I have an intense fascination with Jay Culter's mannerisms and facial expressions. And you know what? I'm not the only one. These guys seem pretty on board, too.
When Cutler was dealt from Denver to Chicago a few seasons back, I was largely apathetic about the now "embattled" quarterback. The guy was young and had a lot of hype surrounding him and seemed sort of whiny and frequently overthrew receivers and that was about it.
But I was wrong to be apathetic. There's more to Cutler than I previously assumed. A lot more. And it's in his face.
To begin, I know very little about the guy. I've never met him, never spoken with him and have seen very few quotes from him that would lead me to have any insight into his general or specific thought processes.
Still, the more I watch Cutler, the more I become convinced that he does not enjoy playing professional football. I am under that impression, because it's written all over his face.
Say what you will about the general bullshit that surrounded the "backyard enthusiasm" of Brett Favre, but there are guys in the league who outwardly evidence that they find enjoyment in their profession. Cutler doesn't appear to be one of them.
Then again, who could blame him?
He's a guy who gets the living hell beat out of him every week behind a non-existent offensive line, and then gets criticized for not being "tough enough." He's a guy with semi-other-worldly talent who just can't seem to fit it all together, and who isn't necessarily being given the tools to do it. He's a guy who looks like he's absolutely miserable, and it's because so sullen that he's draws the ire of the public.
I've never been repeatedly smacked to the ground by 300-pound pass rushers; I've never had the mantle of "The Man Whose Arm is Going to Solve a Decades-Long Passing Problem in Chicago" bestowed upon me; I've never been criticized for not playing with a torn ACL; so, I can't tell Jay to try doing all of this with a smile of his face.
But, Jay, you might want to try doing all this with a smile on your face.
Sure, I root for you, but that's because I have generally "contrarian" tendencies, legitimately sympathize with your situation and, yet, still take an outrageous amount of comedic enjoyment in your less than bemused facial expressions.
You look miserable, Jay, and to the large majority of those people who aren't myself, it's a turn off.
I'm writing all of this because there's a decent chance you're going to get carried off the field Monday night after Jason Babin shoots an imaginary arrow into the sky performs his best Hulk Hogan imitation. Personally, football will be less entertaining for me without you shaking your head, looking disgusted and waving dismissively at referees who just flagged you for intentional grounding for the second time in the last five minutes. But, as a matter of professional advice, if you want someone other than just me rooting for you, you might want to think about smiling a bit more.
That assumes, of course, you still have the ability to move your facial muscles after you—for the 9,999th time this season—pull your helmet out of the turf and stand up to get yourself some more.
Jay Cutler might just be the toughest son of bitch in the NFL today. Would someone please recognize it?