Web Store Uses Philly Sports Fans Surly Reputation in Attempt to Sell Batteries

Web Store Uses Philly Sports Fans Surly Reputation in Attempt to Sell Batteries
August 10, 2012, 8:56 am
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I think a marketing ploy must be pretty effective when you don't know if it's ingenious or offensive. So when I saw that bargain website Woot.com employed the tactic of using Philadelphia sports fans less-than-stellar reputation in an attempt to sell AAA Duracell batteries I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! You !@#$&%."

I could have used something to throw at my laptop...

Here's the copy on the description from the 12ct Duracell AAA Rechargeable Batteries listing (only $14.99!):

Gotta love Philly fans!

Great to power your devices, or power your passion for athletics!

For most of us, this is simply a great opportunity to stock up on some rechargeable batteries to power our electronics and other stuff. But for our users in Philadelphia, it's something so much more.

See, Phillies season is in full swing, and the Eagles will be taking the field soon enough. You know what that means? There are a lot of opposing teams coming through town, so it's time to stock up on some stuff to heave at them!

Now, you might be thinking, why rechargeable batteries? Why not the cheapest, crappiest batteries you can find? As long as they're hard and hurt when they make contact, right?

Well, that's where you're wrong! Throwing any lame batteries shows them that you're angry. Throwing rechargeable batteries shows that you've taken your rage to a whole new level! You're sending a message to that opposing players; you're saying, "I could've recharged these things 100s of times and kept using them over and over, but instead, I chose to forgo practicality and employ them only once, for the purpose of pelting you. Such is my hatred for your team!"

Honestly, it's what they deserve. Seriously! How dare THEY come to YOUR stadium for a SCHEDULED game! THE NERVE!

At least they recognize Philly fans do try and go the extra mile to be assholes.

[h/t Boonie] [Update: also via Philly.com]

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