The Evster remembers the Southwest Philly Floater

The Evster remembers the Southwest Philly Floater

Earlier this week, The 700 Level named the Southwest Philly Floater as our #1 favorite Philly sports moment of the year. Now while you can argue that the Snow Bowl was more epic, or that Spencer Hawes not sucking was more mind-blowing, there was no play -- or post game interview -- that was any more "Philly" than the Southwest Philly Floater.

The shot itself? whatever. It wasn't even really a floater. More of a hop-step, looping layup that pretty much every combo guard in the country has in his arsenal, regardless of where he grew up. The game? meh. A 13th-seeded mid-major knocking off a 12th-seeded bubble squad happens pretty much every March. But there was something about this moment that was just so "Philly."

Tyrone Garland (who by the way, is only the THIRD ALL-TIME LEADING SCORER in the Public League's history, behind only Maureece Rice and a guy named WILTON NORMAN CHAMBERLAIN) didn't settle for an end-of-the-game pull-up jumper like Carmelo, or a step-back 3 like Steph, he drove it into the paint, because that's what Philly guards do. Garland's "Floater" is a high-percentage look in any gymnasium and on every blacktop, regardless of heavy winds or double rims. When the game is on the line in Philly, you don't launch a fadeaway jumper, you take it to the rack. And then you shout out your whole goddamn neighborhood.

What's wrong with Philly fans that this makes us SO happy? To have a stupid basketball play -- and one of the roughest sections of town -- as the lead story on the 11 o'clock SportsCenter? I think it's clear that we have some sort of major inferiority complex, built up from years of living in the shadows of DC and New York. We don't have the polish and pull of the nation's capital, and we can't even come close to the glitter and glam of the Big Apple. The two biggest celebs we've raised in the last 30 years -- Will Smith and Kobe Bryant -- both stuck us in their rearview mirror on the way to LA. Whether or not we choose to admit it, THIS STINGS US DEEPLY, but when a guy like Tyrone Garland -- who left Philly to play ball at Virginia Tech, but then came back! -- puts Southwest Philly on the map, it makes us all proud to be from America's fattest city.

(And by the by, anyone who says Kobe isn't "Philly," shut up. Just shut up. The dude's dad was as Southwest Philly as you can get, playing at the same high school (and college) as Tyrone Garland. Just because Joe Bryant chose to raise his family ZERO POINT THREE MILES west of City Line Avenue, does not mean that his son is a Main Line wimp. If there is a ballplayer whose game is any more "Philly" than Kobe Bryant's -- playing through injuries, attacking the rim, locking up on D -- please show him to me. Rasheed Wallace left North Philly for the wine and cheese of Chapel Hill. Does that make him an outsider? KB is a stone cold killa AND he got a 1080 on his SATs.)

The thing is, most Philly fans who leapt out of their seats after Tyrone Garland's buzzer beater were not from Southwest, nor were they even La Salle basketball fans. I can safely say that La Salle is BY FAR my fifth-favorite city team. Maybe even sixth depending on how Drexel's lookin'. The only time I ever go to Southwest is to pick up a 50-pack of munchkins from the Dunkin Donuts on Island Avenue on the way to the airport. But after Tyrone Garland knocked off Mississippi, we were all from Southwest. We all had a Cousin Bern. And we all considered Craig Sager to be the world's biggest dork.

For one night in March, it didn't matter if you were #TempleMade or belonged to the Merion Cricket Club, Tyrone Garland was representin' for all of us. Nowhere else in the world did coaches teach their guards to take it into big guy's necks. Nowhere else did fellas rock pointy, bushy beards. Nowhere else did people get goosebumps by simply watching the opening credits of Trading Places. Only in the 2-1-5. Only in Illadelph.

Lionel Simmons played Gameboy like a boss.

Yeah, we might mispronounce the plural form of "you", and our public school system is a friggin' joke, but this is the home of the Southwest Philly Floater. The town where Ben Franklin invented a little somethin' called E-LEC-TRICITY. The place where the fastest, most bonkers offense in the NFL put up 54 big ones against the Chicago Bears.

Next victim: the bitch-ass Dallas Cowboys.

YA HEARD?

Follow The Evster @TVMWW

Best of MLB: Nelson Cruz drives in 7 as Mariners pummel Blue Jays

Best of MLB: Nelson Cruz drives in 7 as Mariners pummel Blue Jays

TORONTO -- Nelson Cruz hit his ninth career grand slam and added a three-run shot, and Hisashi Iwakuma pitched six innings to win his fifth straight start in Seattle's victory over Toronto.

Cruz hit his slam off R.A. Dickey (7-11) in the third, then added a three-run drive off Drew Storen in the eighth for his 20th career multi-homer game. He has 25 home runs this season.

It was the 13th time in team history a Mariners player has recorded seven RBIs. The team record is eight by Mike Blowers, Mike Cameron and Alvin Davis.

Kyle Seager hit a two-run homer and Nori Aoki had two RBIs and scored twice as the Mariners used a season-high 19 hits to win their third straight. Iwakuma (11-6) allowed two runs and four hits.

Wade LeBlanc pitched the final three innings for his first save (see full recap).

Stanton leads Marlins past Mets
MIAMI -- Giancarlo Stanton homered and had his first four-hit game since 2012, driving in three runs to give Jose Fernandez all the support he needed, and Miami beat New York.

