Bill Conlin Bores The Shit Out of Me

Bill Conlin Bores The Shit Out of Me
January 7, 2007, 9:40 pm
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So last nights Eagles game was one of the most exciting finishes we've seen in a while right?  Let's see what Bill Conlin made of it.  His lede:

The long snapper snapped. The long snappee plucked the football out of
the rain with hands sure enough to catch a baby dropped from the roof
of a burning building. Then he spun it with one deft motion as he was
placing the point on the wet ground. The laces were correctly facing
the goal posts 38 yards away.

With the snap, the catch, the spot and turn accomplished successfully,
all that remained was for the kicker to drive it through the uprights
...

Ugh.  I'm all for painting a picture and all, but I'm snoozing already here, Bill.

Andy Reid has not missed many tricks during the Eagles’ epic
renaissance and he didn’t miss this one. He re-signed the best holder
the Eagles ever have had — at least since the shape of the football was
changed from ovoid to oblong.

Perhaps I'm pointing out my own ignorance here, but how many of you actually knew what 'ovoid' meant?  And how many of you actually knew there was a time when a football was egg shaped?  Well, as they say, you learn something new everyday.  Thanks Bill.  I guess?

He finishes:

If Andy Reid keeps a “Things to Do” list, signing Jon Dorenbos, the
long snapper, and re-signing Koy Detmer, the snappee, were two of the
snappiest things he did during this season of unexpected snapbacks.

Oh SNAP!  I don't know what the whole point of this post was.  I think I just wanted to point out that Bill Conlin makes me want to punch myself in the face.

>>Presto! Bringing back Koy was a neat trick [Inquirer] (You know, because Dorenbos is a MAGICIAN! Come on, Koy Under Pressure was so much better.)

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