The Evster Breaks Down the NBA Lottery

The Evster Breaks Down the NBA Lottery

Little known fact: every blog post on this website must be about Philadelphia. I once failed to mention Thaddeus Young in a post about who has the smoothest calves in the NBA (it's Udonis Haslem) and Enrico banned me from the site for three months. I wasn't even sure what he meant -- was I banned from writing? banned from reading? -- I think he just wanted to ban someone. It's amazing what a little power can do to a person. So in order to keep everything copacetic with my dictator boss (HAIL ENRICO), I've decided to take a look at the 12 other teams who picked in last night's lottery and determine whether or not they'll have more ping pong balls than us next year.

Cliff's Notes version: NO ONE WILL HAVE MORE PING PONG BALLS THAN US NEXT YEAR

1. Cleveland - Anthony Bennett, F, UNLV

On a night filled with great uncertainty, you gotta hand it to the Cavs for taking a guy who no one has ever seen play basketball. Sure, NBA experts will tell you about his ability to create his own shot and his NBA-READY SMOOTH CHOCOLATEY SHOULDERS, but they simply watched the same three-minute YouTube mix that you did. Three weeks ago, no one even knew that UNLV still had a basketball program. But after they saw Bennett's monster dunks and gigantic butt set to HOT RHYMES AND SWIFT BEATS, why not take him at #1? Personally, I love the pick, love his butt and thought JR Rider was the greatest player of our generation.

Are the Cavs better than the Sixers? They have Kyrie Irving.

2. Orlando - Victor Oladipo, G, Indiana

Tremendous athlete, hard worker, high flyer, just not that good at basketball. Don't get me wrong, you'll love watching Victor finish on the break (in the Rookie Game), it's just the whole dribbling, passing, shooting thing he's not that great at. Still, when you're building a team around Nik Vucevic and Tobias Harris, you want to get the guy who has the most potential to dunk a basketball with his mouth. And I think Magic got their man here. He'll be a mega fan favorite in Orlando for the simple reason that people who live in Florida are complete and total lunatics.

Are the Magic better than the Sixers? Probably.

3. Washington - Otto Porter Jr., F, Georgetown

This pick will work out for the Wizards only if they give their 12th and final roster spot to Otto Porter Sr. Think about it: late in the 4th Quarter, Wizards down 15 at home, fans starting to grumble and pack up their things, when Head Coach Randy Wittman points down the bench for Otto Sr -- or "Pops'o" as his teammates call him -- to check in. Pops'o rises slowly, unbuttons his warm-ups, takes them off and folds them neatly on his chair, a buzz fills the arena, and the Wizards spend the final three minutes trying to run Pops'o off downscreens to get him an open jumper. The Wizards could even offer a free bag of popcorn to every ticket holder when Pops'o scores. This is a brilliant marketing maneuver that has zero chance of failure. Think about how excited you get for the Sixers to hit the century-mark and earn you that disgusting/amazing Big Mac that you never end up redeeming. Now think about what a 55-year-old would look like draining a jumper in Evan Turner's eye. Thank you.

Are the Wizards better than the Sixers? Yes, they have John Wall and he's the greatest player I've ever seen. Watch his top ten plays from last year and try to tell me otherwise.

TRY TO TELL ME OTHERWISE.

4. Charlotte - Cody Zeller, F, Indiana

Thank GAWD the Sixers didn't get him.

Are the Bobcats better than the Sixers? No.

5. Phoenix - Alex Len, F/C, Maryland

TV show pitch for NBATV: Phoenix Suns reality show called "Phoenix Sons." Alex Len (Ukraine), Marcin Gortat (Poland), Luis Scola (Argentina), Goran Dragic (Slovenia), Michael Beasley (Neptune) and the Morris Bros (Illadelph) travel around the country trying to impregnate as many women as possible. The winner gets a new Subaru.

Also, how 'bout the fact that the Suns are coached by our old pal Jeff Hornacek?!?! And how 'bout the fact that old Horny made the most shocking move of anyone before the draft by getting a semi-decent haircut?!?!

Are the Suns better than the Sixers? Jeff Hornacek is better than the Sixers.

6. Philadelphia - Nerlens Noel, F/C, Kentucky

Besides the hair, the mega-rams and the fact that Nerlens will SHOVE A BASKETBALL DOWN YOUR STUPID THROAT, here's another reason why this was a fantastic pick for the Sixers: THIS GUY WILL SHOVE A BASKETBALL DOWN YOUR STUPID THROAT. He's an old fashioned high flying mega ram jam throat stuffer, which is something the Sixers have been sorely lacking ever since Sharone Wright died when he accidentally shoved a basketball down his own stupid throat.

