The 2013 Super Bowl Commercials: These Weren't Cheap

The 2013 Super Bowl Commercials: These Weren't Cheap

Some of them you liked. Some of them you disliked. Some of them you "got." Some of them you didn't "get."

But all of them cost $4 million per 30 seconds of air time ... plus their respective budgets.

Selected ads below.


Leon Sandcastle Is the New Jesus Shuttlesworth

Malik Rose loved it, but couldn't say the same for that God/Ram/Farmers ad.


Red M&M Finally Explains What Meatloaf Never Would

Meatloaf claims the lyrics are unambiguous, but that he knew they would cause an issue. I'm not getting into it, just give me the red M&M crying and hugging something. I'm easy that way.


Oreos, and Is That the Library from the Breakfast Club?

It has to be right? Look at it. As stuff got more and more out of hand I thought for sure Paul Gleason was coming in at the end. Where were I miss you, Paul Gleason.


When Not-Sex Doesn't Appeal: Congratulations GoDaddy

These two didn't include the tease of nudity, and they're the best two commercials GoDaddy has ever done. Give me something else -- like Bar Raefeli and this guy. Guy killed it. Way to go, guy.

See also:


Hey Amy Poehler Being All Amy Poehler

I remain unconvinced the Cloud isn't the fore-bearer to the Matrix. You think that's air you're breathing?


Who Authorized the Budget for This?

And this. And to a lesser degree this.


Budweiser Is Trying, But Will You Do the Same?

Golden Wheat, Lime, Platinum and now Black Crown. The price point remains key. At some point, you're either buying cheap beer or your spending a little more for something better. And if you're spending a little more for something better -- unless Bud has come up with a game-changer -- you're not buying their product. That said, I'm a beer snob.


Stevie Wonder Gets His Revenge for Your Jokes about His House

You could say their love of football blinded them. "That''ll do." "Right."


Two Things I'll Never Get Tired Of

A Clydesdale on Super Bowl Sunday ... and "Landslide."


There Are Always Animals

And this year featured two separate ads with wolves: Old Spice wolves | wolves.

The Doritos goat wasn't bad either, but it underwhelmed compared to their past efforts.


Eat Great Even Late ... in Life

There was a brief period of my life (Oct. 2011) where I only stopped playing Batman: Arkham City long enough to make it Taco Bell by 11:59 p.m. Two beef baja chalupas, a hardshell taco and an order of nachos and cheese. Consequently, I will never reach the age of those depicted in the ad above.


Samsung, as the expensive, postmodern alternative to Apple

Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and LeBron James are all aware that they're in a Super Bowl ad as they're brainstorming ideas for a Super Bowl ad that they're aware they're in as they're in it.

At two two minutes,  this one -- assuming the link at the top was correct, and not counting the cash to Rudd, Rogen and Bron -- set Samsung back $16 million.


And I think that's the best place to leave it, because other than introducing a new product -- a la Budweiser -- that's a lot of money for what seems an unclear benefit.

Admittedly, I have no background whatsoever in advertising. I just know that a nacho-cheese-chip producer is out $8 million, and it had no impact on how much I do or do not want a Dorito.

Your bests and worsts?

Eagles-Vikings predictions by our (cough) experts

Eagles-Vikings predictions by our (cough) experts

The Eagles are coming off two straight losses and the slate doesn't get any easier with the 5-0 Vikings coming to town.

It also marks the return of Sam Bradford, who was traded just before Week 1, paving the way for rookie Carson Wentz to start.

The Eagles kick off against Minnesota at the Linc on Sunday at 1 p.m., so it's time for our (cough) experts' predictions for the Week 7 matchup.

Dave Zangaro (2-3)
I'll admit, this game just has a weird feel. It has the feeling like the Eagles might be able to catch the Vikings sleeping after their bye week and hand them their first loss of the season.

I was almost tempted to pick the Birds in this one.

But I'm not.

Ultimately, the Vikings are just the better team. I'm not sure how the Eagles are going to put up points against them. And I'm not convinced the Eagles' defense will be able to stop anyone after what we saw last weekend.

They keep it close, but the Birds fall to 3-3.

Vikings 20, Eagles 17

Derrick Gunn (2-3)
The good news is Minnesota's offense is ranked 30th in the league and the Vikings' run game is dead last averaging 70.6 yards per game. 

