The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MEATBALLS THE OLYMPICS?!

Seriously, how awesome are meatballs the Olympics?! Take this survey or just forget about it and go get some meatballs to see if you are a certified Winter Olympics SUPERFAN!

Ready?!

WHO CARES!

source: lhric.org

What are your thoughts on five-time Olympic gold medalist, Bonnie Blair?

a) Amazing athlete, seems like a genuinely nice person, one of the worst haircuts in the history of Western civilization.
b) Honestly, nothing about her matters besides that haircut.
c) I once knew this lady who was born without feet, and she had a nicer haircut than Bonnie Blizz.

Do you believe in miracles?

a) I believe Al Michaels is a dorf.
b) If Jared Leto wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, then yes, I believe in miracles.
c) It was a miracle every time Bonnie Blair walked around in public with that haircut.

Two words: Jeremy Bloom

a) I legitimately thought he was going to become the next Vai Sikahema.
b) I had no idea that Vai Sikahema would become the next Greg Gumbel.
c) That's an insult to Greg Gumbel.

source: whocares.com

What is the most amazing thing about this picture of Alberto Tomba?

a) The lady in pink looking up longingly at Tomba la Bomba.
b) Tomba's la Bomba
c) The dude on the right rockin' a Channel 6 Action News hat?

Better ski jumper? Nøørven Glürgenbørgvs or Riklabst Bendtqkvøst?

a) C'mon, obviously Glürgenbørgvs!
b) Dude, are you kidding me? Bendtqkvøst!
c) I'm sorry, this is so stupid. Let's move on.

Who has had a better post-Olympic career, Apollo Ohno or this trash can? 

a) Well, let's see, Ohno was on Dancing With the Stars, and then he did Subway commercials, and now he's oh obviously it's the trash can.
b) That's honestly a pretty nice trash can.
c) First of all, that is not a nice trash can. It's all dented and it's full of garbage. Still way cooler than Apollo's stupid stupid STUPID soul patch.

Did you watch Johnny Weir's reality show? Be honest. 

a) yes

Whom do you prefer? Herschel Walker the football player or Herschel Walker the bobsledder?

a) Well, considering Herschel Walker was singlehandedly responsible for building the Cowboys dynasty, I've gotta go with Herschel the bobsledder.
b) I dunno, Herschel the football player had a pretty good career. And he had a decent run with the Eagles. He was gay, right?
c) I had an Uncle Herschel who loved corned beef and I am not making that up.

How amazing was the Jamaican bobsled team?

a) Dude, they crashed on every run. I loved them.
b) The AUDACITY of them to even sign up. Incredible.
c) I am sad to report that I have never seen the movie Cool Runnings. My life is meaningless.

Remember when Dan Jansen's sister died and then he slipped and fell and it was really sad?

a) And then he kept slipping and falling! Every single time! He seriously sucked.
b) Ugh, that look on his face when he was just sitting on the ice in disbelief? I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle how he just kept embarrassing his country over and over and over again.
c) I'm sorry I really am.

source: DonPollackLookalikes.com

Favorite Winter Olympic athlete OF ALL TIME

a) Katarina Witt, no doubt. Her beauty, the way she looked, her physical characteristics, her appearance, how pretty she was, the way she bathed in a pool of flowers with her melon butt rising from the water omg you have to click this.
b) Eddie the Eagle, hands down the worst athlete to ever appear in any Olympic games. It's not even close. Those glasses!
c) Sidney Crosby lol

Are you prepared for Mary Carillo's human interest stories?

a) No.
b) Nope!
c) How many pants suits do you think she owns? 20? 30? I'd say 90.

Results: Congrattauulatastions! You just read the stupidest post in the 700 Level's history! Consider yourself a certified Olympics superfan. And a giant dorf.

Follow The Evster @TVMWW

Instant Replay: Reds 8, Phillies 4

Instant Replay: Reds 8, Phillies 4

BOX SCORE

Zach Eflin allowed a career-high four home runs and the Phillies were outslugged by the Cincinnati Reds in an 8-4 defeat on Sunday at Citizens Bank Park.

The Phils have now lost nine consecutive series for the first time since 19977. The loss was their 22nd in 28 games. The Reds, who took two of three, picked up their first series win at CBP since Aug. 2006. 

Eflin was roughed up for the third consecutive start. The Reds tagged him for seven runs in just five innings. After three hits led to a run in the first inning, he gave up home runs in each of his last four frames. Following the game, Efllin was optioned to Triple A Lehigh Valley.

