The Evster: The best (and worst) feelings in sports

The Evster: The best (and worst) feelings in sports

Sadly, most of us will never dunk on a dude's neck. Or turn on an inside fastball and send it over the Green Monster. But for some stupid reason, we still love to compete. From skating on ice that's just been Zamboni'ed to having Wes Welker fall to the 6th round of your draft, these are some of sports' simplest of pleasures.

THE BEST

Receiving a "Thank You" Point in Basketball - You're at the Y on a cold Tuesday night, and nothing is goin' your way. Your shot's not falling, your team's lost two straight, and the old dude with the rec-specs keeps lookin' you off. But then something happens that turns everything around, and pretty much validates your entire existence.

An easy layup. Not for you, but for your teammate, set up by you and your Bobby Hurley-like vision. On the way back downcourt, your teammate gives you a nod, and then the subtle point. "Good look," he says, thanking you for the bucket. "Your goddamn right it was," you think, but for now you stay silent. Because no one drops fresh dimes like you do.

Blasting An Opponent's Shuffleboard Disc Off the Court - Why you agreed to play shuffleboard, who can remember? But now it's 95 degrees and you're stuck hanging out with the entire cast of Cocoon. To make things worse, your Uncle Don's in the zone, and if you don't blast him out of that stupid 10-point triangle, victory is his.

You have two options: miss on purpose (so you can get on with your day) or blast that jerk (and live to fight another round). You know what to do. You are a warrior.

Ohhhhhhh baby, this one's on point, zipping along the pavement like a heat-seeking missile. (Or maybe more just like a disc-seeking disc. Yeah, let's not get carried away here, it's just shuffleboard for cryin' out loud. And let's face it, heat-seeking missiles are kinda all over the place anyway.) But then ...WAMMO! Take the walk, Uncle Don, the fat lady ain't singin' just yet.

Opening a Fresh Can of Tennis Balls - The only thing better than smelling fuzzy Penn 2′s is popping open a can of BBQ Pringles.

That Sweet, Perfect 8-iron - Ahhhh, that sound, that feeling, THAT LOFT, you are a natural. Seriously, if you quit your job and moved down to Florida, you could be on the PGA Tour in 6 to 8 months. Maybe 10. You are the next Rick Rhoden.

Unbuckling Your Ski Boots After a Long Day on the Slopes - What the freak were you thinking? This is fun? Paying $96 dollars for severe lower back pain? Pretty much every 11-year-old kid is better than you at this sport. Even the kid with snot all over his goggles. How it got there? You'll never know, but the fact remains that that kid has layers of snot caked all over his face.

But now it's almost over. The lodge is in sight. So very close to a cup of hot chocolate and ultimate relief. Skis off, poles down, heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe, snowpants swishing, looking for any bench, ANY GODDAMN BENCH, that can support your cherry red butt. And then you sit down, and unbuckle your boots, OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY SO TIGHT, HOW DID I EVEN CLAMP THEM ON IN THE FIRST PLACE, and then, release, all is right in the world. Bow down to the king of the mountain.

Picking up a Spare in the 10th Frame - Your wrist is throbbing and your feet are on fire, your high score for the night is a 78. But then comes the tenth, and the extra ball that comes with it, and suddenly the pins need to be punished.

Crushing a Wiffle Ball Over a Fence, Ending the Game Immediately -- You are, without a doubt, the Dave Kingman of your generation. Only handsomer. And with a compact swing that would make Chase Utley jels. "Do I lift weights? Nah, not really. Not really. It's all in the hips. Learned how to take cuts from an old ballcoach. You mighta heard of him, Tom Emanski? Whatever, no big deal, only led his teams to back-to-back-to-back AAU titles. Whatever, only the greatest baseball coach/VHS salesman who has ever lived. You should prolly look him up. If you wanna hit like me."

No one who grabbed that plastic yellow stick before you hit one out of the yard. Not even your cousin's 19-year-old boyfriend, and he played Legion. But you? You jacked that knuckler onto the neighbor's roof, and now it's time to get yourself a cheeseburg.

(For the record, the feeling of smashing anything is amazing. Ping Pong balls, whack-a-mole, watermelons, all fantastic. Any one of them could've been included in this piece.)

THE WORST FEELINGS

Unfortunately, there is no glory without pain. Sometimes we fail. And sometimes we barf. And sometimes we are forced to sleep on the couch after lathering up in Ben Gay. Behold, the 5 worst feelings in sports:

Basketball: Jamming your Finger  - Doesn't matter how it happens, going up for a rebound or deflecting a loose ball, it is the worst thing that can happen in your whole entire life. The absolute worst. Fingers aren't supposed to turn green and purple. And yellow. And orange. And the sound oh good God the sound!

Softball: Misjudging a Fly Ball and Having it Go Over Your Head - Then turning around and having to sprint after it, so far, so far, like "how is it still rolling?" only to finally get there, pivot like Willie Mays and fire it nowhere near the cutoff man, who now stands in shallow center with his hands in the air, totally embarrassed to know you.

Golf: Not Being Able to Find Your Ball - OMG, you didn't even hit it THAT FAR off the fairway, and yet you can't find it? How is that possible? You had your eye on it the whole time. Did someone pick it up? How long are you going to look for it? Seriously you have like, 50 other balls in your bag. Let's just give up. Why are we still looking? I'm so thirsty.

Basketball: Missing a Free Throw When Shooting Up Teams and Having to Sit Out a Game Because of It - Not only did you miss, but the dude who made it after you shoots with two hands. Ugh, just leave the courts and/or stop playing sports forever.

