The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MEATBALLS THE OLYMPICS?!

Seriously, how awesome are meatballs the Olympics?! Take this survey or just forget about it and go get some meatballs to see if you are a certified Winter Olympics SUPERFAN!

Ready?!

WHO CARES!

source: lhric.org

What are your thoughts on five-time Olympic gold medalist, Bonnie Blair?

a) Amazing athlete, seems like a genuinely nice person, one of the worst haircuts in the history of Western civilization.
b) Honestly, nothing about her matters besides that haircut.
c) I once knew this lady who was born without feet, and she had a nicer haircut than Bonnie Blizz.

Do you believe in miracles?

a) I believe Al Michaels is a dorf.
b) If Jared Leto wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, then yes, I believe in miracles.
c) It was a miracle every time Bonnie Blair walked around in public with that haircut.

Two words: Jeremy Bloom

a) I legitimately thought he was going to become the next Vai Sikahema.
b) I had no idea that Vai Sikahema would become the next Greg Gumbel.
c) That's an insult to Greg Gumbel.

source: whocares.com

What is the most amazing thing about this picture of Alberto Tomba?

a) The lady in pink looking up longingly at Tomba la Bomba.
b) Tomba's la Bomba
c) The dude on the right rockin' a Channel 6 Action News hat?

Better ski jumper? Nøørven Glürgenbørgvs or Riklabst Bendtqkvøst?

a) C'mon, obviously Glürgenbørgvs!
b) Dude, are you kidding me? Bendtqkvøst!
c) I'm sorry, this is so stupid. Let's move on.

Who has had a better post-Olympic career, Apollo Ohno or this trash can? 

a) Well, let's see, Ohno was on Dancing With the Stars, and then he did Subway commercials, and now he's oh obviously it's the trash can.
b) That's honestly a pretty nice trash can.
c) First of all, that is not a nice trash can. It's all dented and it's full of garbage. Still way cooler than Apollo's stupid stupid STUPID soul patch.

Did you watch Johnny Weir's reality show? Be honest. 

a) yes

Whom do you prefer? Herschel Walker the football player or Herschel Walker the bobsledder?

a) Well, considering Herschel Walker was singlehandedly responsible for building the Cowboys dynasty, I've gotta go with Herschel the bobsledder.
b) I dunno, Herschel the football player had a pretty good career. And he had a decent run with the Eagles. He was gay, right?
c) I had an Uncle Herschel who loved corned beef and I am not making that up.

How amazing was the Jamaican bobsled team?

a) Dude, they crashed on every run. I loved them.
b) The AUDACITY of them to even sign up. Incredible.
c) I am sad to report that I have never seen the movie Cool Runnings. My life is meaningless.

Remember when Dan Jansen's sister died and then he slipped and fell and it was really sad?

a) And then he kept slipping and falling! Every single time! He seriously sucked.
b) Ugh, that look on his face when he was just sitting on the ice in disbelief? I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle how he just kept embarrassing his country over and over and over again.
c) I'm sorry I really am.

source: DonPollackLookalikes.com

Favorite Winter Olympic athlete OF ALL TIME

a) Katarina Witt, no doubt. Her beauty, the way she looked, her physical characteristics, her appearance, how pretty she was, the way she bathed in a pool of flowers with her melon butt rising from the water omg you have to click this.
b) Eddie the Eagle, hands down the worst athlete to ever appear in any Olympic games. It's not even close. Those glasses!
c) Sidney Crosby lol

Are you prepared for Mary Carillo's human interest stories?

a) No.
b) Nope!
c) How many pants suits do you think she owns? 20? 30? I'd say 90.

Results: Congrattauulatastions! You just read the stupidest post in the 700 Level's history! Consider yourself a certified Olympics superfan. And a giant dorf.

Follow The Evster @TVMWW

Carson Wentz goes through lengthy pregame warmup in Indy

Carson Wentz goes through lengthy pregame warmup in Indy

INDIANAPOLIS -- Carson Wentz isn't playing on Saturday night against the Colts, but the No. 2 overall pick might have a chance to play in the preseason finale on Thursday, which has been the hope all along. 

Wentz went through a lengthy pregame warmup -- about an hour -- on Saturday as his teammates prepared to face Andrew Luck and the Colts. Long after Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel went into the locker room, Wentz continued to throw. 

This week's pregame warmup was much more intense than the one he was put through last week in Pittsburgh. On Saturday, he dropped back to throw and looked smooth throwing on the run, even across his body. Quarterbacks coach John DeFilippo put Wentz through the hour-long workout on Saturday. Leaving the field after the workout, offensive coordinator Frank Reich agreed that Wentz looked good. 

The real test will be the X-ray, because no matter how good he feels or how much he lobbies, he'll need to be cleared before he's allowed to return. Shortly after the injury, Wentz said practice would be determined by his pain tolerance and game action would be determined by medical personnel. If he doesn't play against the Jets, it could be a while before Eagles fans get to see their quarterback of the future. 

