Tolley Sunshine or: How I Made it Through the Birds' Preseason Game

Tolley Sunshine or: How I Made it Through the Birds' Preseason Game

I grew up here, so I am more than familiar with Don Tollefson's body of work. By all accounts he's a terrific guy who tirelessly supports and promotes local charities. He's also, by a wide margin, the most optimistic person to ever walk the face of the earth. He makes Pat Croce seem depressed.

He has a unique ability to find the silver lining in any, and I stress any, situation. For years my friends and I have dropped "he's an alllllllll arounnnndddd gooooooood guy" references in our best Tolley/Quagmire voice.

His sunny disposition was once again on display last night during the Eagles/Chiefs game. He was so happy and so positive that he inspired me to tweet a bunch of "If Tolley Called (insert tragedy here)". I've copied/pasted them after the jump.

-Don Tollefson calling Katrina disaster: "What a great, great job by FEMA. The levees stood tall in adverse conditions.Thanks, Mother Nature"

-Don Tollefson calling the Hindenbug disaster: an achievement in engineering. the germans are truly talented. a terrific bit of pyrotechnics.

-Don Tollefson calling crash of Titanic: what a glorious majestic iceberg. deck chairs are heavenly. love cold water - gets the blood flowing

-Don Tollefson calling Jonestown Massacre: Guyana's beautiful. Trust me, Jim Jones makes the most delicious Kool-Aid. The cyanide's terrific.

-Don Tollefson calling Lidge's 9th v SD last night: You've got to admire Brad Lidge not taking the easy way out. He craves adversity. Love seeing a balk

Perhaps it's because we're in Philly and optimism like that is so atypical, to the point of being disconcerting. All I know is that Tolley makes Pollyanna seem like a greedy, obnoxious, selfish little brat. Oh Tolley, with your positivity.

I'll leave you with one more fake Tolley call. This is Tolley calling the Monday Night Football game where Lawrence Taylor annihilated Joe Theisman's leg/career: LT with a terrific bit of sportsmanship by leaving Joey T's head connected to his shoulders. He could have decapitated him, but because he treats people so well he held up a bit. LT seems really high...on life. And how about that beautiful bone structure Theisman's showing off? His femur is a work of art. Great job by both guys there.

Feel free to share your best fake Tolly call of any famous event in the comments.

The Phillies season in one video: 'Phanatic tries to comfort crying baby'

The Phillies season in one video: 'Phanatic tries to comfort crying baby'

What is there to say about the Philadelphia Phillies?

In doing my usual postgame perusal of the Internet after their 7-2 loss on Wednesday night, I visited Phillies.com to see what kind of "highlights" they could have possibly posted from another crushing defeat at the hands of the Colorado Rockies.

Thankfully, the first thing that caught my eye was a video titled, "Phanatic tries to comfort crying baby."

It was not Larry Andersen in the Phanatic's arms. Nor me.

And that's the Phillies season in a nutshell.

"You gotta question the parenting skills here," John Kruk said on the telecast. And he's right! What kind of parent would raise their kid to be a Philly sports fan?!?

The Phillies now have the worst record in all of baseball. They're 4-20 in their last 24 games. It's their worst start to a season since 1960.

Even the Phanatic doesn't have enough popcorn to mask all the pain.

If you want to read about the upbeat approach Pete Mackanin is taking, go give this a gander.

"In a long season, these things sometimes happen," Mackanin told reporters. "I remember Atlanta, the first half last year, was terrible. They had a real good second half. I believe we just need to get something going. We're going to put something together. I believe that."

That makes one of us.

Highly ranked 2018 recruit Brandon Slater verbally commits to Villanova

Highly ranked 2018 recruit Brandon Slater verbally commits to Villanova

The future of Villanova basketball just got brighter.

Brandon Slater, a 6-foot-6 wing and highly touted 2018 recruit, told Scout.com on Wednesday night that he has verbally committed to the Wildcats.

He later made the announcement on Twitter.

Among the 2018 recruiting class, Slater, a product of Paul VI Catholic High School in Fairfax, Virginia, is ranked in the top 30 by Scout.com and top 50 by ESPN.com. He's slated as a four-star talent by both media outlets.

Per ESPN, Slater had offers from Louisville, Maryland, Miami, Syracuse, USC and Virginia Tech. He is Villanova's first commitment for 2018.

"Going up there it just feels like a second home," Slater said, via Evan Daniels of Scout.com. "It gives me a good vibe. It's nothing like all the other schools. I just feel like a Villanova guy. It feels like PVI. It's already home."

Slater and Villanova head coach Jay Wright expressed their excitement on Twitter.