Football/Hockey/Lacrosse/Boxing/Basketball: Getting Blasted - There is nothing worse than getting blasted. Any type of blast, really. I know I just said that jamming your finger is the worst, but I was wrong. Getting blasted is the worst. It's interesting because blasting is so fun, and yet getting blasted is so horrible. Can you imagine blasting someone whilst getting blasted? Rocky II was the best movie EVERRRRRRR.

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Report: Sixers' Ben Simmons will undergo surgery next week for foot injury

Report: Sixers' Ben Simmons will undergo surgery next week for foot injury

Ben Simmons will reportedly need surgery and the theory that his recent weight gain caused his injury looks to be false.

The Sixers believe Simmons suffered an "acute injury" not related to him adding over 30 pounds of muscle. The rookie will undergo surgery next week, according to ESPN's Marc Stein

Simmons played at LSU at 217 pounds and was up to 238 before the draft. On media day, he said he was up to 250.

The news of surgery is a little disappointing. As a guest on CSNPhilly's SportsNet Central, orthopedic surgeon Dr. Mark Schwartz, who is not treating Simmons, gave some insight into what a fracture to the fifth metatarsal could mean. Surgery could mean a lengthy recovery, according to Schwartz. If it is the dreaded Jones fracture, it'll be tough to know Simmons' timetable.

"The prognosis is still good, but we know that Kevin Durant had a Jones fracture and he was out for an entire season because of it not healing," Schwartz said. "But the prognosis is good, however, the question is whether it's going to require surgery or not."

Per Stein, Simmons requires surgery. Schwartz said that surgery would involve inserting a screw to repair the fracture.

With how the Sixers have handled their prospects in the past and the way they've been cautious with the likes of second-year player Jahlil Okafor, they'll likely be conservative when assessing Simmons' possible return.

Eagles bye week: Team soaring up national power rankings

Eagles bye week: Team soaring up national power rankings

After handling two inferior opponents in the Browns and Bears, the Eagles' Week 3 matchup with the Super Bowl-hopeful Steelers was viewed as a barometer to gauge just how good Carson Wentz and Co. really were.

Despite their 34-3 shellacking of the Steelers, no one came rushing to label the Eagles as the team to beat in the NFC nor as legitimate Super Bowl contenders less than a quarter of the way through the season, and understandably so. 

But as the Eagles go on their Week 4 bye, the national media has begun to buy stock in the Birds as a playoff team following their 3-0 start, a far cry from the bottom-five team many projected them to be in 2016.

Here's what they're saying about the Eagles during their bye week:

Power Rankings
Many in the national media expected the Eagles to flop in 2016, but since the start of the season the Birds have experienced a rapid rise in power rankings. 

ESPN: No. 7 

CBS Sports: No. 5 

FOX Sports: No. 5 

NFL.com: No. 6

USA Today:  No. 4

Carson Wentz for ... MVP?
Through the first three games of his NFL career Carson Wentz has been nothing short of stellar. The rookie quarterback has posted a 64.7 completion percentage, five touchdowns and a 103.8 passer rating, all while throwing zero interceptions. 

Is it safe to say Wentz is the early leader in the clubhouse for Offensive Rookie of the Year? Sure. How about for league MVP? It may sound crazy, but Jeff Dooley of The Washington Post would tab Wentz as the Most Valuable Player through three weeks for being the league’s best quarterback thus far.

"Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz is off to the best three-game start that Pro Football Focus has ever recorded from a rookie QB in 11 seasons of grading players,” Dooley wrote. “His 90.5 grade (on a 0-100 scale) is not only better than the three-game starts of each of the star rookies from 2012’s renowned QB class (Indianapolis’ Andrew Luck, Washington’s Robert Griffin III and Seattle’s Russell Wilson, all of whom led their teams to the playoffs in Year 1, and by season’s end ranked among PFF’s top 15 quarterback grades), but it is the top mark among all QBs so far for the 2016 NFL season.”

Show the defense some love too
Enough Carson Wentz talk, how about this Eagles defense?

Jim Schwartz’s unit paces the NFL in total points allowed (27), is third in total sacks (10), fourth in yards per game (274.3) and seventh in total turnovers (eight).

Under the tutelage of Schwartz this defense has come a very long way since last season, when opposing offenses torched the Eagles for an average of 26.9 points on 400-plus yards per game. 

According to Kevin Patra of NFL.com, that improved defense is so important because it’s going to keep the Eagles alive in games when Wentz is having a rough outing.

"With Fletcher Cox making an early case for consideration behind Von Miller in the Defensive Player of the Year discussion, Brandon Graham in a defense better suited to his talents and a playmaking safety duo in Malcolm Jenkins and Rodney McLeod, the Eagles defense is soaring,” Patra wrote. “Through three games it's the prefect mesh of talent and scheme. If Wentz ever stumbles this season, the Eagles' D will be there to help prop up the rookie and get through a rough outing or three."

Playoffs?
The Eagles had the longest odds (plus-600) by a wide margin to come out of the NFC East before the season began. Now, they’re the favorites (2/1) to capture the division crown as they sit alone atop the NFC East.

There's still a lot of football left to be played, including all six division games, but the Birds simply reaching the playoffs for the first time since 2013 with a rookie quarterback and first-year head coach would be an impressive feat. 

According to Peter King of Sports Illustrated the Eagles' ceiling is even higher than just a division title and a playoff berth.

"It shouldn’t be happening this fast for the Eagles, coming up from 7-9 with a rookie head coach and a rookie quarterback from North Dakota State and a defense that needed a new leader," King wrote. "But it is, and there’s nothing fluky about it. The Eagles are legitimate deep-into-January contenders right now."