The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

The Evster's Super Duper Olympics Survey!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MEATBALLS THE OLYMPICS?!

Seriously, how awesome are meatballs the Olympics?! Take this survey or just forget about it and go get some meatballs to see if you are a certified Winter Olympics SUPERFAN!

Ready?!

WHO CARES!

source: lhric.org

What are your thoughts on five-time Olympic gold medalist, Bonnie Blair?

a) Amazing athlete, seems like a genuinely nice person, one of the worst haircuts in the history of Western civilization.
b) Honestly, nothing about her matters besides that haircut.
c) I once knew this lady who was born without feet, and she had a nicer haircut than Bonnie Blizz.

Do you believe in miracles?

a) I believe Al Michaels is a dorf.
b) If Jared Leto wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, then yes, I believe in miracles.
c) It was a miracle every time Bonnie Blair walked around in public with that haircut.

Two words: Jeremy Bloom

a) I legitimately thought he was going to become the next Vai Sikahema.
b) I had no idea that Vai Sikahema would become the next Greg Gumbel.
c) That's an insult to Greg Gumbel.

source: whocares.com

What is the most amazing thing about this picture of Alberto Tomba?

a) The lady in pink looking up longingly at Tomba la Bomba.
b) Tomba's la Bomba
c) The dude on the right rockin' a Channel 6 Action News hat?

Better ski jumper? Nøørven Glürgenbørgvs or Riklabst Bendtqkvøst?

a) C'mon, obviously Glürgenbørgvs!
b) Dude, are you kidding me? Bendtqkvøst!
c) I'm sorry, this is so stupid. Let's move on.

Who has had a better post-Olympic career, Apollo Ohno or this trash can? 

a) Well, let's see, Ohno was on Dancing With the Stars, and then he did Subway commercials, and now he's oh obviously it's the trash can.
b) That's honestly a pretty nice trash can.
c) First of all, that is not a nice trash can. It's all dented and it's full of garbage. Still way cooler than Apollo's stupid stupid STUPID soul patch.

Did you watch Johnny Weir's reality show? Be honest. 

a) yes

Whom do you prefer? Herschel Walker the football player or Herschel Walker the bobsledder?

a) Well, considering Herschel Walker was singlehandedly responsible for building the Cowboys dynasty, I've gotta go with Herschel the bobsledder.
b) I dunno, Herschel the football player had a pretty good career. And he had a decent run with the Eagles. He was gay, right?
c) I had an Uncle Herschel who loved corned beef and I am not making that up.

How amazing was the Jamaican bobsled team?

a) Dude, they crashed on every run. I loved them.
b) The AUDACITY of them to even sign up. Incredible.
c) I am sad to report that I have never seen the movie Cool Runnings. My life is meaningless.

Remember when Dan Jansen's sister died and then he slipped and fell and it was really sad?

a) And then he kept slipping and falling! Every single time! He seriously sucked.
b) Ugh, that look on his face when he was just sitting on the ice in disbelief? I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle how he just kept embarrassing his country over and over and over again.
c) I'm sorry I really am.

source: DonPollackLookalikes.com

Favorite Winter Olympic athlete OF ALL TIME

a) Katarina Witt, no doubt. Her beauty, the way she looked, her physical characteristics, her appearance, how pretty she was, the way she bathed in a pool of flowers with her melon butt rising from the water omg you have to click this.
b) Eddie the Eagle, hands down the worst athlete to ever appear in any Olympic games. It's not even close. Those glasses!
c) Sidney Crosby lol

Are you prepared for Mary Carillo's human interest stories?

a) No.
b) Nope!
c) How many pants suits do you think she owns? 20? 30? I'd say 90.

Results: Congrattauulatastions! You just read the stupidest post in the 700 Level's history! Consider yourself a certified Olympics superfan. And a giant dorf.

Follow The Evster @TVMWW

Nerlens Noel joins Sixers in New Orleans, may play Sunday vs. Pistons

Nerlens Noel joins Sixers in New Orleans, may play Sunday vs. Pistons

NEW ORLEANS — Nerlens Noel made another step toward his return from arthroscopic left knee surgery by joining the Sixers in New Orleans for their game against the Pelicans.

Noel arrived on Wednesday with Robert Covington, who is slated to start after missing the last three games with a left knee sprain. Noel is not cleared to play, but Brown doesn’t think it will be long until he suits up. 

“I don’t think far away,” Brown said of Noel’s regular season debut after shootaround.

When asked about the possibility of Noel playing this weekend when the Sixers face the Pistons on Sunday in Detroit, Brown replied, “Maybe.” 

Noel has missed the entire regular season recovering from elective surgery for an inflamed plica in October. He completed the first phase of his rehab in Birmingham, Ala. and has been continuing his work with the Sixers. This trip to New Orleans is the first time he has been with the Sixers on the road. 

“[He is] integrating with the team, studying a lot of tape, scripting with his teammates with the understanding that we have a chance to see him soon,” Brown said. “All that trying to ramp it up where he can go to an NBA court more comfortably.”

Noel spoke out about his displeasure with the Sixers crowded frontcourt at the start of the preseason. He recently stuck with his stance, saying, “I don’t think the roster’s changed.”

Brown is working to keep the team moving forward as a unit while still being aware of and recognizing Noel’s perspective. 

“It does,” Brown said when asked if Noel’s open frustration concerns him as it pertains to team cohesiveness. “But I feel like it’s so much a part of what we try do around here that it’s not like you’re going to blink and you’ve forgotten something that equals camaraderie, that equals team, that equals trying to keep this together, and you’ve left it for a week … 

“It’s a day-to-day focus for me and it’s a very candid conversation with me and the player. The team hears it, the individual hears it, we all understand it … We need to coexist and we need to understand the reality of it all, too. There’s a human side you understand. It’s also pride, it’s competitiveness, it’s do your job, it’s nothing is given, you’ve got to take stuff, draw your own line in the sand, competitors rule the day.”

Last season Noel averaged 11.1 points and a team-high 8.1 rebounds per game. The Sixers will look forward to having him back on the court in that once-crowded frontcourt that is now shorthanded. Jahlil Okafor remained in Philadelphia with gastroenteritis. Ben Simmons still is rehabbing from a right foot fracture. 

"Soon you’re going to see Ben Simmons coming to a team bench where he doesn’t come out with boots and have to push him in some type of wheely apparatus," Brown said. "We’ve dealt with so many injuries trying to find that balance of dealing with their health and so on, and then trying to integrate them back into a team is part of growing a program."