The Evster: What kinda name is Drew Brees anyway?

The Evster: What kinda name is Drew Brees anyway?

Ready for some quick, mind-blowing, knock-your-balls-off Evster research?

The name Drew is of Welsh origin meaning "wise" (seriously, I looked it up), so it's only fitting that Drew Brees would grow up to be one of football's all-time smartest quarterbacks.

Strong arm? Sure. Accurate? Absolutely. Lame haircut? You know it. But what sets Drew apart from the rest of his peers is his ability to break down defenses with his quick trigger decision-making. The former Academic All-American is an absolute savant between the hashmarks, BUT HE IS ALSO A TOTAL DORK.

In case you don't remember from every 80's sports movie you ever saw, smart people are nerds, and nerds get beat up when they try to play football. Drew Brees is no different -- a scrawny, wispy-haired, delicate little man -- and he is going to get annihilated at the Linc this Saturday night. Remember, this is a game made for meatheads, founded by greats like Mean Joe, Concrete Charlie and Ogre, so I fully expect DeMeco and company to get revenge on this nerd on Saturday night.

Unsurprisingly, the Brees Family dorkdom doesn't start or stop with Drew. Brees's father was named EUGENE and his uncle's name was MARTY. (Granted, both of them were incredible athletes, but whatever. Also, for the record, the name Nick means "victory" while Foles loosely translates to "HORSED!CK".) Even Drew Brees's sons have stupid names: Baylen, Bowen and Callen.

Yep.

BAYLEN, BOWEN and CALLEN.

Those are their actual names. Like, on their birth certificates and everything. Legitimate, human names. I'm not even joking.

Honestly, how can you be scared of a guy who gave his sons such ridiculous names? Baylen, Bowen and CALLEN? How do you even pronounce that? Is it Call-in? Like, "I'm callin' into a call-in show"? Or is it Cal-lin, like Cal Ripken Junion? Or is is Kale-en, like that dude from The Bachelorette who arrived on a helicopter? Either way, none of those names even comes close to making sense. I guess, maybe Bowen does, mayyybeeeeee Bowen does, but still, stupid, stupid name. And we didn't even talk about Baylen!

Everyone in this world is always complaining about global warming and Miley Cyrus and how difficult it is to find good potato salad, but what is wrong with this current generation of parents? What are they trying to prove? Whatever happened to the good ole days when parents gave their sons normal, masculine names like LeSean, Rocky or Chip?

I was at the playground with my little nephew the other day when I overheard some dad call out to his kid, "Amadeus! Amadeus! It's time to go home!" and I was like, "What the WHAT?" and then his mother, who just so happened to be standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME, said (in the saddest and sorriest voice), "It's Amadeus. My son's name is Amadeus."

It was so sad, because you could tell she was absolutely mortified. This poor, poor woman, who had bags under her eyes and a husband who wore pleated pants, somehow thought that it'd be a good idea to name her son Amadeus. Ugh. It had to be the father's idea. His pants were so pleated. And his kid couldn't play tetherball for shit.

Obviously Drew Brees's'ss's's's kids are going to be dope at tetherball. They're destined to become wonderful athletes -- and will probably date super hot chicks (or dudes) because of it -- but they still won't be able to find personalized license plates when they stop at gift shops on the New Jersey Turnpike.

And that's just sad.

You know for as smart as a guy as Drew Brees pretends to be, maybe he should've used a little common sense when naming his kids. Also, his last name is totally spelled wrong.

I have no idea what the point of this article is.

Prediction: Eagles 74, Saints 5

Follow The Evster @TVMWW

Gary Bettman talks NHL expansion, missing Ed Snider's presence, 2018 Winter Olympics

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Gary Bettman talks NHL expansion, missing Ed Snider's presence, 2018 Winter Olympics

PITTSBURGH -- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman offered no clues on Monday during his annual Stanley Cup Final address as to the state of NHL expansion or the current odds that Las Vegas gets a franchise.
 
The league’s Board of Governors will meet on June 22 to make a decision on expansion. The earliest a team(s) could play would be 2017-18.
 
Quebec City is also in the running, but the value of the Canadian dollars weighs heavily against another team being added north of the border at the moment.
 
If a Vegas franchise is added, it would have a direct impact on Pacific Division clubs such as the Sharks, who take on the Penguins in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final Monday night at CONSOL Energy Center.
 
Bettman refused to “handicap” the situation but said he expected to know at least a week in advance as to what the committee’s recommendation will be.
 
Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly said there are “a lot of on-going” issues related to expansion and some involve input from third parties.
 
“We’ve made good progress ... it hasn’t been quick progress,” Daly said.
 
Asked about rumors of the NFL, specifically the Oakland Raiders, going to Vegas and what that impact would mean to hockey, Bettman said he hasn’t even broached the topic of having two pro sports there with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell or even considered such.
 
“If the NFL comes to Vegas at some point, so be it,” Bettman said. “We’re judging the application we have before us on the merits of that application.”
 
Bettman said the thought the NFL moving to Vegas, in his opinion, wasn’t “anywhere close to a done deal.”
 
Daly added that even if there is movement by the NFL toward Vegas, it would not be seen as a “deterrent” to the NHL expanding there.
 