Also, yeah, Jrue Holiday was good, he was fine, but he is the TENTH best point guard in the ligg behind CP3, Rondo, Tony Parker, D-Will, Derrick Rose, Russel Westbreezy, Steph, Uncle Drew and Damien Lillard. Nerlens on the other hand is already the best center in the East even though he has pretty much no offensive skills whatsoever.

Are the Pelicans better than the Sixers? Who cares look how amazing this hat is.


7. Sacramento - Ben McLemore, G, Kansas

"Two-dribble max guy" according to Jay Bilas, which for those of you who haven't quite wrapped your head around that phrase, means that Ben McLemore is only capable of dribbling a basketball twice before he has to stop dribbling.

Are the Kings better than the Sixers? The Kings are absolutely terrible. But yeah, they're prolly better than the Sixers.

8. Detroit - Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, G, Georgia

Doesn't matter. The Pistons selected Peyton Siva with their second round pick, who if you've ever seen PLAY BASKETBALL, is every bit as good as all of these dudes in the lottery. Siva only led his team to THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP in a tournament in which HE PLAYED BASKETBALL MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.

Are the Pistons better than the Sixers? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

(That means yes. The answer is yes.)

9. Utah - Trey Burke, G, Michigan

Poor Trey. Wooden and Naismith player of the year, led his team to the NCAA Final, and now he has to live in Utah. I guess if there's a silver lining to living in Snoozeville, USA, Trey will get to make millions of dollars playing a game where he tries to take a round orange bouncey thing and put it in a hoop.

Are the Jazz better than the Sixers? Yeah, the Jazz are better than the Sixers.

10. Portland - CJ McCollum, G, Lehigh

Whatever, I'm over him.

Are the Blazers better than the Sixers? Obvs, and also I saw a guy in Fairmount Park last weekend selling bean pies in a Sebastian Telfair Blazers jersey and I can't believe I didn't snap his picture I'm so sorry everybody I've let you down I'm so very very sorry.

11. Philadelphia - Michael Carter-Williams, G, Syracuse

This guy stinks. Saw him play countless times at Syracuse and not once did he ever take over a game like a LOTTERY PICK SHOULD. "But Ev, he's got good size for a PG and great court vision!" Yeah? Then why did Utah and Portland, two teams who also took point guards, pass on him in favor of Burke and McCollum? He's a poor man's Shaun Livington, who's not even good, also look at this picture from his Twitter page.

UNACCEPTABLE.

12. Oklahoma City - Steven Adams, C, Pitt

Because 7-foot white guys from New Zealand always pan out well in the NBA.

Are the Thunder better than the Sixers? Good time to talk about Shane Battier's television debut: Terrible. He pretty much only had two questions in his arsenal: "Talk about how much ______ influenced you," and "Who are you most looking forward to playing against?" And only one of those were actual questions. Still, I much preferred him to Stuart Scott who I sort of hope dies?

13. Boston - Kelly Olynyk, F/C, Gonzaga

I can't wait 'til Nerlens shoves a basketball down this guy's throat.

Are the Celtics better than the Sixers? Kris Humphries!

Follow the Evster on Twitter @TVMWW and read his blog.

Now 22/1 to win Super Bowl, Eagles also the NFC East favorite

Now 22/1 to win Super Bowl, Eagles also the NFC East favorite

The Eagles crushed a Super Bowl contender on Sunday at the Linc. And Vegas took notice.

According to Bovada, the Eagles' odds to win the Super Bowl went from 33/1 to 22/1. Just nine teams have shorter odds to win the Super Bowl. The Patriots are tops at 15/4, followed by the Packers (8/1) and the team the Eagles beat, the Steelers (9/1).

With the win, the Eagles also became the favorite to win the NFC East, going from 11/4 to 2/1. They're followed by the Cowboys and Giants (both at 11/5) and last year's division champs, Washington, is at 6/1.

The Eagles are also 12/1 to win the NFC.

Of course, the biggest story for the Eagles this season has been the emergence of rookie quarterback Carson Wentz. He had his first 300-yard passing game Sunday and was named the NFC's Offensive Player of the Week. His odds to win MVP went from 50/1 to 33/1. Those are the same odds as Drew Brees and Eli Manning.

Meanwhile, former Eagles quarterback and current Minnesota Viking Sam Bradford went from 50/1 to 25/1 to win MVP.

