Tastykakes, ranked

Tastykakes, ranked

All Tastykakes are delicious. But all Tastykakes are not created equal. Some are just a bit more delicious than others. This is the order of deliciousness:

15. Anything sugar free

Just buy some carrot sticks.

14. Snowballs

Are they really pink? What kind of person buys these?

13. Dreamies

Twinkie's step sister.

12. Chocolate Bells

These things are good but they're just like a weird cupcake flipped over and more challenging to eat.

11. Honeybuns

Too much sugar.

10. Danish

Eh, who really wants to eat a Danish? Your grandmother? We're not in Finland.

9. Cookie Bars (Oatmeal Raisin)

Surprisingly solid and easy to eat when you're in a hurry without the mess. Reliable.

8. Tasty Klair

Listed this one out on it's own because it's technically one of the pies but has that doughnut vibe to it. The liquid goo is what I imagine the mystical foods in Nintendo's Zelda taste like.

7. Kandy Bar Kakes (Peanut Butter w/ actual Reese's jawns)

These are new and what inspired these rankings. Went out last night and got the peanut butter kind and it was damn good. You get that familiar soft kakey inside with a nice chocolate crust but the gooey peanut butter center makes you melt. Very good.

6. Pies (Apple)

5. Chocolate Junior

Both the Chocolate Junior and Koffee Kake Junior are pretty banging but the chocolate clearly has the icing (also icing in the middle! so important) to even out all that kake. Must have a coffee or big glass of milk to get through one of these guys. The proportions of the cupcake are far superior as you'll read below.

4. Rich frosted mini donuts (Chocolate)

Perfectly sized, well proportioned cake to icing, and easy to pop and eat on the go. Be weary of the powdered sugar because then your coworkers may think you have some yayo problem.

3. Krimpet (Butterscotch, obviously)

Sometimes it's nice to feel like you're sitting in third grade again eating your brown bagged lunch.

2. Peanut Butter Kandy Kake

One of Philadelphia's gifts to the world.

1. Cream Filled Cupcake (chocolate cake, vanilla icing and filling)

The perfect mix of cake and icing on top with the super amazing bonus icing in the middle of the cupcake. The only thing wrong with these are the tough decision you are faced with on how to approach the ball of icing amazingness in the center. Do you save it to the end for one euphoric bite of icing ball? Or do you ration out a little piece of said icing surprise with each bite? Sometimes life's decisions are not easy.

*FULL DISCLOSURE*: This post was in no way sponsored by Tastykake but if anyone over there wants to send us cases of Tastykakes for this free advertising we can certainly get you our mailing address and highly encourage you to do so.

Post also inspired by this regional food rankings post over at Deadspin, Hamilton Nolan's ranking of things like animals and fruit, and because my buddy The Evster live tweeted his eating of one of the new Kandy Kake Bars yesterday which inspired me to go out and purchase one of the peanut butter variety last night with a gallon of milk (2%).

Brian Carroll's goal in 92nd minute gives Union draw with Rapids

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Brian Carroll's goal in 92nd minute gives Union draw with Rapids

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- Brian Carroll tied it in 92nd minute and the Union escaped with a 1-1 draw with the Colorado Rapids in a showdown of the Western and Eastern conference leaders.

Carroll ran underneath Fabian Herbers' high-arching header and slotted the finish under goalkeeper Zac MacMath from close range.

The Union (5-3-5) responded only 5 minutes after the Rapids (8-2-4) opened the scoring on Sam Cronin's header in the 87th minute. Cronin made a deep run to connect with Marlon Hairston's cross from the right flank, redirecting it into the far corner of the goal.

Both Dillon Powers and Luis Solignac had shots crash off the crossbar for the Rapids after the 70th minute.

The Union extended their unbeaten streak to seven while the Rapids stayed unbeaten in their nine home games this season.

Chase Utley haunts Mets in Dodgers' rout at Citi Field

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Chase Utley haunts Mets in Dodgers' rout at Citi Field

NEW YORK -- Chase Utley hit a grand slam and a solo homer after Noah Syndergaard threw a 99 mph fastball behind his back, and the Los Angeles Dodgers went deep a season-high five times in routing the New York Mets 9-1 on Saturday night.

