Even The Onion thinks Phillies stink

Even The Onion thinks Phillies stink

From "MLB Promises Next Season Will Be Even More Predictable" over at Onion Sports:

"I don't have time to leaf through box scores or sit through entire
games to know what's going on in baseball," said Doug Wentel, a casual
Braves fan who takes comfort in knowing that his team will make the
playoffs each year, and never builds up expectations of them ever
advancing past the first round. "I want to be able to say 'Not looking
good for the Cubbies, eh?' or 'How about that Barry Bonds?' at any
given point during the season and seem like I know what I'm talking

It's not one of the best Onion articles ever but it has its moments.  What I found particularly interesting is no mention of the Phillies when talking about next year's contenders.  Even the geeks over at the Onion know we stink.

Selig pointed out that at the trading deadline this year, nearly 20
teams had legitimate chances of making the playoffs, significantly
reducing the number of big-name salary-dump trades that fans have come
to know and expect. "This year, there were so many teams in the running
that fans were starting to experience information overload," Selig
said. "Next season, we'd like the teams with realistic postseason
chances whittled down to a manageable 10 by the All-Star break."

This bodes particularly well for the Yankees, Red Sox, Indians, Angels, A's, Braves, Marlins, Cardinals, Astros, and Padres.

The Marlins?  The Padres?  What's that about. 

Also extremely funny from the news in brief: First Report On Long-Term Effexts Of Breakdancing Released  | Fox Cancels ALCS After Just Two Episodes

In real Phillies news, The Bucks County Courier Times is reporting that Gerry Hunsicker is the leading candidate to replace Ed Wade.  Their website was down so I couldn't find a link.

TicketIQ: Penn State to face USC in most expensive Rose Bowl this decade

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TicketIQ: Penn State to face USC in most expensive Rose Bowl this decade

Editor's Note: The following is sponsored content written by TicketIQ.

Penn State is headed to the Rose Bowl Game, and it will cost a pretty penny to be on hand in Pasadena on January 2.

With a statement win over Wisconsin in the Big Ten Championship Game Penn State clinched their first Rose Bowl berth since 2009. The No. 5 school in the nation will face No. 9 USC in a rematch from seven years ago. Such a long absence for both schools in the bowl game is driving resale ticket prices to new heights, so much so that the Rose Bowl Game will be the most expensive bowl game this season – including the two Semifinal games.

On TicketIQ, an event ticket search engine that pools tickets and data from over 90 percent of the secondary market, the average resale price for Rose Bowl Game tickets is now $804. Not only does that make it the most expensive Rose Bowl since at least 2010, but also the priciest bowl game of the last seven seasons. If looking just to get in on January 2 the cheapest tickets are now priced from $346 each.

The showdown between Penn State and USC is so expensive that it will be more than twice the average price of both Semifinal games. As it stands now the resale average for Peach Bowl tickets between Alabama and Washington at Georgia Dome is $389 with a get-in price of $185. Clemson and Ohio State will clash in the Fiesta Bowl to the tune of a $241 average and $71 get-in price.

Prices are so high for this year’s game in Pasadena that they rival the 2015 National Championship Game. The first-ever Championship Game under the new College Football Playoff system, that year’s game between Ohio State and Oregon averaged a $858 ticket and $317 get-in price.

While Penn State fans, students and alumni raced to snag tickets during the general on sale, prices were quick to skyrocket on the secondary market following the school’s invitation to the Rose Bowl Game. On Saturday afternoon, several hours before the Big Ten Championship kickoff, Rose Bowl tickets were averaging under $600, marking a nearly 40 percent increase since that time. The cheapest resale ticket price has jumped more than $100 since Saturday, climbing from its $245 price tag since.