The following is a guest post by Eric Marmon
Despite all the changes for the 2015 Philadelphia Eagles, one thing remains the same: the easiest way for the Birds to be playing postseason football is by winning the NFC East. Between themselves, the New York Giants, Washington Redskins, and Dallas Cowboys, one of these franchises will be hosting a playoff game come January. Let’s take the opportunity to look at what each NFC East rival currently has to be optimistic about, and revel in the fact that we’ve got many more reasons to be excited than any of the Eagles biggest rivals.
Here’s a look at where the other members of the NFC East stand before the start of the 2015 season.
New York Giants
Why Their Fans Are Optimistic: Victor Cruz and Odell Beckham, plus Tom Coughlin can’t be killed.
Why They’ll Stink: ‘Cause Coughlin is actually a crazy old man
There are plenty of reasons to think the New York Giants will be a disaster. The offensive line is inexperienced. The secondary has been a game of musical chairs. The phenom wide receiver can’t take a joke from his own teammates, while his partner in crime is coming off the Ryan Howard injury. There’s no running game to speak of, the best defensive player literally lost a finger playing with fireworks, and the out-of-touch head coach on the hot seat spent his offseason arguing with Siri (seriously. Google it). The 2015 New York Giants, to be blunt, bring little for fans to get excited about.
And that’s why they’ll probably win a Super Bowl, right? Every time this team is left for dead, they climb out of the ashes and punch Bill Belichick in his stupid mouth. Inexplicably, Coughlin’s squad seems to thrive when you’re checking them for a pulse.
This twisted belief that the New York Giants are somehow the NFL’s San Antonio Spurs is the only real reason their fans should be optimistic. Fifty-year-old defensive tackle Cullen Jenkins, he of Philadelphia Dream Team fame, publicly admitted his team can’t handle adversity. New Eagles starting safety Walter Thurmond essentially accused the Giants medical staff of using leeches. From the outside looking in, this looks like a team on the verge of implosion, while an overly-patient ownership seems content to watch them bottom out before hitting the reset button. It feels a lot more like the 2012 Andy Reid Eagles, as opposed to the 2007 or 2011 Giants.
NFL
If the wide receiver combo is ever healthy, and the O-line gives Eli enough time to chuck them the ball, sure, this offense could be scary, albeit one-dimensional. I just don’t see it. Last year they lost seven in a row to effectively end their season, including a laugher to the Jacksonville Jaguars. It’s fair to wonder how much fight is left, as the roster doesn’t seem to have enough all-around talent to pose a serious threat.
Keep in mind, no matter how amazing this catch was, the Giants still lost that game.
The fate of the 2015 Giants is one of the more interesting plots of the season. If Coughlin can muster up some more magic, simply making the playoffs could keep him in the Big Apple through the end of Eli’s career.
Miss the playoffs, and the GMen are looking for a new head coach for the first time since Terrell Owens first season in Philly.
Prediction: Cruz-and-Beckham don’t become Carter-and-Moss, the Giants crumble across the board, and Coughlin “retires” around Christmas. Oh, and Eli Manning gets some outlandish contract extension, ensuring we have to look at his stupid face for another thousand years.
Washington Redskins
Why Their Fans Are Optimistic: N/A
Why They’ll Stink: See above
The Washington Football team (which is what most major media outlets call them now because “Redskin” is like, crazy offensive) are the NFL’s equivalent to the Selina Meyer’s office in VEEP. Everything they touch seems to turn into a septic tank of controversy. Things are so bad in the nation's capital that the team president had to tell his local media this offseason his team was “winning off the field”... which is the equivalent of Joe Banner’s infamous “Gold Standard” comment, if J-Ban’s had said it while standing inside of a public urinal while doing the ice-bucket challenge with a gallon of uncooked crawfish.
Yet despite being the most laughed-at franchise in the National Football League, the Skin’s pose a very real problem for their division rivals.
Try not to laugh.
Through all of the ridiculousness -- the disposed franchise savior, the newly anointed interception machine at quarterback, the defensive coordinator from the 0-16 Detroit Lions, the blatantly offensive team name, the pay-as-you-go Will Call office, the tremendously inappropriate GM’s wife, the comically-evil meddling man-boy owner who is known for suing old ladies, etc. -- the team just refuses to roll over and die.
