Pick 'em: Inside Gonzo's 2015 NCAA Tournament bracket

Share

This needs to be repeated annually because it is important. There are two types of people when it comes to NCAA Tournament pools: those who come up with one permutation and stick to it, and those who fill out multiple brackets.

The single-sheet people probably drink warm milk and eat instant regular oatmeal and drive the speed limit. They wear tube socks and go to bed early. They watch all the CSIs. The multi-sheet people like a good time. They enjoy the action. The more brackets, the more chances, and heyofcourseyeslet’sdrinkmaddogfromashoetonightandrideoneofthedogsaroundthelivingroomlikeahorse. This is not a hard choice.

While I’ve filled out one bracket here, for your consumption, know that I have already completed many other variations. Lots and lots of picks will be wrong, but maybe some will be right. (You can view my entire bracket right here on this page.) Now where’s the dog saddle?

Midwest
This can’t be a coronation. It can’t. If Kentucky stays undefeated and wins out, the rest of the basketball-loving public is doomed. The gloating would suffocate us.

But this is the problem: the Wildcats are so good. (Analysis.) The starting lineup has two guys who are 6-6, one who’s 6-10, one who’s 6-11, and a seven-footer. They are tall. (More analysis.) But don’t forget: Kentucky trailed Buffalo at halftime this season. They fell behind against Georgia. Ole Miss took them to overtime. Texas A&M took them to double OT. There is hope. And oh, hey, who’s that 12-seed in their region? Is that Buffalo? Yes. And could the Buffalos (without looking it up, they have to be the Buffalo Buffalos, right?) beat the Wildcats? No. Of course not. The first game was a fluke. Don’t be stupid. And, yes, I know it’s the Buffalo Bulls. Also stupid. Why aren’t they the Buffalo Buffalos? Congress needs to intervene.

Teams that could maybe-kinda-if-they’re-lucky give the Wildcats trouble in the Midwest: Kansas (the Cliff Alexander situation hurts them), Maryland (Melo Trimble can flat score), perhaps Notre Dame (insane shooters), Wichita State (well-rounded). But, nah. The Wildcats are walking to the Final Four. At which point we hope they trip over something — like an NCAA violation.

West
Oh man. The West is pretty packed. Baylor had a good run in the Big 12 and got a 3-seed. VCU won the Atlantic 10 and got the 7-seed. The Ohio State Buckeyes and DeAngelo Russell, everyone’s soon-to-be-favorite player for the Sixers to land in the draft, are the 10-seed. There’s also North Carolina (No. 4), Oregon (No. 8) and Oklahoma St. (No. 9). And a fun 5-12 matchup in Arkansas against Wofford.

And Wisconsin. Can’t forget about the top seed. The Badgers have lost only three games all year. They have Frank Kaminsky, who has a great shot to win the Wooden Award. He’s stands 7-feet and he fires up three-balls and makes 39 percent. He’s a lot of fun to watch. Tall dudes who shoot from distance appeal to my inner hoops nerd.

If you like guards, who also appeal to my inner hoops nerd — my inner hoops nerd is easily lobbied — Joseph Young is your man. He almost never comes off the floor for Oregon, scores 20 points per game, and makes 92 percent of his free throws. Without Young, the Ducks would be playing in the NIT instead of the NCAA.

The pick here is Arizona. The Wildcats have Stanley Johnson, a super talented 6-7 freshman who is bound for the lottery. He shoots 37 percent from distance, scores, rebounds, plays the passing lanes well on defense. I like him. He’s likable. Also: The Wildcats are among the best in the country in offensive and defensive efficiency. That matters.

East
All Wildcats everything. Kentucky in the Midwest. Arizona in the West. And in the East? Poor Villanova. Tougher region than some might realize.

Virginia ended up as the No. 2 after looking like a lock to land a 1-seed for much of the year. Oklahoma (No. 3), Louisville (No. 4) and Providence (No. 6) are all quality squads. Michigan State (No. 7) — despite being a constant bore — is a constant pain in the backside in March. You’ll never be able to predict what No. 8 NC State will do. Don’t even try. The Wolfpack won 20 games this year, but they also lost to Wofford, Boston College and Wake Forest. If you pick NC State to win even a single game, it will lose by infinity. If you pick it to lose the opening matchup, the Wolfpack will break your bracket. It’s unavoidable.

But you only care about Villanova because we’re all parochial rubes around here. Fine. Villanova has a fantastic team, a team that could win the whole tournament. Really. They’re as good as anyone when they’re on. They have four guards who play a ton of minutes and they all shoot over 37 percent from distance. The trouble for Villanova is the draw and the looming Sweet 16 matchup with either No. 4 Louisville or No. 5 Northern Iowa. (That’s a real school. It has a good basketball team and everything.)

Northern Iowa has a kid named Seth Tuttle. He’s 6-8, 240 pounds. Think thicker version of Kaminsky. Tuttle is a scoring and rebounding machine, and he hits 43 percent from three. Villanova will have a hard time guarding him if the schools play. Everyone has a hard time guarding him.

The problem with dropping Villanova from the region so quickly is that I’m left to pick a different team to come out of the East. Louisville is always good for a run around this time of year, and I like the Sooners quite a bit. But I’ll take Virginia by default. Ugh. How did this happen? The Cavaliers are the college hoops equivalent of a PBS special on postage stamps. If you have trouble sleeping at night, watch them. The single-sheet people probably love Virginia. I hate this pick already.

South
Points, points, points and more points. Lots of teams that score a ton in this region. Let’s do this by (scientific) process of elimination.

No. 1 Duke is the team of stock market brokers and trust fund babies and people who go to their country club when they want a chicken salad sandwich (no crust). It’s supported by guys and girls named Cameron. I had an old boss who went to Duke. I can’t be sure, but he probably owned a boat. A nice one. Sometimes I think about a rogue wave out of The Perfect Storm swallowing that boat whole. No Duke. Down with Duke.

Gonzaga (No. 2) always disappoints. Georgetown (No. 4) is seeded higher than it should be. And I don’t believe in SMU (No. 6), Iowa (No. 7) or San Diego State (No. 8).

Quick aside: The 5-12 game between Utah and Stephen F. Austin is must-watch. Flip a coin for your winner. Then flip it again. Keep flipping depending on how many brackets you filled out. (The one-bracket people can just listen to Barry Manilow instead of flipping and then take a nap.) Whichever school wins that game has a shot to do some damage.

No. 3 Iowa State is the pick. The Cyclones are the anti-Virginia. They run my kind of system. They put up more than 78 points per game. They have five players who score in double figures. They space the floor, move the ball and shoot a ton of threes. And they have a point guard named Monte Morris who led the country in assist-to-turnover ratio.

Final Four
Kentucky-Arizona: Wildcats versus Wildcats. Two Wildcats enter, one Wildcats leave. Wildcats on Wildcats crime. It’s a Wildcats leaves town match. The Wildcats will beat the Wildcats, and then the Wildcats will celebrate while the Wildcats pick up their shattered dreams and slink off into the night. Fine. I’m done now. Kentucky. The Wildcats run ends. The Wildcats march on. (I lied. I wasn’t done.)

Virginia-Iowa State: The Cavaliers pick makes my soul hurt. Only the Cyclones can save me from myself.

Finals
I can’t do it. I can’t pick Kentucky. But I can’t have Iowa State winning it all. Even though I love the way the Cyclones play, that’s madness. I wish I could pick a tie. That should be an option. But since it isn’t ... argh, Kentucky. I’m going to smash my laptop now. It’s fine. It’s company issued.

Contact Us