@FakeWIPCaller's Essential 2013 Eagles Preview: 10 Things I Hate About the Eagles

@FakeWIPCaller's Essential 2013 Eagles Preview: 10 Things I Hate About the Eagles

For all those years, every true Eagles fan prayed that one day, we'd at last be rid of Joe Banner, Donovan McNabb, and Andy Reid. One by one, we got our wish. So why does being an Eagles fan still suck?

Here are ten reasons why, counting down:

10. Michael Vick, whose last playoff win was in 2005, is still here.

9. So is Jeffrey Lurie, whose trophy priorities were clearly Oscar first, wife second, Lombardi third.

8. For our two new coordinators, we raided the coaching staff of last year's 5-11 Cleveland Browns team.

7. The Riley Cooper double standard.

6. Our defense sucks. In the preseason, we gave up scoring drives to the likes of Tim Tebow and Matt Simms, who's the fourth string quarterback on the Jets and the third-string quarterback in his own family. And for some reason Nate Allen, Kurt Coleman, and Casey Matthews are all still on the team.

5. Our GM is still Howie Roseman, a man with the look and demeanor of a freshman accounting major and the football knowledge to match, with a speaking voice that resembles that of Pee Wee Herman before he went through puberty. Naturally, they gave him his own radio show.

4. Now I hear the Birds are using "analytics"? Please. The only analytic I care about is how hard you can smash people in the mouth.

3. On Thursday, Cary Williams and Riley Cooper got into a fight at practice, one caught on video as Chip Kelly's loud, silly music played. In training camp alone, Cooper was videotaped using a racial slur, and even worse, Williams talked about sconces. It's good that Michael Vick was there to break up the altercation, because if anyone knows how to referee a fight, it's Vick.

2. I can see getting excited about Chip Kelly- he did show up at Wing Bowl, after all, and he's agreed to appear every Monday morning with Angelo. But his coaching was clearly so indispensable to Oregon that they won their first game without him 66-3.

1. Clearly, Donovan McNabb will never, ever go away. He's coming back to get his number retired in Week 3- and Andy's coming too. McNabb gives local interviews all the time, sports websites run long features about him, and he's got national TV and radio shows too. Hasn't Philadelphia been sending the message, since April 1999, that we're sick of this guy?

For week one the key, of course, is to knock RG3 out of the game as early as possible. But if we can't win that one, it's going to be a long season. And if they can't beat Andy in week 3? I'm done.

Other Philly sports takes:

- There was a local column last week asking why, among the two recently retired star Philly athletes, Allen Iverson is beloved and McNabb is not. Please. Iverson may have become a hardcore alcoholic, but did he ever vomit during a game? There's your answer.

- We all know how much crap Philly gets from the media in the rest of the country. So I want to send special thanks to Marcus Hayes, for repping us with pride in other cities.

- This Roger Bernadina looks like the real deal. Big mistake if the Phillies don't lock him up long-term.

- I saw Cleveland released Brett Myers- why don't the Phils bring him back? I mean, what did that guy ever do that was so wrong?

- I loved that Deadspin story about how the Phillies and Eagles players used to share a large stash of porno magazines at the Vet. I used to bring my own, but their idea was even better.

- Will you still root for the Sixers after they move to Newark?

 Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter; he'll be live-tweeting the Eagles game Monday night. 

Union see 4-game winning streak end in shutout loss to Real Salt Lake

Union see 4-game winning streak end in shutout loss to Real Salt Lake

BOX SCORE

SANDY, Utah -- Joao Plata scored his first goal of the season and Real Salt Lake beat the Union, 1-0, on Saturday night to snap Philadelphia's club-record winning streak at four games.

Plata tapped in his goal in the 36th minute after quickly exchanging short passes twice with Jefferson Savarino. Tony Beltran got the play started by saving the ball just before it went over the goal line.

The Union (4-5-5) had a chance to tie it in stoppage time, but goalie Nick Rimando blocked Haris Medunjanin's belt-high free kick and Salt Lake (4-8-2) cleared it after a scramble in front of the net.

Union goalkeeper Andre Blake made seven saves.

Howie Kendrick makes 4th rehab appearance in Lehigh Valley

Howie Kendrick makes 4th rehab appearance in Lehigh Valley

Howie Kendrick on Saturday night made his fourth rehab appearance in Triple A during Lehigh Valley's 13-1 rout of the Louisville Bats in Allentown.

Kendrick went 1 for 5 with a run scored and three strikeouts. He also grounded into a double play and left two runners in scoring position.

It was his second rehab game playing third base. He played third during his appearance in the IronPigs' 8-4 loss Thursday to the Indianapolis Indians. He was 0 for 1 in three plate appearances with a run scored and was hit by a pitch twice (see story).

The Phillies' plan for Kendrick was to have him play a minimum four games at Lehigh Valley. He played left field in two games and third base twice. Pete Mackanin said Wednesday that Kendrick would also get a game at first base but he hasn't gotten a game at first yet.

There is a chance Kendrick could be recalled Sunday before the Phillies’ series finale against the Cincinnati Reds depending on how he feels.

Kendrick has been sidelined since April 15 with an oblique strain. In 10 games before the injury, Kendrick went 13 for 39 (.333) with five extra-base hits and four walks while exclusively playing left field.