These aren’t the Bucs or the Jaguars. The Skins, somehow, find a way to ruin people’s day. The Eagles found that out last year when a Week 16 upset virtually eliminated them from the playoffs. The Cowboys learned it as well when Colt McCoy somehow beat them in Week 8. The Washington Football Team, from an NFC East perspective, is a terrible nuisance. They’re the gridiron version of gnats, which for the record, would be a much less offensive team nickname. You know what else would be a less offensive team name? Practically anything.
The Eagles will surely be favored over Washington in Week 4. Just don’t assume it’ll be a blowout, and don’t count two easy wins for the Giants and Cowboys either. This is a dung-fire that will be more enjoyable watching from a distance.
Prediction: The Skins have the worst record in the NFC East, but once again have some weird outlier victories that end up killing someone’s season (hopefully someone elses). Lastly, RG3 ends up in Kansas City with Andy Reid.
Dallas Cowboys
Why Their Fans Are Optimistic: Beast offensive line, crazy wide receiver, delusions of grandeur
Why They’ll Stink: ‘Cause lightning won’t strike twice
Coming off their second postseason victory in eighteen years, fans of the Cowboys are as pumped as ever. If the NFC East has taught us anything the past four years, it’s that last season means diddly.
The reality is, for the Cowboys to have the success they had in 2014, a lot of things had to go right. Tony Romo and his entire offensive line had to stay healthy. Any videos of Dez Bryant allegedly beating his girlfriend in a Wal-Mart parking lot had to stay hidden. The Seahawks had to forget to use Marshawn Lynch more than ten times in Week 6. Brad Smith and Josh Huff had to whatever-the-hell-this-was. The ball bounced well for the 2014 Cowboys, and as a result, Jerry Jones and Chris Chrstie got to create gif nirvana over a division title and a playoff victory. Bravo.
It’s not gonna happen again.
First, there may be no bigger drop in production this season than the 2014 Dallas rushing game vs the 2015 model. You want to let Murray go, that’s perfectly fine (even advisable, considering how much they criminally overused him). However, replacing him with Joseph Randle and newly-signed Darren McFadden instead of drafting anyone was dumber than wearing a bright red sweater to a football game in Texas. The Cowboys starting running back is now a guy the Oakland Raiders decided to give up on. I’m sure 2015 is the year “Run DMC” will finally reach that ceiling!
Speaking of ceilings, Tony Romo is now 35 years old, and missed practices regularly last season for treatment on his twice-operated on back. His back-up, you’ll remember, is Brandon Weeden, who might actually be older. If Romo ends up missing any significant time, it’s a matter of when, not if, Dez goes supernova on Old Man Weeden on the sideline. Yeah, smart move, paying this powder-keg over Murray.
The Cowboys offensive line was great last season. They were also incredibly healthy. Replicating that run of health is betting against the house, a lesson the Eagles learned all too well in 2014. It’s also worth noting that Bill Callahan, the team’s offensive line coach, up and left for D.C. this offseason.
Murray is gone, Jason Witten is in decline, and Jason Garrett is still the coach that called for a 30-yard-pass to Dez on 4th-and-2 against Green Bay. Who cares whether or not he caught the ball? WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING THE BALL THERE!? Man, I hate Dallas so much.
Lastly, bringing in domestic abuser Greg Hardy will only hurt the team’s karmic ratings -- if they had any to begin with. It’s like Jerry wanted to remind the world his team was evil.
So forget last season; recent history with this franchise is getting hot in October and November, then collapsing hilariously by the time Christmas comes along. If the Giants and Eagles can combine to put the Cowboys in an 0-2 hole to start the season -- with games against Seattle, New England, and Green Bay on the horizon -- it’ll be very tough for this team to replicate a record that, quite frankly, they were lucky to achieve last season.
Prediction: While the Cowboys will be the Eagles toughest competition in the NFC East this year, they’ll be done in by a weaker roster, a tougher schedule, and a couple bad breaks. Y’know, essentially exactly what happened to the Birds in 2014.