Nnamdi Asomugha to retire from football—we get Nnamdi’d one last time

Nnamdi Asomugha to retire from football—we get Nnamdi’d one last time

Wide receivers around the NFL shed some tears on Thursday evening upon hearing the news that four-time All-Pro cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha is retiring from pro football. Multiple outlets are reporting Asomugha will sign a one-day contract with the Oakland Raiders on Friday then ride off into the sunset. He last played for the San Francisco 49ers, but was waived on November 4.

In some parts of the world, people might ponder whether Asomugha belongs in the Hall of Fame. This particular corner will not be one of them*, because the only thing Nnamdi Asomugha is famous for around the City of Brotherly Love is being the biggest free-agent bust in Philadelphia Eagles history.

The Eagles signed Asomugha to a five-year contract worth $60 million with $25 million guaranteed in July, 2011. He was the prize piece from Joe Banner and/or Andy Reid’s Post-Lockout Summer Free-Agent Bonanza, a last-ditch effort to slap a team—a “Dream Team”—around Michael Vick after he had just taken the league by storm the previous season.

Widely considered one of the top two cornerbacks in the NFL at the time of his signing, Asomugha never lived up to his reputation as a shutdown corner. There were debates over whether the coaching staff—led at the time by offensive-line-coach-turned-defensive-coordinator Juan Castillo—was using its new personnel correctly, a theory Asomugha himself seldom denied. Regardless of technique or scheme though, he continued getting beat.

Asomugha was cut after two abysmal seasons with the Eagles. The team happily parted ways despite eating $4 million in guaranteed money in the deal. He eventually signed with the 49ers in April, but did not last the season, appearing in just three games.

What brought about his sudden decline is still not entirely clear. Asomugha had just turned 30 upon joining the Eagles, so it’s possible after eight seasons in the NFL, he simply hit a wall. It’s possible the decline began much sooner—Nnamdi had such a reputation in Oakland that quarterbacks often refused to throw or even look in his direction. Being shuffled into different roles in Philly likely accelerated the process, as opponents quickly began to see he could be exploited.

Asomugha also seemed indifferent at times. He wasn’t above upstaging his teammates on the field. He would openly question the game plan in the media. Was he unhappy with the organization or in Philadelphia? Did he lose his desire after cashing in on one last big payday?

Whatever the case, Asomugha’s rapid exit in San Fran and decision to retire indicate the Philly coaching staff didn’t break him. He was never very good to begin with by the time he got here.

So, I guess this is goodbye—at least until he acts in something again. Nnamdi Asomugha will never blow off his teammates at the cafeteria to make personal calls and eat lunch alone in his car again. He’ll never halfheartedly miss another tackle, or get burned on a deep pass and make faces at the nearest safety.

A fan base weeps for DeSean Jackson, as we all get Nnamdi’d one last time.

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*Okay, even if we did entertain the notion of Asomugha in the Hall, he spent six full seasons as a starting quarterback cornerback for the Raiders, and while they were presumably six elite seasons (even if probably they all weren’t), his career arc didn’t have enough longevity. Also, just no.

Watch: Jon Dorenbos performs glass-shattering magic trick on America's Got Talent

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Watch: Jon Dorenbos performs glass-shattering magic trick on America's Got Talent

Eagles long snapper Jon Dorenbos was back on America's Got Talent on Tuesday night to continue his magical run on the popular show judged by Simon Cowell, Heidi Klum and their pals.

Dorenbos went with card tricks on his first two appearances on the show (trick 1, trick 2) but mixed things up last night with an interesting trick involving some homemade art.

Each of the judges were told to quickly draw something on a piece of paper and Dorenbos easily guessed who drew what. But that wasn't the crazy part. Dorenbos started the performance by walking out with a glass bottle with a prediction on it. At the end of the drawing exibit, Dorenbos broke the bottle and there was an envelope with the exact drawings labeled with each corresponding artists' name.

To move on, Dorenbos will need to earn the fans vote. The voting has closed but will be announced in the coming days. Watch the wild performance below.

He certainly has Doug Pederson's vote:

Phillies-Marlins 5 things: Zach Eflin looks for 7th straight quality start

Phillies-Marlins 5 things: Zach Eflin looks for 7th straight quality start

Phillies (46-56) at Marlins (54-46)
12:10 p.m. on CSN

A night after shutting out the Marlins, the Phillies were blanked themselves, falling to the Fish, 5-0, on Tuesday. The Phils look to claim a series win this afternoon in the rubber match. Let's take a look:

1. Zach Eflin, quality start machine
Zach Eflin (3-3, 3.40) allowed nine runs in 2⅔ innings in his MLB debut in Toronto in early June. Things unraveled quickly for him, and the outing made you wonder whether he had the stuff to get major-league hitters out.

