Nobody Cares About Your Fantasy Team: Week Two Results

Nobody Cares About Your Fantasy Team: Week Two Results

Well, this was a pretty rough week all-around for Eagles fans, but us here at the Level at least can take solace in something of a bounceback week in our Inaugural Fantasy League. Team Enrico rode a monstrous fantasy performance from Titans RB Chris Johnson to a league-high 113 points and easy Week Two victory, and my Edmonton Enigmas barely held off a disturbingly surging performance from Dolphins/Findum Pluckum and Flee back Ronnie Brown last night to secure a squeaker win and get myself on the board as well. Kulp's wasn't quite so lucky, unfortunately, as for the second straight week, his Andy Reid's Drug Emporium scored 90+ points, but didn't come out with the W. We're glad that the blog at large is on the board, at least.

Congrats to Team Vicktory and The Marmots for being the only two 2-0 teams, and kudos as well to Hayyy, Girl! and the South Park Towelies for evening their records at 1-1. Full stats for the League and the Eagles' individual performances (of which DeSean Jackson's 17 points were a team high) after the jump:

Edmonton Enigmas 89 (1-1) - Findum Pluckum and Flee 87 (1-1)
Team Enrico 113 (1-1) - Koy Detmer's Neck Beard 59 (1-1)
Hayyy, Girl! 99 (1-1) - Andy Reid's Drug Emporium 94 (0-2)
Team Vicktory 105 (2-0) - Kibbles n Vicks 53 (1-1)
The Marmots 109 (2-0) - MagicMac #5 (1-1)
South Park Towelies 93 (1-1) - Wildcat Malt Offense 74 (0-2)

DeSean Jackson - 17 (Marmots)
Jason Avant - 13 (Andy Reid)
Brent Celek - 10 (Koy Detmer)
David Akers - 8 (Wildcat)
Brian Westbrook - 6 (Enrico)
Kevin Curtis - 4 (Enigmas)
LeSean McCoy - 4 (MagicMac)
Jeremy Maclin - 1 (Towelies)
Leonard Weaver - 0 (Vicktory)
Alex Smith - 0 (Kibbles)
Hank Baskett - 0 (Hayy Girl)--technically no longer still an Eagle, but we'll let it go for the week.
Eagles D - -4 (Findum)--only down 40 points from last week.

Not So Fast Joel Embiid: Nik Stauskas's dad claims his son is the original 'The Process'

Not So Fast Joel Embiid: Nik Stauskas's dad claims his son is the original 'The Process'

Philadelphia 76ers sharp shooter Nik Stauskas is back on his "Sauce and Co." podcast with a couple of very special guests: his Momma Ruta and Pappa Paul.

After being overly Canadian in their take on Friday night's brutal loss -- "less than stellar" --  to the Orlando Magic, Mr. Stauskas brings the heat with a fantastic "fun fact."

"Speaking of Joel, I have a fun fact for your audience here," Paul Stauskas says. "I have to give him a new moniker."

He doesn't exactly have a new one yet but...

"'The Process' has already been taken. In 2013 there was a documentary made about Nik called 'Nik Stauskas: The Process.' So if Embiid wants to continue using that, I'm affraid he's going to have to pay a royalty."

                         [Related: Joel Embiid feels 'The Process' is about him]

And if you hit up YouTube, there is is, a 21-minute documentary about a younger Nik Stauskas.

"If this does blow up, there may be some royalty fees he owes me," Nik adds. "I'll have to bring that up to Joel."

"He's got the cheddar," Paul says. "So he can pay up."

You can listen to the Stauskas family podcast in full below.

Eagles Injury Update: Mathews and Matthews to return to practice

Eagles Injury Update: Mathews and Matthews to return to practice

If you're searching for some good news following the Eagles' dismal 32-14 loss to the Bengals on Sunday afternoon, here it is. 

Jordan Matthews (ankle) and Ryan Mathews (knee) are going to return to practice this week, head coach Doug Pederson said on Monday. 

Ryan Mathews, who suffered an MCL sprain against Seattle, has missed the last two weeks. The Eagles averaged just 77 yards rushing in those two losses, going with Wendell Smallwood, Darren Sproles and Kenjon Barner. 

Jordan Matthews, who has been the Eagles' best and most consistent receiver this season, suffered an ankle sprain against the Packers and was inactive on Sunday against the Bengals. It was the first game he ever missed in college or in the NFL. 

Wideout Dorial Green-Beckham, who injured his midsection and got X-rays during the game, has an oblique contusion, according to Pederson. Green-Beckham is sore and will be held from practice on Wednesday, but Pederson expects him to be "OK" for the Washington game on Sunday. 

Pederson said right tackle Halapoulivaati Vaitai is "coming along," but isn't yet ready to return. 

"He's going to do a little more this week, not from a practice standpoint but from a rehab standpoint, and he's doing good," Pederson said. "But we'll see where he is again later in the week."

In Vaitai's absence, left guard Allen Barbre has shifted from left guard to right tackle and Stefen Wisniewski has replaced him at left guard.