Snider not replaced
Bettman said that former Flyers chairman Ed Snider’s spot on the 10-person executive and competition committees has not been filled since Snider's death in April.
 
Snider was an original member of the league’s competition committee and the only owner on it.
 
“He was a great owner and is terribly missed,” Bettman said.

More Olympic issues  
IOC President Thomas Bach and IIHF President Rene Fasel have gone on record they want to end paying the out-of-pocket expenses for NHL players to attend the Olympics.
 
That’s a non-starter for the NHL if both organizations want participation of the NHL's players at the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. The practice of subsidy has been in effect for the past five Winter Olympics.
 
“If they are unable to resolve the issue, I have no doubt it will have an impact on our decision,” Bettman said, adding the NHL would have to take a hard look at continued Olympic participation since its member clubs aren’t interested in putting up the “many, many millions” it would take to make up the financial gap.
 
Whenever there is change in the IOC leadership, Bettman said, there are always discussions of whether some sports, such as hockey, should receive subsidies.

P.J. Carlesimo turns down Sixers' associate head coach job for 'family reasons'

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P.J. Carlesimo turns down Sixers' associate head coach job for 'family reasons'

Thirty-five years is more than enough time to get a sense of who a person is and how they do their job. That is how long Brett Brown has known P.J. Carlesimo, which made it easy for the Sixers' head coach to have interest in adding him to the staff. 

With Mike D’Antoni leaving to coach the Rockets, the Sixers had a vacancy at the associate head coach position. On Sunday, though, Carlesimo decided not to join the Sixers’ staff and remain a television analyst.

“He was a natural fit for me,” Brown said Monday following a pre-draft workout. “For family reasons, he just couldn’t do it. We talked a lot and it was an emotional thing from P.J.’s perspective. 

“P.J. is a very close friend of mine and he made that decision for family reasons and I understand it. The phone call really didn’t surprise me knowing what I know of him and how he views his family, having to travel across the country the whole time.”

Like D’Antoni, Carlesimo has a lengthy résumé on the NBA sidelines. He was a head coach for parts of nine seasons and worked five as an assistant coach. Brown called working with D’Antoni “a real learning experience,” and an ideal candidate would have similar experience to help both the staff and the young roster.

“That role will be filled with maybe that type of flavor,” Brown said. “I know this, we are still in a complete development mode. We still have a bunch of 20 year olds, guys that could be with us for a long time, but they’re not old, that we have to make sure that the city and me, we remember that. We still need people and teachers that can teach and coach and establish relationships. 

“So you tick boxes on relationships, teaching, development, those still rule the day. If you can do that with some veteran wisdom and some type of experiences like Mike’s, say, or P.J. had, well then you’re really knocking it out of the park.”

Coaching vacancies are coveted at this level. With the No. 1 pick in the draft, a revamped front office, and a 125,000-square foot training facility under construction, the Sixers have enhanced the appeal of the role. 

"My phone is very active, as you can imagine," Brown said. "I think it’s a highly attractive position. … Like our draft picks, I too spend a lot of time studying who will be the best fit for me and our program."

Tonight's Lineup: Ryan Howard (surprisingly) starts at 1B

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Tonight's Lineup: Ryan Howard (surprisingly) starts at 1B

So much for trimming Ryan Howard's playing time.

One day after Phillies manager Pete Mackanin said he plans on giving 24-year-old Tommy Joseph more starts against right-handed pitchers, Mackanin flipped the switch Monday.

Howard is penciled in as the starting first baseman for the Phils' series-opener against the Nationals on Monday night at Citizens Bank Park against Tanner Roark (3-4, 2.71).

After the Phillies were clobbered by the MLB-best Chicago Cubs on Sunday — and the weekend, really — Mackanin said the Phils have to get a longer look at Joseph.

"We brought up Joseph up here for a reason, to get a look at him," the manager said after the Phillies' 7-2 on Sunday afternoon (see story). "I can't let him stagnate on the bench like (Darin) Ruf ended up doing, so he's going to face some right-handed pitchers to keep his timing."

Joseph will have to wait another day to get in the lineup. To be fair, Joseph did face five righties last week, but three of those came with the designated hitter in play.

For Howard, however, the club icon is in a major rut that has had many outsiders calling for him to retire or for the team to release him. He's hitting .154 with eight home runs and 18 RBIs in 136 at-bats and is 6 for 62 (.097) with 25 strikeouts in May.

Here's the silver lining, however. Howard is a career .333 hitter in 12 at-bats against Roark, who he's taken deep once and has six RBIs against.

The Phillies turn to Jeremy Hellickson (4-3, 3.97) to snap their three-game skid. He's faced the Nationals twice this season, allowing six — five earned — runs over 10⅓ innings.

Here is the Phillies' full lineup:

Phillies
1. Odubel Herrera, CF
2. Freddy Galvis, SS
3. Maikel Franco, 3B
4. Ryan Howard, 1B
5. Carlos Ruiz, C
6. Cesar Hernandez, 2B
7. Tyler Goeddel, LF
8. Jeremy Hellickson, P
9. Peter Bourjos, RF

For more on tonight's game, check out Steven Tyding's game notes.