So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
The Eagles have signed former Dolphins offensive guard Dallas Thomas to a reserve/futures contract.
Thomas, 27, was drafted by the Dolphins in the third round (No. 77) out of Tennessee in 2013 and was with them until this past season.
In his four-year career, Thomas has played in 37 games with 26 starts. He started nine games in 2014 and started all 16 games at left guard in 2015.
Thomas (6-5, 315 pound) and 2014 third-rounder Billy Turner were both released in October after a poor showing agains the Titans. While Thomas was the team's starter at left guard in 2015, rookie Laremy Tunsil took over that position with the Dolphins in 2016.
In 2015, when Thomas started all 16 games at left guard, he was ranked as the worst guard in football by ProFootballFocus. He gave up 10 sacks, 10 QB hits and 36 QB hurries.
Mike Trout sure does win a lot when the Eagless beat the Cowboys.
Not only did the Los Angeles Angels outfielder get a touchdown ball from Carson Wentz during the Eagles win over the Cowboys to cap off the season, but he also won a bet on the game with a friend.
Turns out, Trout had some sort of bet with DJ Cottrell, whose Twitter profile says he is from Trout's hometown of Millville, NJ. Cottrell is likely a Cowboys fan and came up on the losing end.
"The fact I have to wear an entire Eagles uniform to the gym for a week is going to be the death of me," he Tweeted on Tuesday.
The fact I have to wear an entire Eagles uniform to the gym for a week is going to be the death of me.— DJ Cottrell (@_CottrellDJ) January 17, 2017
Then he posted a photo of himself in the ridiculous football uniform while posing alongside Trout.
It's good to be Mike Trout. Not so much a Dallas Cowboys fan these days.