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Carlos Ruiz pitches for Mariners — and actually does OK

Carlos Ruiz pitches for Mariners — and actually does OK

We love you Chooch, but maybe pitching is not your thing.

In the eighth inning of a 19-6 game Tuesday, the Seattle Mariners called upon Carlos Ruiz to pitch after the second seven-run inning for the Minnesota Twins. It didn't go so well, but it could have been a lot worse.

Ruiz, who had appeared in 1,109 major-league games, was making his debut on the mound.

He opened the inning against Eddie Rosario, and after Ruiz started him with a 78-mph strike, Rosario belted his third home run of the night to center to give the Twins a 20-6 lead.

Ruiz then walked Ehire Adrianza before nearly allowing a home run to Chris Himenez, a play that was challenged and remained a double.

With second and third and no one out, Ruiz went to work.

He faced Robbie Grossman and got him to pop out to second before walking Max Kepler on five pitches to load the bases. Ruiz caught Kennys Vargas looking on strikes and fielded his own position, getting Eduardo Escobar to ground out to end the inning.

All told, Ruiz threw 30 pitches, 14 for strikes and topped out at 84.4 mph.

Here he is in all of his glory. You can watch all three of his outs right here.

He did a great job working out of a bases-loaded jam, but before you say he's better than how the Phillies' bullpen has done this season, he should probably keep his day job.

Chase Utley makes unreal play to save perfect game before no-hit bid ends in walk-off fashion

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Chase Utley makes unreal play to save perfect game before no-hit bid ends in walk-off fashion

Chase Utley has always had a flair for the dramatic.

And not just with his bat or hustle, but also with his glove.

Who can forget this clutch, heads-up play?

At 38 years old, Utley still throws around his body like he's 24 and in his rookie season. The former Phillie showed his signature full-out extension in a huge moment Wednesday night.

Pitching in the eighth inning against the Pirates, Dodgers starter Rich Hill had not allowed a runner to reach base. That looked like it was going to change when Josh Bell laced a liner destined to drop in right field. Utley then stunned everyone at PNC Park by preserving the perfect game bid with a jaw-dropping diving catch.

The best is Utley's typical stoicism, just getting up and acting like, no big deal, one down, fellas.

His teammates had the opposite reaction. They were in amazement, as seen below.

Believe it or not, Hill took a no-hitter into the bottom of the 10th inning when he lost it — and the game — on Josh Harrison's walk-off blast for a 1-0 defeat (see story).

Baseball is a funny game. Right now, the Dodgers are the best at it with an 89-36 record, 13 games ahead of the next closest teams (Nationals and Astros).

Before you know it, the playoffs will be here — and we all know Utley is bound for some October dramatics.

Philly fan takes one last jab at his beloved Eagles' futility in his obituary

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Philly fan takes one last jab at his beloved Eagles' futility in his obituary

Jeffrey Clayton Riegel was a wonderful husband, uncle, brother, and son. He was also a Philadelphia Eagles fan with a pretty good sense of humor.

At least according to his obituary.

Mr. Riegel died on Aug. 18, 2017, at 56 but it appears he had enough time to have some fun on his way out.

His obituary reads relatively standard on the Wimberg Funeral Home website, naming all of the family he leaves behind as well as mentioning some of his favorite greetings for different people and some of his nicknames — some people called him "Toad."

But it's this part that will have Jeffrey smiling in the great beyond:

God gave Jeffrey the miracle of time to prepare which allowed him to verbalize his last wishes. He requested to have 8 Philadelphia Eagles as pall bearers so the Eagles can let him down one last time.

Touche, Mr. Riegel, touche.

Say hello to Reggie, Jerome, and Buddy for us. Maybe they haven't heard a boo in a while, who knows.