Mike Vick's alleged former stripper-slash-'secret girlfriend' tells hilarious tales of orgies, affirmed straightness

Mike Vick's alleged former stripper-slash-'secret girlfriend' tells hilarious tales of orgies, affirmed straightness

The thing about the year 2014 is that computers are relatively cheap and anyone can sit down and hunt and peck their way to tell any story they want. Bloggers exist, after all, and you're reading this.

So it's always a bit entertaining when "secret girlfriends" try to write tell-all books. The latest target of such a tale is Eagles quarterback Michael Vick.

Radar Online posted the story last Friday of a woman who called herself Vick's "secret girlfriend" for something like 10 years. They met at a strip club, naturally, which provides us with the first hilarious anecdote:

Vick and the author first met when she was working at a strip club. She recalls, “He said only one word, ‘dance,’ and that’s exactly what I did … Vick appeared to take it all in like a child in a candy store for the very first time.” At the end of the night, Escritor claims, she left the club with him, and they had sex for the first time at his Atlanta home — although he was already in a relationship.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure how that metaphor works.

The next amazing detail is about how the "secret girlfriend" finally realized the rumors about Vick being gay weren't true. It wasn't from having sex with him over and over and over.

The first time she saw the report, she writes, “I started laughing at first, because I knew damn well after being with him sexually for quite some time now that this man seemed far from gay.” She says she got her confirmation when she saw Vick making faces at a local R&B singer’s music video on TV.

“I’m like, ‘What’s wrong? You don’t like him?’” she remembers. “He says, ‘Hell naw.’ He said that the guy was staring at him all weird and sh*t when he did that music video with a local rapper. He went on to say that he, himself, wasn’t gay, and he didn’t like being stared at by that man … So that right there, to me, solved the mystery of ‘Vick Gay?’”

There's plenty more about the sex parties at Vick's Atlanta home, how the couple would crawl on floors to sneak up and watch his friends have sex with strippers, about his herpes and dog fighting scandals. It just keeps going. There's just so much.

I'm not sure I can summarize it any better than Radar Online commenter "Ruprecht" who really captured the story's essence:

A tell all book about being a side piece for a herpes infested dog killing peeping Tom dooche rocket. You stay classy!

>>Sex Parties, Strippers & Flavored Condoms: 'Secret' Girlfriend Tells All About Sex Parties at NFL Star Michael Vick's Mansion [Radar]

Best of NHL: Penguins beat Panthers in Sidney Crosby's debut

Best of NHL: Penguins beat Panthers in Sidney Crosby's debut

PITTSBURGH -- Sidney Crosby scored in his season debut as the Pittsburgh Penguins rallied to beat the Florida Panthers 3-2 on Tuesday night.

Crosby, who scored on a power play, missed the team's first six games with a concussion. Carl Hagelin and Eric Fehr also scored for the Penguins, who extended a seven-game unbeaten streak against the Panthers.

Marc-Andre Fleury, who has started the first seven games of the season for Pittsburgh, stopped 20 shots. Matt Murray, who backstopped the Penguins to a Stanley Cup in June, served as the backup to Fleury after missing the first six games with a broken hand.

Reilly Smith scored a power-play goal and Mark Pysyk also scored for the Panthers, who have lost 11 of 12 against the Penguins in Pittsburgh.

James Reimer made 19 saves in his second start of the season (see full recap).

Kings top Blue Jackets in overtime
LOS ANGELES -- Alec Martinez scored 1:14 into overtime, and the Los Angeles Kings rallied to beat the Columbus Blue Jackets 3-2 Tuesday night for their third straight victory.

Drew Doughty scored the tying goal with 5:57 left in regulation for the Kings, who won their third straight overtime game after an 0-3-0 start to the season. Captain Anze Kopitar also scored, and third-string goalie Peter Budaj stopped 19 shots in his third consecutive win.

Cam Atkinson scored a tiebreaking power-play goal late in the second period, and Sergei Bobrovsky made 27 saves for Columbus. Brandon Saad also scored for the Jackets, who had won two straight after an 0-2-0 start.

Martinez ended it by putting a rebound into an open net for the defenseman's second goal of the season (see full recap).

Lightning strike for seven goals in win
TORONTO -- Steven Stamkos matched a career-high with four points -- two goals and two assists -- and the Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Toronto Maple Leafs 7-3 on Tuesday night.

Frederik Andersen gave up seven goals on only 24 shots, the third time in five starts he has allowed at least five goals and fourth time he's allowed four or more. The 27-year-old has an .851 save percentage so far this season.

Alex Killorn, Victor Hedman, Nikita Kucherov, Vladislav Namestnikov and Jonathan Drouin added goals for Tampa Bay, while Ben Bishop made 40 saves.

William Nylander, James van Riemsdyk and Auston Matthews scored for the Maple Leafs, who outshot the Lightning 43-24 (see full recap).

Report: Eagles make inquiry about Bears WR Alshon Jeffery

Report: Eagles make inquiry about Bears WR Alshon Jeffery

The Eagles could be looking for a bigger name outside.

In need of a deep threat — and reportedly in talks about a trade for 49ers wideout Torrey Smith — the Eagles are interested in Bears wide receiver Alshon Jeffery and attempting to make a move for the 2013 Pro Bowler, according to a report Tuesday night by Benjamin Allbright of Mile High Sports Radio.

We followed up with Allbright, who clarified the Eagles simply made an inquiry.

Jeffery, much more of a do-it-all, dynamic wide receiver than the one-dimensional Smith, is 26 years old and can become a free agent at season's end. He'll warrant good money, but would make the Eagles better in more ways than one compared to Smith.

The 6-foot-3, 218-pounder put up 89 catches for 1,421 yards and seven touchdowns in 2013, followed by 85 catches, 1,133 yards receiving and 10 scores in 2014.

This season, he has 520 yards receiving and has yet to find the end zone playing for the quarterback-challenged Bears, who are 1-6 and more than likely thinking about next season.