While Wentz's MVP odds shortened, his odds to win Rookie of the Year actually got longer, going from 8/5 to 7/4. That could have something to do with the odds of Ezekiel Elliot (7/4), Dak Prescott (5/1) and Sterling Shepard (7/1) all improving.

Flyers Notes: Ivan Provorov not in ‘younger’ lineup; Travis Konecny gets chance with NHLers

Flyers Notes: Ivan Provorov not in ‘younger’ lineup; Travis Konecny gets chance with NHLers

VOORHEES, N.J. — The Flyers’ morning skate Wednesday came with youthful flavor.
 
Ivan Provorov was no part of it.
 
The 19-year-old was with the big-boy contingent on the opposite ice, a group of mostly NHL players that will not play in tonight’s preseason game against the Devils at the PPL Center, home of AHL affiliate Lehigh Valley.
 
Flyers head coach Dave Hakstol said a younger lineup is set for the team’s fourth preseason game.
 
“Every game is a little different,” Hakstol said. “[Tuesday] night we had a more veteran group dress, so not only are we looking at individual performances but we would expect to see a little more of our structure come into play. Tonight’s roster is a little more younger, so we’re still obviously looking to build some of the concept and some of the systems and detail.”
 
Provorov, the Flyers’ prized blue-line prospect and No. 1 roster hopeful of training camp, was featured in the NHL-heavy lineup Tuesday night, playing 21:43 with key minutes on the power play and penalty kill. This followed a night of 28:48 ice time in the Flyers’ split-squad preseason opener Monday.
 
So it was highly unlikely Provorov would play Wednesday, but the fact he was saved for a veteran-laden game instead of a prospect-filled one is telling.
 
Then again, Provorov is far from your typical 19-year-old hockey player.
 
“Right from day one, I think we’ve all saw that early,” Hakstol said. “A year ago, the focus, the ability to be detailed and to handle himself like a pro, albeit a young pro. Ivan has a great level of maturity to him.”
 
Provorov has done his work thus far. It’s his time to watch for a game.
 
“You look for him to be able to go out and do things consistently and efficiently,” Hakstol said. “I think for the most part, Ivan was able to do that [Tuesday] night.
 
Konecny with Schenn, Raffl
While one 19-year-old sits, another gets his chance.
 
Although prospect Travis Konecny — also looking to make the NHL jump — did not play Tuesday, he’ll still have a chance to open eyes with NHL forwards tonight.
 
The talented winger will be paired with Brayden Schenn and Michael Raffl, both of whom were clearly especially selected to play tonight with Konecny.
 
“They see the ice real well, I’ve just got to move my feet and get in the good areas and I’m sure they’re going to find the spots,” Konecny said. “I’m going to try to not do too much tonight and just let the game kind of take care of itself — and take care of the little things I can control.”
 
The 24th overall pick of the 2015 draft amassed 101 points at the junior level last season. Putting NHL talent around him should only help and it serves as an amplified audition of sorts.
 
“It gives him an opportunity to play with two veteran players,” Hakstol said. “Travis is no different than anyone else, just go out and play his game. Every player, it’s one of the challenges coming into camp, to go out and make an impression. Every player needs to do that from Day 1. We’re getting into our fourth exhibition game here now, so it’s an opportunity for Travis to go out and play the way he plays. He has an opportunity to do that with two veteran players.”
 
Konecny, 5-foot-10 with speed and skill, is keeping things simple in his second NHL camp.
 
“I think this year I’m trying to approach it and play the game the right way,” he said. “Last year, I came in excited and I had my feet going, my energy, but I was kind of all over the place. I’m trying to follow the system and play the right way this year.
 
“My first game a couple days ago, it was quick pace, I wasn’t really expecting it — it’s been a long time since I was in that kind of speed. So I think tonight’s game I’ll be a little more relaxed and ready to go.”

Roster moves
The Flyers on Wednesday assigned Mark Dekanich, Chris McCarthy, Maxim Lamarche, Martin Ouellette, Jesper Pettersson, Steve Swavely, Kevin Sundher to Lehigh Valley, which opens its training camp Friday. The Flyers' roster now stands at 49.
 
Loose pucks
Other NHLers expected to play tonight: Defenseman Brandon Manning and center Boyd Gordon. “Boyd has had a good camp,” Hakstol said. “He got in game action the first time [Tuesday]. As you’d expect, he did a real good job within his role of starting with faceoffs and the responsible style of play he has.” … Alex Lyon and Anthony Stolarz will be the goalies. Both will compete for starting time with the Phantoms this season.