Jeanmar Gomez allowed a solo home run in relief. 

Andrew Knapp gave the Phillies an early lead with a three-run homer during a four-run second inning. However, three double plays stifled the Phillies' offense, which was held scoreless after the second. 

Scott Feldman improved to 4-4 with the win for the Reds. The Phils dropped to 17-31 while the Reds improved to 24-25. 

Starting pitching report
Eflin stumbled through five innings, allowing nine hits. He had held opponents to just four homers in first six starts, but has now has let up seven in his last two appearances. Over his past three starts, Eflin's been tagged for 22 runs in 15 innings. He's given up at least nine hits in all five May starts. 

A poor sign for Eflin: Only two of his outs came on the ground. The Reds were all over his fastball and scored in each of his five innings. His ERA has gone from 2.81 to 6.13 since May 17.

Feldman labored through a 32-pitch second inning in which he gave up four runs. He settled down afterward with a pair of double plays to get through five innings. The veteran righty struck out the last two batters he faced with a man on third and one out.

Bullpen report
Luis Garcia threw two shutout innings, striking out one. Jeanmar Gomez gave up rookie Patrick Kivlehan's second home run of the day in the ninth inning, snapping the Phillies' bullpen's scoreless streak at 23 2/3 innings. Gomez allowed three hits and the one run in two innings.

Blake Wood, Wandy Peralta, Drew Storen and Raisel Iglesias each threw shutout innings in relief of Feldman.

At the plate
Manager Pete Mackanin wanted the Phillies to string together 4-5 hits and they did so in the second inning. Tommy Joseph and Michael Saunders led off with back-to-back singles before Knapp drove them in with his 434-foot blast. Knapp laid off two high fastballs after falling behind 0-2 and drilled a curveball into the Phillies' bullpen.

Freddy Galvis followed with a double. Even Eflin aided the cause with his first career RBI on a run-scoring single. 

The top two in the order — Cesar Hernandez and Odubel Herrera — went 0 for 8. Everyone else in the lineup had at least one hit. Saunders and Aaron Altherr each had two hits while Ty Kelly had a pinch-hit double.

Adam Duvall, Scott Schebler and Kivlehan combined for five home runs with Duvall and Kivlehan notching multi-hit games. Jose Peraza and Zack Cozart extended their hitting streaks to 13 and 11 games, respectively, in the first inning.

Up next
The Phillies head on the road and begin a three-game set with the Miami Marlins, whom they beat twice in April at Citizens Bank Park.

Monday, 7:10 p.m. — Jeremy Hellickson (5-2, 4.28) vs. Edinson Volquez (0-7, 4.82)
Tuesday, 7:10 p.m.— Vince Velasquez (2-4, 5.55) vs. Justin Nicolino (0-1, 5.40)
Wednesday, 1:10 p.m. — Aaron Nola (2-2, 4.34) vs. Dan Straily (3.83)

Thinking man's pitcher, Phillies prospect Cole Irvin enjoying time with Clearwater

Thinking man's pitcher, Phillies prospect Cole Irvin enjoying time with Clearwater

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Clearwater Threshers pitcher Cole Irvin is a student of baseball, but maybe the word “student” – simply stated and in its base meaning – describes the young left-hander best.

A graduate of the University of Oregon who completed his undergraduate degree in sociology in just 3½ years, Irvin has applied a studious, methodical approach to his work on the mound, where he starred as a freshman and senior for the Ducks as a regular Friday night starter.

His 2014 collegiate season was marred by Tommy John surgery, but he reflects on it now as being an important part of him staying in college and obtaining his degree. He remained in Eugene another semester after getting drafted by Pittsburgh in the 32nd round, his second time getting selected.

“I look at it as a positive. I wouldn’t have been able to finish my degree at Oregon if I didn’t have the surgery,” said Irvin, who was drafted in the fifth round by the Phillies last June.

“Sociology covers so many topics. It’s a great degree to have. My studies varied from the population of salmon affecting society to the study of social media. There was so much I learned in so many diverse topics. I like interacting because everyone’s opinion mattered.”

The sociological background also easily translates to the diamond for the 6-foot-4, 190-pound Irvin.

“It’s the same in baseball. The more information you have about the opposing team, our team, if we’re doing the shift and other things… now you have all that collected information. Now you just go do your thing. I think I apply (sociology) to so many different aspects of what I do,” he said.

