player.

"I never have to worry about an 0 for 4 again," Swisher said with a smile. "It's great to be back."

A-Rod is set to make his initial appearance Tuesday.

"He's going to work with our players," New York manager Joe Girardi said. "Dispense knowledge that he has about how to play the game when he talks to the young kids, some of the expectations about how to deal with it. All the things Alex did well."

Rodriguez and Swisher were also guest instructors with the Yankees instructional league team last fall (see full story).

Giants: Cueto to miss start of spring training to be with ailing father
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. -- Johnny Cueto remains in his native Dominican Republic helping his ailing father a week after pitchers and catchers reported to spring training.

The Giants plan to reach out to him to see how he is doing and whether he thinks he will pitch for his country in the World Baseball Classic.

San Francisco manager Bruce Bochy is not worried about Cueto's preparation. The right-hander has been throwing and working out regularly at the club's academy. Bochy says the World Baseball Classic is "starting to cause a slight concern."

Cueto signed a $130 million, six-year contract before last season. He went 18-5 with a 2.79 ERA and five complete games in 32 starts last year (see full story).

Red Sox: Moreland not worried about replacing Ortiz
FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Mitch Moreland knows he's likely the only new player in Boston's lineup since David Ortiz retired at the end of last season.

He's just not listening to those who say he needs to replace Big Papi's lofty production.

"I try not to hear it because there's no replacing that guy," said the 31-year-old first baseman, who signed a $5.5-million, 1-year deal with the Red Sox during the offseason.

"I think it's going to be more of a team effort," he said. "Obviously we picked up two big arms as well, and it's a very balanced club."

After playing his first 6+ seasons in the majors with the Texas Rangers, Moreland is with a new organization for the first time in his career. So far, he said, the move has been smooth (see full story).

Mariners: Paxton expected to have a big year
PEORIA, Arizona -- Forget the batter's box, pitching mound or anywhere else between the chalk lines of a baseball field.

According to Seattle Mariners manager Scott Servais, the location of one of the biggest obstacles blocking a player from consistently excelling isn't on the diamond.

"A lot of it with that last hurdle is between your ears," Servais said at the Peoria Sports Complex.

Servais believes starting pitcher James Paxton cleared that bar last season, and the Mariners are expecting the 28-year-old left-hander to be a major contributor in 2017 for a team that looks to end Major League Baseball's longest current postseason drought.

"He is one of the guys ready to take the next step and be a real anchor in our rotation," Servais said.

Paxton is preparing to improve on his 6-7 record and 3.79 earned run average of 2016. He enters spring training locked into a spot in the starting rotation. That puts him in a different position than in a year ago, when he was battling for a spot (see full story).