He has the stuff to get major-league hitters out.

In seven starts since that debut, Eflin has a 2.08 ERA, a 0.86 WHIP and an opponents' batting average of .207. He's struck out only 24 batters in 47⅔ innings, but walked just five. The control he showed in the minors has translated to the majors. With 1.43 walks per nine innings, Eflin has the fourth-best walk rate in the majors among starting pitchers with at least 50 innings, behind only Clayton Kershaw, Josh Tomlin and Mike Leake.

Eflin, who is 6-foot-6, has the look of a future workhorse. He's been one lately for the Phils, pitching two complete games and completing six innings in six straight starts. 

Eflin has not yet faced the Marlins in his young career.

2. Offense needs a spark
Not sure what it is about Tom Koehler that proves so troublesome for the Phillies. He throws in the low-to-mid-90s and has a decent curveball, but the rest of the league has hit him around. Koehler has faced the Phils four times this season and held them to a .149 batting average while posting a 1.64 ERA. Against all other teams, Koehler has a 5.13 ERA and .302 opponents' batting average.

The Phillies' offense has been anemic since the All-Star break, averaging fewer than 3.0 runs per game and hitting right around .200. The players who were so hot before the break — Cody Asche, Peter Bourjos (who was hurt Tuesday) — have cooled significantly. 

The only players who have hit for the Phillies since the break are Carlos Ruiz (7 for 13, two doubles) and the first basemen. Tommy Joseph is 9 for 29 (.310) with a double, two homers and four RBIs, while Ryan Howard has hit .263 with a pair of homers. 

3. Scouting Conley
The Phillies this afternoon face 26-year-old Marlins left-hander Adam Conley, who is 6-5 with a 3.58 ERA in his first full big-league season. 

Conley is a lanky, 6-foot-3 lefty with a whipping arm motion that creates some deception and can't be too comfortable for a hitter to face. He can be truly dominant at times, like he was on April 29 when he no-hit the Brewers over 7⅔ innings. 

Conley has been especially effective over the last month, going 3-1 with a 2.63 ERA in seven starts and allowing more than two earned runs just once.

The Phillies faced him on May 16 at Citizens Bank Park and scored one run on eight hits in six innings. 

Conley is a three-pitch pitcher: fastball, slider, changeup. He throws his 92 to 94 mph heater 66 percent of the time. The changeup is such an effective pitch for him because of the aforementioned whip-like delivery. It's hard for a hitter to diagnose the change in speeds when he has wiry arms and legs coming at him.

Conley has reverse platoon splits: Lefties have hit .287 against him while righties have hit just .221.

4. The lineups
The Phillies are going with an unconventional lineup Wednesday. Cesar Hernandez gets his first start of the season at shortstop. Taylor Featherston makes his first start at second base after striking out as a pinch-hitter in his Phillies debut Tuesday. And seldom-used outfielders Tyler Goeddel and Jimmy Paredes are in the corners.

1. Cesar Hernandez, SS
2. Odubel Herrera, CF
3. Maikel Franco, 3B
4. Tommy Joseph, 1B
5. Cameron Rupp, C
6. Tyler Goeddel, LF
7. Taylor Featherston, 2B
8. Jimmy Paredes, RF
9. Zach Eflin, P

And for the Marlins:

1. J.T. Realmuto, C
2. Martin Prado, 3B
3. Christian Yelich, LF
4. Giancarlo Stanton, RF
5. Marcell Ozuna, CF
6. Adeiny Hechavarria, SS
7. Miguel Rojas, 2B
8. Don Kelly, 1B
9. Adam Conley, P

5. This and that
• This is the 13th game between the Phillies and Marlins this season. They've split the first 12. It's been a competitive head-to-head matchup between these teams the last three years, with the Phillies going 26-24 against the Fish since 2014.

• The Phillies are 10 games under .500. They haven't been 11 games under since June 28. They're on pace to finish 73-89, which would be a 10-win upgrade over last year.

Stephen Colbert mocks Phillies, introduces Hilly Phanatic

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Stephen Colbert mocks Phillies, introduces Hilly Phanatic

The only surprising thing about Stephen Colbert making fun of the Phillies with the Democratic National Convention in town this week is that it took until Tuesday.

Colbert used our beloved Phillies as the brunt of a joke last night and then invited out the "Hilly Phanatic" instead because the real guy was unvailable.

"Unfortunately the Phillie Phanatic wasn't available for the convention because it belongs to some baseball team and they can't spare him because he's the only entertaining part," Colbert said.

As you can see below, the Hilly Phanatic has the personality of Mike Pence compared to the real Phillie Phanatic. This one looks like the Phillie Phanatic's second cousin from overseas, not from the Galapagos but rather from the land of Smurfs.