Another hurdle is the short week of practice thanks to a Thursday game coming after a Saturday game. 

"It's interesting because next week we only got really two days of practice," Doug Pederson said earlier in the week. "We'll see. We'll evaluate him through the weekend. [We’ll] take him on this trip and work him out a little bit when we get to Indy [Indianapolis], and then again next Monday and Tuesday. We've got to at least get a day's work with him in order for him to go in the game next Thursday."

Along with Wentz, there are several other Eagles who won't play against the Colts: Aaron Grymes, Alex McCalister, Joe Walker, Jordan Matthews, Isaac Seumalo and Mike Martin.

Tonight's Lineup: After hitting 6th Friday, Odubel Herrera moves up to 2-hole

Tonight's Lineup: After hitting 6th Friday, Odubel Herrera moves up to 2-hole

After watching his club get smacked around in a 9-4 loss to the Mets on Friday, Phillies manager Pete Mackanin has tinkered with his lineup for Saturday's game at Citi Field.

Odubel Herrera moves up to the two-hole after hitting sixth Friday, while Aaron Altherr goes from second to third and Jimmy Paredes gets the start in left and bats seventh. Ryan Howard starts again at first base and bats fifth.

Herrera, who has been struggling since the All-Star break with a .257 average, has lost his leadoff spot to Cesar Hernandez but is starting to find his swing again.

In the last seven days, Herrera is 5 for 17 with a double and a run scored. In August, the centerfielder is hitting .288 with two homers and five RBIs.

Altherr, who played left field Friday, moves over to right field and Peter Bourjos gets the night off. Altherr is hitting .255 with four home runs and 19 RBIs on the season.

Here is the full Phillies lineup:

1. Cesar Hernandez, 2B
2. Odubel Herrera, CF
3. Aaron Altherr, RF
4. Maikel Franco, 3B
5. Ryan Howard, 1B
6. Cameron Rupp, C
7. Jimmy Paredes, LF
8. Freddy Galvis, SS
9. Jeremy Hellickson, P

For more on tonight's's game, check out Steven Tydings' game notes.

Jake Metz, Soul credit strong 4th-quarter defensive effort for championship win

Jake Metz, Soul credit strong 4th-quarter defensive effort for championship win

GLENDALE, Ariz. – Despite the Soul leading by three touchdowns early in ArenaBowl XXIX, there was little cheering from the their bench.

Given the volatility that is Arena League football and the frequency from which teams can strike, the approach remained resolute and determined. Defensive tackle Jake Metz kept the mindset of a scoreless game and could not stop hearing words coming from Ron Jaworski, a highly vocal partner in the Soul’s ownership.

“He kept yelling that offense gets headlines but defense wins championships,” said Metz, who currently lives in Schwenksville, Montgomery County, and went to Shippensburg University. “That resounded with me, and brought the championship.”

Metz and his defensive teammates then went out and shut down a highly hazardous and explosive Arizona Rattlers offensive unit en route to a 56-42 win (see story). Led by quarter Nick Davila, the only three-time MVP in Arena Football League history, the Rattlers could manage only seven points in a critical fourth quarter.

At the same time, Metz recovered a fumble by Davila with the Soul holding a slim six-point margin with just under six minutes to play. That turnover was the key point in the Soul’s eventual win, and cemented the role of the defense as a shut-down unit.

On the subsequent possession, Soul quarterback Dan Raudabaugh connected with Shaun Kauleinamoku on a 30-yard scoring strike. That created a 14-point comfort zone and the final margin of victory.

“These players deserve this championship,” Soul head coach Clint Dolezel said. “This is a first class organization and ownership gives the players a first-class experience. That way, we can attract great players, and with great players comes success.”

In capturing the league title Friday night, the victory was the second in franchise history. In 2008, the Soul and Phillies each won championships, and that was the last time a professional team captured a title in Philadelphia.

Metz remembers the Phillies' win over the Rays, and pointed out, “I went to those games as a kid.” That championship stuck with the 6-foot-6, 265 pounder, and helped to forge a championship mentality.

Early in the fourth quarter, Arizona caught the Soul at 42-42. From that point, Raudabaugh directed two scoring drives, and along with Metz’s important fumble recovery, carried the Soul to the title.

“It’s all about how you respond,” said Raudabaugh, who finished with 20 for 36 for 278 yards and six touchdowns. “Granted, they have a very explosive team, but we were never out it. They did come back, but we had an answer for them.”

The answer was a strong defense which Dolezel indicated was playing at their peak just prior to the title game.

Defensive back Tracy Belton, the AFL defensive player of the year and DB Dwayne Hollis, whose fumble recovery for a touchdown early in the game was another key defensive play, clearly showed how a defense can carry a team to a league title. That was the effort the Soul brought together in an environment as unpredictable as the Arena Football League.