Miami rocked Jacob deGrom (6-5), who allowed 10 hits and five runs, both season highs, and lasted just 3 2/3 innings in his shortest outing since August.

Fernandez (12-4) gave up two runs in seven innings to match his career high for victories, achieved in his 2013 rookie season. He also had two hits, hiking his average to .265, and drove in the first run.

Home Run Derby winner Stanton put Miami ahead to stay in the third inning when he hit a majestic two-run homer off the left-field scoreboard above the 401-foot sign. He added an RBI single in the fourth, and singled in the first and sixth, hiking his average to .241 after a prolonged slump (see full recap).  

Dodgers snap Cardinals' 5-game win streak
ST. LOUIS -- Adrian Gonzalez hit his eighth homer, red-hot Justin Turner got two more RBIs and the Los Angeles Dodgers beat St. Louis 7-2 on Saturday night to end the Cardinals' five-game winning streak.

Turner's two-run double capped a four-run third. He has 14 RBIs since the All-Star break.

Gonzalez's 429-foot solo blast to center sparked a three-run sixth.

Kenta Maeda (9-7) rebounded from a poor outing against Arizona on July 17, giving up two runs over 5 2/3 innings. Only one of the Cardinals' first 15 batters was able to hit the ball out of the infield against the Japanese right-hander.

Andrew Toles went 3 for 4 and scored once for the Dodgers. He has reached safely in nine of 10 games since being called up from the minors.

Mike Leake (7-8) allowed seven runs -- six earned -- in six innings.

Matt Adams homered for the second consecutive game. His blast to left in the fourth extended the Cardinals' streak of home runs to 14 straight games.

Aledmys Diaz reached safely for the 26th straight game with a first-inning single. Diaz's streak is the second-longest by a Cardinals rookie since Albert Pujols had streaks of 30 and 48 games in 2001 (see full recap).

Drew's walk-off triple lifts Nats past Padres
WASHINGTON -- Pinch-hitter Stephen Drew hit a game-ending RBI triple in the ninth inning to lift Washington past San Diego,

Anthony Rendon opened the bottom off the ninth with a single off reliever Kevin Quackenbush (6-4). Drew entered with one out and drove a pitch off the center-field scoreboard, and Rendon raced around the bases for the winning run.

Jonathan Papelbon (2-2) allowed a leadoff double in the ninth before retiring three straight batters. San Diego left runners in scoring position in each of the last two innings.

Washington starter Max Scherzer struck out 10 over seven innings (see full recap).

Giants top Yanks in extras to snap losing skid
NEW YORK -- Mac Williamson homered in the fifth inning and hit a tiebreaking single in the 12th, lifting San Francisco past New York for the Giants' first victory since the All-Star break.

NL West-leading San Francisco had lost a season-high six straight games and had held just one lead since the break -- when Buster Posey hit a go-ahead home run leading off the 10th inning at San Diego on July 16 only to have the Padres rally for a pair of runs in the bottom half against Santiago Casilla.

Williamson, whose fourth-inning error allowed the Yankees' run, began the comeback when he connected off Ivan Nova leading off the fifth.

Trevor Brown hit an opposite-field double to right off Anthony Swarzak (1-1) leading off the 12th, and Williamson singled up the middle with one out, just past the glove of diving shortstop Didi Gregorius. San Francisco was 0 for 10 with runners in scoring position, dropping to 7 for 64 (.111) since the All-Star break, before Williamson's single.

Cheered on by hundreds of orange-clad fans in the Giants' old hometown, San Francisco escaped a bases-loaded, one-out jam in the 10th when Casilla (2-3) retired Brian McCann on a shallow flyout and Starlin Castro on a foulout. Hunter Strickland pitched a perfect 12th for his second save (see full recap).

Joel Embiid posts amazing tribute to Sam Hinkie on Instagram

Joel Embiid posts amazing tribute to Sam Hinkie on Instagram

The treasure trove that is Joel Embiid's social media presence unearthed another jewel on Saturday evening.

The Sixers' big man took to Instagram to post a picture of himself chatting with local folk legend Sam Hinkie. As if that wasn't enough, check out the captions he wrote at the bottom.

THE GOAT #HeDiedForOurSins #TrustTheProcess

A photo posted by Joel Hans Embiid (@joelembiid) on

Let us break this down.

"THE GOAT" - As in Greatest Of All Time, not an actual goat you would find at your local petting zoo.

"#HeDiedForOurSins" - St. Sam, patron saint of analytical basketball martyrdom.

"#TrustTheProcess" - The rallying cry of the masses.

Sure, they may have taken away Sam, but they'll never take away JoJo's social media platforms. Never!

Union have no answer for Didier Drogba, Impact in 5-1 loss

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Associated Press

Union have no answer for Didier Drogba, Impact in 5-1 loss

MONTREAL  -- Didier Drogba broke out with a hat trick to lead the Montreal Impact to a 5-1 victory over the Union on Saturday night.

The 38-year-old Ivorian striker hadn't scored since May 28. He returned last week after missing three games with a thigh injury.

Ignacio Piatti returned after sitting out a one-game suspension to score a goal and add two assists. Recent signing Matteo Mancuso, who went in for Drogba in the 79th minute, got his first MLS goal in added time.

Montreal improved to 7-5-8.

Chris Pontius scored for Philadelphia (8-7-6).