Talked to Katy Perry Lately? Dutch Gaitley Has

Talked to Katy Perry Lately? Dutch Gaitley Has

Is Katy Perry way out of your league? Join the club. Because, you know what? It's not a bad club. We're a sizable bunch and we accept our place, even though we're all pretty sure that if she just got a chance to know "the real us"…okay, nevermind. Look, some of us just weren't born to charm pop stars.

Dutch Gaitley, on the other hand, well that guy seems to have it down pat.

For those of you unfamiliar his work, Gaitley is a 6-9, 240-pound basketball playing forward who recently completed his final year of collegiate eligibility with coach Fran Dunphy's Temple Owls after a transfer from Monmouth. In his brief time on campus, Gaitley achieved a sort of minor celebrity as part of a group of frequently standing, towel waving, exuberantly clapping substitutes toward the end of the Temple bench.

Nicknamed "The Parliament," an allusion to "a group of Owls," Gaitley, the red-shirted Jimmy McDonnell and the walk-on Jake Godino maximized their visibility via a mastery of "new media." From their Facebook page, to their individual Twitter feeds, to their collective blog, to their (available for online purchase) t-shirts, there's been no shortage of Parliament advertising on or around North Broad.

But last weekend, thanks once more to the joys of social networking, something special happened, something that would spread Dutch's online celebrity to the tops of the highest Twitter mountains. Enter that chick who may or may not have "kissed a girl and liked it," Katy Perry.

Allow us a moment to set the scene. On July 15th, Gaitley was in the process of mentally preparing himself to watch the final installment of the Harry Potter saga. Sensing that the event would require so much of his focus that he felt the inescapable need to make it clear to his online following that he was not to be disturbed, Dutch tweeted:

I don't care if @katyperry herself tweets at me during this movie, there is zero chance of me answering #HarryPotter

Well, as you may have guessed, and as we learned from the Inquirer this morning, Ms. Perry took it upon herself to test Dutch's resolve, tweeting back:

@DGaitley_45Owl: So this is a bad time?

Following the film's completion, with his attention now diverted from muggles or whatever, Gaitley was able to make some virtual time for the Grammy-nominated sensation:

@katyperry movies over now, we can talk

Sadly, to our knowledge, Dutch has yet to receive a response from Perry. Did he totally blow it? We'll never know. Still, his handling of the situation reminds of us a certain song from late 2008. For Dutch Gaitley, karaoke nights might never be the same again.

The Eagles need a big-time wide receiver


The Eagles need a big-time wide receiver

I’ve been saying it since early 2000s: The Eagles will never, ever win a Super Bowl again until they go out and get a big-time wide receiver. 

The one year they had one -- 2004, with Terrell Owens -- they got to the Super Bowl. But they never got there earlier, with the likes of Na Brown, Todd Pinkston and James Thrash; nor later, when they blew it with T.O. and failed to land Big-Time Receivers like Roy Williams, Erik Moulds, Javon Walker, or Peerless Price. 

We face a similar situation today.  The Eagles are 4-2 and just beat the Vikings, the league’s last undefeated team. But the team’s lackluster receiving corps threatens to derail the season, and with it the crucial first year of Carson Wentz’s career. Missing out on the playoffs in their rookie year because of receivers who can’t catch the ball is the sort of thing that ruins young quarterbacks for life. 

Don’t make the same mistake again, Howie Roseman. Go out and get Alshon Jeffrey. Or Torrey Smith. Or better yet, Alshon Jeffrey AND Torrey Smith. I don’t care what it takes- and it’s not like the Eagles are ever having draft picks again anyway. 

Of course, none of this would be a problem if we’d traded for Anquan Boldin. I’ve wanted the Eagles to get Anquan Boldin for 10 years, and they never have- not even this year, when he was a free agent, and he went and signed with the Lions and helped beat us two weeks ago.  

So in conclusion: Do whatever it takes, Howie. Start a bidding war. Just keep offering #1 picks until the Bears or Niners say yes. 


In an event I’d have considered considerably less likely than either the prospect of a Cubs world championship or the election of a woman as president of the United States, Joel Embiid on Wednesday night played in a regular season game for the Philadelphia 76ers. It took almost three years, but Embiid finally passed Andrew Bynum on the Sixers’ All-Time Games Played List. 

But Embiid was not the MVP for the Sixers’ opener. That title goes to the older gentleman who charged at Oklahoma City’s Russell Westbrook with two raised middle fingers, as he screamed an f-bomb at him. 

Yes, he was thrown out of the arena, though had it been up to me I’d have given the guy a ticket upgrade, and possibly a job with the team. The greater point is, how many times did you see fans in courtside seats flipping the bird at opposing superstars, in the three years Sam Hinkie was in charge? Exactly. The passion for the Sixers is back. 

My ideal scenario: The Sixers trade for Russell Westbrook, and the cover of next year’s team yearbook is Westbrook and that fan, side by side, flipping the bird together. 


Other Philly sports takes: 

- It’s so, so pathetic that Pittsburgh keeps changing the name of its hockey arena. 

- I heard they were doing E-A-G-L-E-S chants at the Sixers home opener. Awful- they should keep that stuff where it belongs, at Phillies games. 

- I can't figure out how to pronounce Big V's full name so for now I'll just call him "Winston Justice.”

- My thoughts on the WIP lineup changes? It’s about to time they gave a shot to an ex-Eagle in the mid-day, and an overweight out-of-towner in the afternoon. 

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter. 

Mike McQueary's defamation suit against Penn State headed to jury

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Mike McQueary's defamation suit against Penn State headed to jury

BELLEFONTE, Pa. -- Lawyers for a former Penn State assistant football coach are urging jurors to find the university liable for how it treated him after it became public that his testimony helped prosecutors charge Jerry Sandusky with child molestation.

Both sides in the defamation and whistleblower lawsuit filed by Mike McQueary made closing arguments Thursday.

McQueary claims he was defamed by a statement the school president released the day Sandusky was charged, retaliated against for helping with the Sandusky investigation and misled by school administrators.

Penn State argues McQueary's reputation was harmed by public opinion about his decision not to go to police or child-welfare authorities when he saw Sandusky sexually abusing a boy in a team shower in 2001.

McQueary is seeking more than $4 million.