Great news, Eagles fans! You no longer have to worry about Eagles quarterback Mike Vick and his ribs. At least you don't if you put your full trust in the maker of the new super high-tech protective gear he plans on wearing.
"I guarantee he will not get hurt," Rob Vito, CEO of Unequal Technologies, told ESPN.com on Wednesday.
There you have it -- a guarantee.
Not sold just yet? The money quotes keep coming.
"What Michael is wearing was born on the battlefield and forged on the gridiron," Vito said.
I'm not even sure what that means. But it sounds badass!
But seriously, this has to be a good thing, right? At just three ounces, each rib protector is supposedly light enough to allow Vick to remain as quick as possible.
So now that his ribs are guaranteed to be safe for the entire season, we need to find some shoe/leg/arm/hand/finger protector makers to guarantee the rest of his body's safety.
>>Vest CEO vouches for Michael Vick [ESPN]