Sociology aside, Clearwater pitching coach Aaron Fultz has been impressed with the mental approach Irvin has displayed.

“Very (much so),” replied Fultz when asked if the southpaw is the quintessential cerebral pitcher. “He’s a no frills guy and he’s here to work.”

Fultz broke in to MLB and played three seasons with the San Francisco Giants – 2000 to 2002 – and the former big leaguer said Irvin reminds him from a work ethic standpoint of a Bay Area teammate of his.

“He kind of reminds me of Jeff Kent. He comes here and he wants to work and get better,” said Fultz of Irvin, who also bears a slight resemblance to the five-time all-star and 2000 NL MVP of the Giants.

That industrious attitude worked well for Irvin in his first spring training camp in the Grapefruit League in February. He broke camp by bypassing Low A Lakewood and joining the Threshers. Then he proceeded to overwhelm hitters in the Florida State League.

Irvin, 23, was 3-1 in four starts in April, posting a 1.04 ERA. In 26 innings, he allowed 22 hits, struck out 20 and walked just three. His WHIP stood at 0.96.

“His first four or five starts, I thought he was the best pitcher in the league,” Fultz said. “Since then, we’ve had a little hiccup here and there about location and just giving up some hits. He’s had some bad luck, too.

“But I love the way he goes about his business. He gets the ball and he’s ready to pitch. He has a very good idea and is a smart kid. He doesn’t throw 95, but he’s left-handed – that helps – and he has a really good change-up. His stuff is better than average, but his tenacity and the way he goes after hitters is a really good selling point for him.”

Irvin said he tries not read what is written about him or the multitude of numbers baseball produces.

“The past three outings haven’t gone the way I’ve anticipated, especially after the first five starts of the year,” said Irvin, who is 3-5 with a 3.20 ERA after four straight losses starting on May 4 against Jupiter.

He will try to break that winless skid on Tuesday when he faces Florida back in Clearwater.

Of his standout first pro season at short-season Williamsport last year (5-1, 1.97 in 10 games), Irvin admitted he doesn’t look at the stats, saying, “Honestly, I don’t know the numbers. I don’t get ahead of myself and look at stats. Every once in a while, I’ll look at media stuff, but I try not to follow that stuff.

“Once it gets in your head, you start to get anxious about moving up and thinking about things you’re not supposed to be thinking about. I’m supposed to be thinking right now, ‘What can I do to get better and get to the big leagues?’ It’s not about being in the minor leagues; it’s about being in the big leagues.”

Irvin has enjoyed his season so far and, like a good sociology student, is harvesting his own data.

“There’s a lot to build off of. It’s my first full season, so it’s exciting to spend a whole year playing baseball and doing something you love and is fun. It’s something I’ve dreamed of as a kid,” he said.

“I never thought I’d be here this quick, so I’m taking it one day at a time. I can only focus on this day, and tomorrow will come tomorrow.”
 
Three questions with Cole Irvin

You throw a one-seam fastball. What does it do?

“It’s literally across one seam, holding it with one finger. It depends on the wrist. If it’s on the side of the ball, it’s going to fade (versus righty batters). But if your wrist is more on the inside toward your body, it’s going to cut. I only use it as a strikeout pitch. [Laughing] I’d say it’s a wipe-out pitch, but I don’t have wipe-out stuff like most of the guys on this team. It’s an effect pitch, where there’s a little uncertainty where it’ll go.”

You’re from Yorba Linda, CA, the birthplace of Richard Nixon and home of the Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum. Have any good Nixon stories?

“Actually, I do. When I was 12, I had to do community service for the high school I was going to go to. I had to have so many hours. The library was looking for someone to clean the helicopter – Air Force One helicopter or whatever it was called. Every Sunday morning I’d show up at 5:30 a.m. to clean that helicopter. I had to go through the Secret Service back door and security checks. I was 12, so there wasn’t much information on me. I spent four or five Sundays cleaning that helicopter. It was so much fun.”

As an Oregon Duck, you were able to play in the Civil War against the Oregon State Beavers and New York Mets outfielder Michael Conforto. Any success?

“My senior year was the first time we’ve ever gone to Goss Stadium and won a series at Oregon State. I pitched against Conforto and also played with him on the Team USA collegiate team that had (Chicago Cubs star Kyle) Schwarber. Honestly, Michael’s one of the great guys to know and talk to. He’s just a world-class, awesome guy.”