In a scene that seemed inevitable since October, Syndergaard was immediately ejected following the third-inning pitch -- almost certainly his shot at retaliation against Utley for the late takeout slide that broke the right leg of then-Mets shortstop Ruben Tejada in last year's playoffs.

Plate umpire Adam Hamari tossed Syndergaard, sending Mets manager Terry Collins into a rage, but no trouble ensued between the teams. A longtime New York nemesis, Utley raised one hand slightly in the direction of the Dodgers' bench to keep teammates calm -- and later answered by doing all sorts of damage with his bat.

Kenta Maeda (4-3) shook off an early line drive that appeared to hit him in the pitching hand and threw five shutout innings for the win. The right-hander yielded two hits, both in the first, and snapped his three-game losing streak.

Adrian Gonzalez homered and had four hits for the Dodgers, who spoiled the Mets' 30th anniversary celebration of their 1986 World Series championship. Corey Seager and Howie Kendrick also connected, all after Syndergaard was gone.

Pinch-hitter Juan Lagares homered in the eighth for New York, long after the outcome was decided.

The stoic Utley is playing at Citi Field this weekend for the first time since Tejada was injured. The Mets -- and their fans -- were incensed by the aggressive slide, which led to a change in baseball rules this season designed to protect infielders in what some call the Utley Rule.

But the Mets had not tried to retaliate until Saturday night.

With one out and nobody on in the third inning of a scoreless game, Syndergaard's first pitch to Utley sailed behind the second baseman's back by a considerable margin.

Hamari immediately ejected Syndergaard, prompting Collins to come storming out of the dugout. Collins also was ejected after screaming at Hamari and pointing in his face during an animated argument. The manager was finally escorted back toward the New York dugout by another umpire.

After waiting near the mound with teammates for some time, Syndergaard walked calmly to the Mets' dugout without showing any emotion as the crowd cheered him.

Logan Verrett (3-2) entered for the Mets and, with a vocal contingent in the sellout crowd of 42,227 urging him to hit Utley with a pitch, eventually threw a called third strike past him. But then Utley homered on Verrett's first pitch of the sixth to give the Dodgers a 1-0 lead.

Booed all night, Utley added his sixth career slam off Hansel Robles in the seventh, giving Los Angeles a 6-0 cushion with his 38th career homer against the Mets.

In the series opener Friday night, Utley was greeted with loud jeers and derisive chants. He had four RBIs in a 6-5 loss, including a three-run double that tied the score with two outs in the ninth.

Where are you now?
Tejada was released by the Mets during spring training and signed by the St. Louis Cardinals, who designated him for assignment Saturday.

Trainer's room
Dodgers: RF Trayce Thompson exited in the fifth with lower back soreness. He was replaced by Yasiel Puig, who hit an RBI single off Verrett in the sixth.

Mets: INF Wilmer Flores (hamstring) went 1 for 2 with a sacrifice fly in his fifth rehab game for Double-A Binghamton. Before the game, Collins said it was reasonable to think Flores could come off the disabled list Sunday.

Up next
Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw (7-1, 1.48 ERA) starts the series finale Sunday night against 43-year-old Bartolo Colon (4-3, 3.44). Kershaw, coming off a two-hit shutout against Cincinnati, is 7-0 with a 1.17 ERA in 10 starts against the Mets. He is 5-0 with a 0.64 ERA in May -- including a three-hit shutout of New York on May 12 at Dodger Stadium. The three-time Cy Young Award winner has struck out 55 and walked two this month.

Soul drop 1st road game of season to Gladiators

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USA Today Images

Soul drop 1st road game of season to Gladiators

The Soul fell on the road to the Cleveland Gladiators, 63-49, at Quicken Loans Arena on Saturday night.

The loss was just the second of the season and the first away from the Wells Fargo Center for the Soul. Quarterback Dan Raudabaugh completed 25 of 44 passes for 342 yards and seven touchdownsi in a losing effort.

The Gladiators were led by receiver Quentin Sims, who finished with 10 receptions for 114 yards and three touchdowns, and signal caller Arvell Nelson who completed 22 of 36 passes for 307 yards and seven touchdowns.

Next week, the Soul travel to Jacksonville to take on the Sharks on Saturday, June 4. The game will be broadcast on CBS Sports and 97.5 The Fanatic.  Kick-off is set for 7 p.m.