The bad news is the Vikings' defense is a monster, ranked 2nd overall and first in points allowed at 12.6.

There is not a weak link in the Vikings' D and they are fundamentally sound across the board. The Eagles' defense vows that what happened to them at Washington — allowing 230 rushing yards — won't happen again. 

Carson Wentz got roughed up by the Redskins' pass rush, and unless the Eagles' offensive line plugs the leaks, more of the same could happen this Sunday. The Birds have every reason to rebound at home, but I just don't like the overall matchup. 

Vikings 20, Eagles 13

Ray Didinger (2-3)
The Vikings aren't going undefeated. You don't go 16-0 in the NFL with a 30th ranked offense which is what the Vikings have. Yes, their defense is very good. Going back to last season they have held each of their last nine opponents to 17 points or less. They are deep, fast and well-coached by Mike Zimmer. But the offense led by Sam Bradford coughs and sputters a lot.
As a result, the Vikings will play a lot of close, low-scoring games and somewhere along the line they are going to lose. It could even happen this week when they play the Eagles. Special teams could be huge. The Eagles have a big edge with kicker Caleb Sturgis. Vikings kicker Blair Walsh has already missed three field goals and two PATs. However, the Vikings return men -- Marcus Sherels on punts, Cordarrelle Patterson on kickoffs -- are very dangerous. I expect the Eagles to keep it close but in the end I have to go with the superior defense.
Vikings 21, Eagles 16

Andrew Kulp (2-3)
Which Eagles defense shows up on Sunday? If they can limit Minnesota's anemic ground attack, which ranks dead last in the NFL, this should be a close game. Sam Bradford is playing really well, but it's not like he's airing it out all over the place.

Then it becomes a question of how Halapoulivaati Vaitai responds to a rough debut. The Vikings pass-rush is fierce, so it doesn't get any easier this week. As long as the protection gives Carson Wentz a chance, that will at least give the rookie signal-caller a shot at making a few big plays.

For some reason, I like their chances at both. It's going to be another ugly one, but the Eagles do just enough to squeak by.

Eagles 20, Vikings 19

Corey Seidman (2-3)
I foresee a low-scoring game in which the Eagles are more competitive than some might think.

But in the end, the Vikings have the personnel and the defensive-minded head coach (Mike Zimmer) to get key stops down the stretch.

Vikings 20, Eagles 16

Andy Schwartz (1-4)
You’re still reading? 

Well good for you. Much appreciated. 

Because clearly I certainly don’t know what to expect from this team. 

But let’s forget all that for the moment and look at the Bradford Bowl. 

The Vikings’ offense is hardly scary (30th in the league in yards per game behind the Rams and Niners), but their defense is (second in yards per game behind Seattle).

The Eagles’ offense is hardly scary (22nd in yards per game), and their defense (sixth in yards per game) was pretty scary a few weeks ago.

So let’s look at the intangibles. Which team needs this game more? The Eagles. And they’re at home. 

But given the outcomes the last two weeks and that Minnesota is unbeaten and coming off a bye, it certainly makes sense to pick the Vikes, who are favored by 2.5.

Then again, the Eagles not too long ago were unbeaten and coming off a bye … and we all know what happened.

So I’ll say the Birds pull off another upset and remain unbeaten at the Linc. 

Just don’t bet on it.

Eagles 6, Vikings 5

Report: Nerlens Noel expected out 3-5 weeks after left knee surgery

Report: Nerlens Noel expected out 3-5 weeks after left knee surgery

It appears the Sixers' frontcourt logjam may not be an issue early on.

Nerlens Noel, who is having surgery Monday for an inflamed plica in his left knee, will miss the first three to five weeks of the season, according to Keith Pompey of the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Noel suffered a left groin injury in the first preseason game against the Celtics and missed the rest of the preseason. While undergoing treatment, Noel reported left knee soreness, which led to the discovery of the inflamed plica.

It's been an odd start to the season for Noel. The big man was outspoken about his displeasure with the Sixers' frontcourt situation early in camp. With the deadline for Noel's rookie contract extension approaching on Oct. 31, the team has not had conversations about it, according to a report.

The Sixers are already without No. 1 overall pick Ben Simmons as he recovers from surgery to repair a Jones fracture in his right foot. The team will also be without their starting point guard Jerryd Bayless who is dealing with a ligament issue in his left wrist. Bayless won't require surgery and will be reevaluated in two weeks.